top ten signs of " he is having an affair"

[RonNumber]

that other thread got me thinking..

ill suggest ( not from pers exp luckily...)

1. texting in teh garage

1. having two phones

1. large amounts of cash lying around

I meant I've had all the above done to me, not that I've done them!

chippychippybangbang I knew OW was a potential homewrecker and was also powerless to stop it.

He liked his home comforts, said he was going camping and fishing and that his friends would be supplying everything all he had to do was turn up at the Lakes. My arse!! more like a luxury log cabin. They are so transparent when you think of it.

Oh, and the camping in the middle of nowhere bit was an excuse for his phone to be off, no signal, you see. Bollocks.

Popping round to fix her computer
Sudden interest in taking child to swimming/parties/days out
Long and detailed list of criticisms on how useless you are
Going to her work's Christmas party (she works in a children's centre so my child went too!)
Lots of long and lingering looks at OW when on joint family days out
Extra long dog walks
Buying a bunch of mistletoe for the first time ever!
Saying that they are just good friends.

Sorry he wasn't very subtle...

And just because you know he is having an affair, don't expect him to admit to it

Using a new term for you by mistake. Mine once out of the blue called me 'babe'. I am so not a babe. I could not forgive that.

Clearly I am guilty of having an affair

My phone is on silent (because it disturbs the office if it isn't)

Working late and at weekends (too much work)

Logging off computer quickly (MN Bumsex threads - fascinated horror)

knows the staff at a restaurant that's rarely mentioned (eat out all the time through work)

staying up late on PC (am here on MN past midnight)

Interest in taking child to swimming/parties/days out (I thought that's what I was doing)

Long and detailed list of criticisms on how useless you are (well I can be a bit critical)

Saying that they are just good friends (well I thought we were)

Please will you tell me who I am having an affair with? Because that's the bit that's confusing me. Is it my boss? I called him a grumpy old man today, so we must be having an affair, right?

Maintaining there was no one else and the thought of going with or being with someone else as abhorrent to him and apparently all in my twisted little mind. Aha...yeah right!

Laying everything that had gone wrong in our short (2 year) intense relationship at my door.

Sudden weekends away camping or days away with 'friends' when he was a Billy No Mates.

Sudden, obvious changes in linguistics, attitudes/beliefs...almost as if channelling someone else's advice/personality...in this case...the OW!

Mob phone always OFF, PIN protected and hidden away when previously it would be left on the bedside table.

Previously long, romantic texts/replies turn into 'k' or short, sharp, almost annoyed responses...that's if I was lucky enough to get a reply at all.

Maintaining FaceBook was totally shite and a waste of time but me subsequently finding out (thanks to Parental Controls set up on a new account just for him whilst I was away for a couple of days) that he was never off the damn thing! Well...only to look at porn...at least that didn't bother me!

Loads more...

The list is endless but I was dealing with a professional victim and fragile narcissist...wtf was I thinking!

Brings home a newspaper article about her despite saying that he didnt really know her that well and hadnt noticed she has fantastic legs.

Keeping phone on silent and the face down.

Answering back and being a bit of a knob.

Suggesting that we both take a certain amount of money each month so that we can spend it guilt free on whatever we want to despite the fact that we could barely feed our child at the time.

Making this funny squeaky noise everytime I questioned him over something that didnt quite make sense.

Stopping wanting to spend his lunch hour with me all of a sudden.

Buying chewing gum as he smokes and she didnt.

Finaly washing his cock properly.

Being VERY happy when he went off to work.

Being very excited about taking DS swimming...

Not wanting to come away with me and suddenly being fine about spending time on his own.

The list goes on and on really...

"funny squeaky noise "

lol
like the MEerkat on the simples advert?

lol Something like that, yes. A mixture between a huh? and a demented chipmunk.

Ahh, I know that noise. It's the one made by DCs the world over when you ask to see their homework diary.

lol
lovely

www.zedge.net/ringtones/662592/simples--squeak-ringtone/

Suddenly wanting to drop the kids off everywhere when he hadnt noticed them the previous ten years. Going away for the weekend with work and "losing" his phone (twice) going for long drives at 5am on a Sunday morning because he couldnt sleep, not returning until 11pm.

You come home after a night away with work and he's changed the sheets and the old ones are already washed and hanging on the washing line. He's never, ever done this before. You were not even aware that he knew where the washing machine is, let alone how to use it.

He talks quite a lot and quite openly about a 'friend' from work and even introduces aforementioned 'friend' to the people you and he socialise with but refuses to let you actually meet her.

I couldn't call because: (All night)
My battery was dead
I left my phone in the car
You wouldn't understand the reason
I knew you would be mad so I didn't tell you I was going on a stag do. What do you mean you called the police? (after 3 days of disappearing from the face of the planet)

Any suggestion of inappropriate behaviour becomes a reverse attack where I appologise for ever doubting him.

Reverse psychology.(him to me) If you were seeing someone else you would tell me wouldn't you? Please don't make a fool out of me.

Overly critical of every affair on tv. How wrong and disgusting they are.

Can not touch his phone. Actually had two - each of us with separate line.

I could not look behind the seats or in the car boot without him getting panicky.

Strange socks in the washing.

Credit card receipts for meals when away on business but £30+ for one at pizza express. Answer-Oh, i was overcharged, they reimbursed me.

Hotel booking form in ex female colleagues name.'she asked me to book on her behalf as I know the area'

Maxed credit cards but you never seem to go anywhere or spend any money...

Unknown woman emails you to ask if you are the partner of your current man

Told that partners are not invited to work occasions - one girl for work, one for family

Occasionally says' you must remember when...' and it has never happened with you.

If only I could remember the rest of the list of things I missed over 5 years.

Lucky escape in the end!

changing your landline to ex-directory without telling you

Bluefooted penguin

Flippin heck Kittya You've had it bad!

big fat liars they are

well, its funny looking back. Im sure we could all go on and on. Are there any men out there that are actually faithfull? I wonder if its more likely to be the ones that have to go away for work who are more likely to?

yeah, check out "what do you love most about your man" thread.
Made me cry... but i have faith!