top ten signs of " he is having an affair"

[RonNumber]

that other thread got me thinking..

ill suggest ( not from pers exp luckily...)

1. texting in teh garage

1. having two phones

1. large amounts of cash lying around

"Buying lots of mint chewing gum"

Um, not necessarily, VT - am buying lots of mint chewing gum to hide from DH the fact that I am smoking again

the phone thing is a usually true, although DH takes his phone everywhere and has two

The other morn he got up for a wee and took his phone with him he didn't even have any clothes on so no pocket to put it in

I said :if I was the untrusting type I would think you were messing around

BUT and tis a big one, he is on call 3 wks out of 4 and gets in huge trouble if he misses a call so takes his phone everywhere all the time

lol poledra

you might tick 2 boxes. Started smoking again and buying mint chewing gum.

Do you have 2 phones?

more showers/baths than usual

new activities with friends (often covering up for each other}

having 2 camera memory cards

oh yes

I found out years and years ago my boyfriend at the time was having an affair because (this is gross sorry) when he got into bed I snuggled into him and his dick was sticky and wet.
The relationship ended pretty much then.

Only one phone, Fox, and it belongs to work

ROAR!!! that is VILE

sim/memory cards v easy to hide though

the usual statements/phone bill stuff

DH could have anything hidden in his van, it is a bloody tip

have never forgotten that thread where the womans husband said he was going to europe for a meeting every month but never took his passport

wonder what happened there

yes that made me too mii

most people I've known who have been unfaithful have done it with someone from work and on a work trip

it's like a broken record really

Starts being nasty and snappy with you because he wants to be with her and you just don't live up. He is angry with you just for not being her.

Starts being SUPER nice is a biggy. It's the guilt

'New best friend' - a girlfriends DH developed a NBF at work, Michael and helped 'him' move house, tile his kitchen etc

Name was really Michelle.

Has a favourite dish / knows the staff at a restaurant he's rarely mentioned. My brother got caught out that way.

So, so far we have:

More sex
Less sex

Being super nice
Being nasty

Starts mentioning specific woman at work
Starts being vague about work colleague's gender

How about a catch all - stuff changes for no apparent reason...

If you do manage to get hold of their phone; strangely named, new contacts.

My XH had his co-worker in his phone as "XXXX" (It stood for SLUT if anyone is interested)

XH#1 took up jogging - but didn't get any fitter.

oooh a new number appears in his phone guised under a male pseudonym.

Crossed posts WIA

Alice - you're quite right, of course!

Then we go "How come you've suddenly started wearing aftershave / looking smart / jogging / leaving the room to make work calls"
... And he goes "Because you've been nagging me to!"

Can't win.

Far away look
Attachment to phone, which is on silent most of the time
If phone has to be switched on in your presence, a deluge of text alerts that are apparently all from work colleagues
Panic when anyone picks up said phone
Phone bills missing
Argumentative and defensive even when blatantly in the wrong
Distancing - physically and emotionally
Absence of small kind gestures
Disproportionate anger and stress
Making comments about the way you eat
"Hiding away" from family; sleeping in the day, hours spent on PC
Over-the-top protestations of love when you are suspicious
General irritation with everyone - and getting into uncharacteristic arguments with people
Picking fault with you, or appearing incredulous when you are relating a story
Your own feelings and instincts. Trust them above everything.

FWIW, the "old signs" we were probably all told to look out for, often aren't there anymore i.e. changed appearance, new clothes, weight loss, extra expenditure etc.

The phone is the biggest clue of all and seems common to every 21st century affair. This seems to be the "catch all" - that and your own instincts.

These :

1.willy all red and WORN OUT from wankery

1. Disappearance to the garage for above Activity

1. Dry self with the towel and finding ones torso Sprinkled with someone elses gingery LADYGARDEN clippings. Ew.