My BF won't come home from the pub

[MILismad]

I'm 28wks pregnant and have a little boy of 2 and everytime my BF goes to watch football or have a pint he refuses to come home, he will say he is not staying out late and his phone will be turned off or he will call me all the names under the sun if I ask him to come back, I'm so lonely I feel like I have nobody I cant call anyone because I dont want them to hate him my parents are sick of it and his mum sticks up for him I just want us to be a family and yet I face another night alone.

Also I had post natal depression and am starting to feel so low, just needed someone to tell

He has come back and i dont want him here i dont think he believes me because i have taken him back so many times now my mind is made up im not putting myself through this again im going to the CAB tomorrow find out what i can do and in the mean time i will just keep telling him to go x

Do you know I truly believed my exh to be the biggest twunt posted about on MN apart from a notable few but the fact that your bf actually laughed down the phone with his mates at the pregnant mother of his children is beyond comprehension. He is disgusting. If you want him and god knows why you would, but there you go, then now is the time to stay strong, make him go, insist on it and make sure he knows you mean it, it might just frighten him into sorting himself out but if I am honest with you I don't think it will. I left my ex for a couple of weeks and he calmed down for about 6 months afterwards during which time our dd was concieved and then just went nuts again once she was born. Men like this just don't change imvho, their sense of entitlement is too deeply rooted and tbh it was probably put there by his Mum who sounds like a tool as well!

I bet he is being super charming today as well, to make it even harder for you. This is a pattern that will be repeated over and over again till you hardly know who you are anymore unless you put a stop to it now. I really do feel for you, please keep posting whatever you decide to do.

OP, listen to tsf

Don't excuse any aspect of his behaviour, he behaves as he does because he can get away with it, not because anyone else has "conditioned" him! He is 28 years old and quite capable of knowing that calling some women a "fucking c*nt" would result in him waking up in Intensive Care. If he woke up at all.

You (and your children) are worth very much more than this cockjuggler. So tell him to fuck off and then, as an added benefit, fuck off a little further.

Oh MILismad,
I've been there.
I beleive it caused my pnd.
Him and his pathetic friends are usless twats and I know you will be so much better off without people like them around.
Take whaterver help you can and soon you will feel so much better.

Stay strong ..... he is a truly disgusting specimen and as others have said already, it's obvious he sees you as nothing ..... maybe someone to provide home comforts when it suits him at best.

The 1st few months, or maybe even years, will be hard on your own .... but they will be even harder with him on the scene because he will end up destroying you on top of everything else.

Please please embrace the support your parents are offering you. There's no shame in it and regardless of how stressed your dad is I am sure that if he is the sort to have already tried to speak to him, then he would far far rather you confide in him and get away now (or force him to leave) rather than endure this any longer.

I had a similar situation with my husband. Started when I was pregnant with my first, thinking back was so lonely and unhappy then. Didn't want to tell friends and pretended everything was OK. Over the years his drinking got more and more. Things just got worse and worse and eventually after 7 years we split up. I knew I'd given everything to make it work and just couldn't anymore. When he first moved out I was so relieved I only had the kids to look after and not worry about him too. I've been single for 3 years now and it is really lonely sometimes.. but not as bad as when I was in that relationship. And he is still blaming everything on alcohol......If I had my time again I would have left when I was pregnant. If it was important to be part of that family he would have stepped up to it.

How are you doing, MILismad?