isthisflirting?

[isthisflirting]

If someone at work who you have spent a lot of time working with says to you it's been a huge pleasure to work with you this week is that just being really nice or very slightly flirty?

accident
don't look that fabulous tbh lol
i think it's more of a friendly attraction

It's lovely to have something special going on at work.

I always have a work "boyfriend" where even though nothing ever goes on we have a lovely time and I have someone to get me coffees and make me feel good about myself!

I used to have a work "husband" - entirely innocent but really nice, and I probably spent far more time with him than my real life husband..! (For the best, as that one turned out..)

yes ~ that's how it feels,something special,entirely innocent but fun and enticing ...like a special friendship with an edge

I'm wondering where the line between a fun intense friendship and illicit behaviour really is

Snogging.

well there's been none of that

crafty hand up your blouse

Are you both single?

I don't think it matters if they're single or not. If it's just an office friendship with a bit of mutual attraction that goes no further it doesn't harm anyone. It can just make working a bit more enjoyable.

Not meaning to offend anyone with that perspective but I think these kinds of innocent friendships are very common - certainly have been where I've worked. It often gives each party the opportunity to discuss things from male/female perspective too.

Belledame ~ that's it exactly.
We're neither of us single and nothing's going to happen ..it's just an interesting and fun relationship

Hmm. How would you feel if your DP/DH told you he had a friend like this at work?

pleased

Genie, he has - her name is Helene. And she's younger and better looking than I am. I don't think you can "control" your partner. I'm not of the mind that being friends with a member of the opposite sex means he's going to jump into bed with her. It's called trust

It depends. I had lots of really close male friends at work, it was lovely, and never went beyond being platonic. Having a male viewpoint on things was great, men can make brilliant friends.

However, H has recently left our family (have 2 dc's under 5) for his closest female work "friend" (also married with young dc's) so now I'm not as sure.

So proceed with caution is the best option I think. The workplace is absolutely the most common place for these things to start.

I'd rather my DH told me if he had a 'special friend' of the opp. sex at work than keep it a secret.

Tired I apologise if I have trivialised something which has caused you pain. I'm sorry this happened to you.

tiredof ~ sorry to hear that ..I know you from another thread I think..[don't want to blow cover but you might be able to guess]

I'm not daft it is just lovely to meet new people

well ...looking forward to tomorrow lol

No need for apologies at all, isthisflirting!! H was an eejit for many other reasons but that was the final straw for me.

From my own perspective I had some lovely friendships at work this way, and am still in touch with them years on. I also know of countless situations where others crossed the line though, especially where alcohol and work do's were involved, so do be careful. I also always made an effort with wives or partners if I ever met them, so they knew there was no threat.

Now wondering where I know you from.. am on some rich and varied threads atm..

tired - I too always make an effort with the wives or partners. I'd hate someone to be worrying about me being friends with their DP.

isthis - hope you had a lovely day!

Would just like to echo those saying be careful, particularly round works parties and alcohol.

18 months ago was in a similar, flirty 'relationship' with work colleague. It was great for my ego, gave me a reason to dress well for work etc, etc. Never a suggestion it would go further, both married with kids.

Actually improved my 20-year-old marriage, as I felt sexier and I had someone to talk through marital niggles.

Thought it was under control, until this year's Christmas party ... Had little contact during the do itself, but met up for walk back to tube - and out the blue - fireworks of an intensity I don't thing I've ever felt.

Now I'm totally screwed. We agreed it can never happen again, but trying to turn clock back is not working for me at least. Lost a good friend who helped me through a lot and can't help but compare my tepid sex life with what I almost had, but was never really mine to have

Yes funny you should say that but it's been a bit funny today~I am one of those daft people that when I start to think I might like someone I feel it shows and end up behaving self consciously from then on~ so today I oscillated between feeling it was obvious I was firting to thinking I was being shy and offhand to he wasn't being as friendly to he must be able to tell that
a/I wrote this thread and
b/I was in some sort of weird turmoil!!

Why I have to be so stupid I've no idea but I have all these feelings that I think must be obvious to everyone else and have to suppress.

The whole thing has been exhausting and as he wasn't even particularly friendly I am left feeling more than a little foolish!

lol

be kind to me kind mumsnetters as I am just a fool and I feel inexplicably sad which is just ridiculous

I think it's normal to feel a bit sad if something isn't/can't be what you want it to be. If he is married, he may also have been feeling the same and feels he has to withdraw a bit. It didn't sound to me as if it was one sided.

I will join you in an 'inexplicably sad but foolish' support group and we can be kind to each other, isthisflirting

Maybe we could analyse why we, well I, feel bereft of something I didn't want until I was snatched away after only a tiny taste.

And why do I daydream about a situation that would irreparably damage at least eight other people, most of them children, if even a hint of it were real?