Dh has a friend he's had since school. When I met dh I met with his friend's partner and we all got on brilliantly and they were part of our big crowd of mates. They got married the year before me and dh and were hopeful for dcs. They moved abroad for his job and she gave up a very successful career to go with him and concentrate on having a family.
While the rest of us went on to have dcs they had a couple of very traumatic mcs, one of which was ectopic and resulted in her having an ovary removed and the other a missed mc discovered at the 12 week scan.
They were told it would be very unlikely they would conceive naturally as her age was against her too. They then decided they might then go for ivf within the next year. After the 2nd mc they came to see us and it became very plain that she was grieving terribly while he, on the other hand, looked rejuvenated, relaxed and happy. I suspected that he was having an affair and 2 months later I was proved right.
The woman he was seeing worked with him and had made a beeline for him. She even befriended his wife to try to get to know him better. She knew about the mcs too.
They split up after he left her for this woman. Our friend (the wife) was devastated. It has taken her 4 years to pick herself up, move back and build up a life for herself. She has met a lovely new man but is still so hurt that she keeps him at a slight distance. He is devoted to her and is willing to wait for her to get over her marriage. It's too late for her to have children of her own now.
Some other mutual friends have kept in touch with the husband and his new gf, have met her when they visited (they still live abroad) and he was very keen for us to meet her but we didn't want to initially. Dh eventually made the move and met up with them on nights out but I wasn't interested. We still see the ex-wife quite often and we're all very close. We were invited on another night out this week with dh's friend and his gf but I didn't want to. Other mutual friends are starting to see me as unreasonable now as I won't go on a 'jolly night out' but I don't really give a monkeys. However, I know the chap was keen to see our dcs again and always remembers them at christmas so I said they could both come round for a coffee the other day. I thought there was less likelihood of me getting drunk and having a face on me if this happened.
So I met her and they were both obviously delighted that some progress had seemingly been made. The bloke asked me to consider going out with them the next time it's arranged and they both invited us to stay with them abroad and to bring the dcs. They were both very touched that I'd invited them round and seem keen to move it all on further. But as I suspected, I feel very bitter. I know really it's none of my business really, but I know just how very hard it's been for the ex-wife and I feel angry that she's now lost her chance to be a mum.
They obviously love one another and are happy but I can't help thinking at what cost their happiness has been. It would be easier if our friend (the ex-w) had recovered but I don't think she ever will really. Everytime I looked at them the other day I kept thinking of the gf asking the ex-w about her mcs and her expressing great sympathy, whilst knowing at the same time she was shagging this poor woman's husband.
AIBU? (Didn't want to post it there though!) Does it ever get any easier all round?