what to do about dh being very angry incessantly.

[labyrinthine]

Dh is difficult and I had a thread about him being unreasonable,blaming me for things and being rude and selfish.
Now things seem to have taken a turn for the worse in terms of him getting angry over everyday things,going on at me about whatever it is and not listening to anyone else.

It's just incredibly uncomfortable to be around him.
I don't know if this is stress but how do I cope with this as I am not financially independent enough to have my own place yet but am working towards it.

Or actually is this common and most couples get cross over day to day things and I'm just a bit of a wuss[well known fact].I never get cross over the sort of things that wind him up.He also likes to say things for effect and to try to "wind me up" ~even if they aren't true.

Perspective/advice/kind words please.

Maybe someone could tattoo a public health warning on the back of his neck?

Ha Ha yes it's obviously the wives who aren't up to scratch.
IMLH like
"HE MIGHT BE QUIET BUT HE'S NOT NICE"
maybe?

or simply 'TWAT ALERT'

You're wicked lol

So what are you going to do labyrinthine? You could get the DC out of the house and then confront him with brother/sister/friends in the house at the time? If he has somewhere to go maybe he would leave if you have enough support? It sounds really scary and difficult.

He won't leave he sees this as his house that he's worked for [which he has] and he won't leave because if he did he would lose the dcs me and the house.
The house is too expensive for me to buy him out.
The only possibility is everyone leaving and going our separate ways imho.

I agree with Dittany. Don't tell him you want to split up, just leave WITH the children. He is likely to get violent if he thinks he has completely lost control of you and DCs.
Document his abusive behaviour.
Then file for divorce and force him to sell the house.

I think a solicitor would be able to tell you where you stand vis a vis the marital property and who is entitled to what, and under what circumstances (i.e., you leaving or him leaving). I think a house sale can be ordered as part of a divorce settlement, to settle the marital debt, in which case the proceeds can be divided.

Tbh, you've been a SAHM for most of your marriage, you will get the house and custody of the kids. I know you 'can't see him leaving the house' but he will leave if a court tells him to.

Just come across your thread and read through it. My ex was aggressive in a simill way but never actually hit me. He didn't need to - I was just terrified. He did the ranting and raving thing and would follow me round the house and invade my space while I wept and begged him to go away. I put up with this for seven years.

I'm away now and renting privately and work four days a week. He pays the minimum amount of maintenance, yet I am still so much better off. Hundreds of pounds a month. As part of our settlment he had to give me a copy of his tax return and this is how I learnt that he earned £15-20k more a year than I realised. These things are all abuse and your partner is doing similar.

You need to speak to WA and explain that you want to get away. I think you should definitely not say anything to him and start planning now. It takes time but can be done. I do not believe he will leave the house and even with an injunction, his aggression means you may well not feel safe. Don't worry about him turning the DC against you - it sounds like they can see straight through him.

Read the lovely Aboard the Axiom's thread here and find out how to do it.

Road rage - another classic sign.

He doesn't follow me round he shouting but you can't shut him up when he goes on ~ I don't have to get away from him in the house or anything it's not as bad as that but he gets very stressed over little things.

Sounds like a classic abuser to me, tbh. The most efficient abusers never have to hit. Hitting is a means to an end (getting their own way at all times) and they have already achieved that without raising a fist.

Do you want to live like this? There's no point waiting for him to change, because he won't.