Sex after childbirth - where,when, how long and HOW?

[northstar]

Would genuinely appreciate some advice on this, as it's time to get back in the saddle.
One minute I am afraid it will hurt or damage something, the next minute I'm afraid it won't and it'll be like waving a stick in a bucket iykwim?

My midwife told me about the time she waked in on a couple abot 2 hours after giving birth and they were at it!

but dp and i was about 5 weeks

I'm sooo jealous

I was very much like catsmother ,earlier in thread. About 3 weeks with 1st (stitches), 1 week with 2nd and 3rd.
Normal through pregs but carefullly towards end- me in charge! Been very lucky never had aprolonged period where didn't feel like it- we both need the intermacy, the closeness (even when babies not sleeping- but always had them in their own room) Looks like we are all different there is no normal just what's right for you.

Phew! I think this thread is very refreshing and a bit of a relief too. I am expecting my first soon and my sex drive has gone up during pregnancy if anything, no matter how many ailments and how incapacitated I've been feeling. The prob is DH is on strike and totally closed to any amour. I've accepted it but it made me really worry about things when I heard all the scare stories about after birth, no more sex ever, body irredeemable etc, never the same, doom doom. I mean I suppose that could still happen but it's nice to know there's still hope! I think DH thinks that's the end of us though, that all women are lost to their men once babies come, but as far as I'm concerned I'm only getting started on my sex life, I'm not ready to hang up my hat yet!!! I just have to convince him now ;)

for me was better too...after 8 weeks...thanks to a good doctor...gave me good stitches..
feel tighter then before...so more pleasure...

shame we are not doing much now...ds 11months...
don't know why but sex appeal is a bit low...

#i was about 3wks after birth but no stitches..i was still very nervous though. But once we started i realised i had been worrying about nothing

We waited about 3 weeks (bad stitches) and although I was scared we invested in a big bottle of Durex 'play' lube and have never looked back! I actually cried afterwards because it was such a relief that not only was everything ok, I actually really enjoyed it, perhaps even more than before!

As a sexual health nurse I cannot recommend lube enough, especially silicone based ones which last longer! The main thing is that you do it when you feel ready. And don't foget all the things that you used to do as teenagers... there's a lot more to sex than just penetration! And if all else fails, a bottle of wine always helps! Seriously though, if things are still not quite right after a few attempts, please go to see your GP or family planning clinic (especially if you had stitches etc) so problems can get sorted out sooner rather than later!

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anonymouschap, did you used to post quite regularly on another thread?

If it's you, I take it things are no better?

blimey AC

thats a hell of a long time!

Poor you Chickyboo. We are all very sensitive and aware of our bodies after childbirth and I'm sure you don't need to hear that your dh doesn't like the extra weight. My confidence is part of the problem with dh and I and he is very supportive and loving.

I think we need some of what Kama is on - childbrith is sexy !!??

BTW, I beat everyone except anonnymouschap - it's been 2.5 years . Dh and I are still very close though .

Good point well made kama. Part of the reason dh loves me is because we made ds so I suppose it could be interpreted as sexy. A new view point to mull over .

Why 2.5 years fatmomma? No sex at all or just no penetration? Do you want to leave it at that for good do you think? It seems a shame to me to lose that, no?

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Hiya AC

hows it going?

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Bubble, I'm not sure why it has been 2.5 years and I don't want it to stay this way. We haven't had any sort of sex since about the middle of my pregnancy. I just seem to have built some sort of physical barrier and I can't get past it. I used to be a very tactile person in general but since pg & childbirth my personal space has become huge (as well as my backside ).

Hiya AC

sorry didnt see your post earlier.

Im good, if you fancy a chat sometime - a get to know you type thing, just start a thread and im happy to chat whenever

Hi anonymouschap, you used to post a lot on the DBYSL thread under a different name I think.

Really sorry to hear you have made no progress with dw on the physical side. Have you had any further discussions on the subject or do you think the matter is now closed and nothing will change it?

3 months after dd - had a delightful forceps delivery and subsequent stiches - ice packs was my idea of Nirvana - not sex!

Make sure you use contraception and properly! Had dd in Oct, first had sex in Jan, got pregnant in April now due in Feb - Oops!