facebook etc

[feelsobloodystupid]

is there anyone out there who has been found by ex on facebook or other and had an affair, left husband and not regretted it. dont want lecture, just need to know. thanks

In the grand scheme of things, does it really mattter? Facebook is just a facilitator.

well i hate facebook lol

not really doing very well at all. feeling like im on a cloud floating somewhere. just watching phone for text from ex. he wont i know and i must not

one good reason why i shouldnt call ex :-(

Yes - massive mistake. If I could turn back time etc

There are all sorts of reasons why people chose to stay in relationships even if they are no longer "in love" (whatever that means, as Prince Charles would say...) - financial/children/inertia/family expectations/can't be bothered with hassle of splitting up etc etc.
I think these are all completely legitimate.

I know it is difficult for the screaming morality brigade, but sometimes people even have (gasp, shock, horrror) a relationship "on the side". In the interests of research, naturally, I took a look at illicit encounters, mentioned by a poster here. Oh my God - how many people are there out there in relationships who are looking for someone else for whatever reason?

Personally, I couldn't be arsed, but the reality is that lots of people can, and do.

it stupid, im nearly 50 and im thinking like a teenager. feel so utterly depressed.

Can I join you in the feeling like a teenager/utterly depressed???

I too contacted an ex last week..it was exhiliarating, thrilling, but now it's just BLOODY PAINFUL...and I wish I'd never done it.

I've even changed my password to his name! And I'm 42 years old!

Also feeling terribly guilty about dh. I'm in a happy marriage - so why am I doing this??

I feel for you Feelso...

I'm never sure, Butterballs, whether you are suggesting that it's okay for people to have an affair without their partner's knowledge i.e. deceiving them. On another thread you alluded to the fact that you had warned your own DH that you might look elsewhere for sex, in which case presumably there would be no deceit involved if you do indeed choose that route. So if we are to believe that you have personally been much more honest and straightforward in your own relationship, it puzzles me why you never suggest this honesty to others.

If however deceit is something you endorse then "shock, horror, gasp" pretty much sums up the initial feelings a betrayed partner has when it all hits the fan.....

Follow Butterballs example OP and tell your husband you're thinking of having a bit on the side! Oh but you won't will you?

It is okay for people to do whatever they damn well like in their relationships, whether married or not, for god's sake, what the hell has it got to do with anyone else whether the wife/husband is shagging the milkman/having it off with the local rugby team etc etc.

What goes on between consenting adults in private is entirely up to them, period.

I would never tell anyone what to do or whether something was "okay".

Just have a look at all the dating agencies for people in relationships - obviously there is a demand. I am not saying whether it is okay or not. I don't really care one way or another, to be honest, I am not that interested in other peoples's sex lives

Really, I mean it. If my other half wanted to have other relationships, he can, I would never stand in his way. Fact is, he can't be bothered and neither can I - but I can understand why people do, and that is up to them.

People deceive each other all the time in all sorts of ways - infidelity is at one extreme of the spectrum but what about all those "good" deceits eg: not mentioning when the other person has put on weight/you do not find them so attractive/you used to fancy their best friend etc, etc. There are all sorts of reasons why people reveal some information and conceal other information.

iknowmyheadsintheclouds if you can get out now do it, im months down the line and last night was in dreadful state. ended up on the phone to ex!!!! he says same everytime, and i know he is right, the decision has to be mine, he is there if i change my mind!! but im scared to leave what i have. i dont think i love dh and the thought of the next 30 years with him depresses me but there are things about ex that irritate me to so perhaps i would be better on my own. if i could rewind the clock i would not have this last year for all the money in te world, things were okish before and i knew no better. if you want a winge im always on here x

I started another thread so as not to hijack yours. But the lovelies on there have a good perspective.

By getting involved with someone from our past, we're only trying to relive something that would never have worked in the first place.

You say your ex irritates you. He'll continue to irritate you in 10 years time and you'll wonder why you ever left dh.

Maybe it's not your ex you're hankering after, but just your OWN company?

lol you could be right there. but we have more in common than i do with dh. i think the age thing is soooo right, i feel dreadfully old and that time is flying by. so much i have not done and dh has no intention of ever doing. i have no illusions that the grass would be greener but you dont see straight in these situations lol. life is so difficult lol

deleted fb account and changed mob number this morning. feeling very strong now. will book weekend away after xmas and have told dh things must change.