Straw poll- would you even bother to listen to this. . .

[littlestmummystop]

Met a wonderful guy in the summer. Went on about five dates, he stayed over twice.

I really felt like I was falling for him....

Then he goes abroad for a few days, doesn't call me. I sense he's cooling off. Then he changes arrangement to see me in a phone call, saying he's having a terrible time at work, in a bit of a state, feeling depressed blah blah.

Then he never calls or contacts me again.Until now.

Yep two months later he sends an apologetic text to say, it would be good to talk, he's behaved like an absolute twat and he'd like to try and explain himself. . .

Do I even bother to listen ?

Oh. right. Ok, he's a whanger. He sounds like one of these people who make a huge fetish of their own 'honesty' when what they mean is 'I demand the right not only to be rude and unkind, but to admire myself while I'm doing it.' So in your case it was ' Oh, because I'm such a wonderfully honest person, I will ring up every girl I ever dated and say to her, basically I am IN LOVE with someone who's much BETTER than you. Because that's Honest and the truth is Pure. Nothing at all to do with me having an ego the size of a planet and wanting to rub these other girl's noses in the fact that they were not actually worthy of me...'

I wouldn't read it like that at all.
I think it was decent of him to ring and explain.

Moondog: At the time, maybe. But this is months down the line, by which time she's put him out of her mind and moved on. Ringing someone up out of the blue to say 'Oh, the reason I dumped you was because I found someone I liked better' is just self-promoting self-obsessed crap. It's also massively arrogant to just assume that she gives a flying fuck anyway.

I've rung peopel in the past to apologise for being a shit and they have always appreciated it

Sorry op but I think its obvious you were making big of what was nothing 5 dates. And then he has the audacity to clear his conscience.

NEXT!

I read it as him trying to get friendly with you so that he might have some "company" on the long dark nights when him and childhood sweetheart are in separate countries.

Monty27- how many dates is 'something' then?

AnAuntieNotaMum- I vaguely thought the same, in fact at one point it sounded like he was about to apologise and say it hadn't worked out with her, but he was sorry. . . blah blah.

SGB- you are absolutely right. He's an arrogant shite, TWO months later ringing me like that is unnecessary and weird.

In fact I texted him afterwards and told him so !: 'What exactly did you want me to say to that?'

6 weeks of dating, with daily contact and sex, requires something IMO, it's not nothing. He's a twat. Lucky escape!

He was sounding you out to be a fuck-buddy.

Twat.

OP - yes 5 dates would be something to me but it doesn't appear to be anything to him.

Don't get me wrong, you have my sympathy especially as he appeared to be really into you and then 'poooof'.

Why don't you arrange to meet him at the Penguin Sanctuary?

Oh yes, please meet him at the penguine sanctuary . We need the other poster (what was her name?) as an undercover agent of course.

'penguin' not 'penguine'

Penguin sanctuary- please enlighten me !!!!

This will keep you entertained for a while at least.

enjoy

Little - I hope that cheers you up a bit.

Pink - It was tigerdroveoverthebunnies that acted as the under cover agent.

ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!

Just love it ! Poor but v clever Shiney...

If I could, I'd seriously buy him sanctuary tickets and throw a few wet fish.

That's better Little.

Oh please do Little. It should be an enforced punishment for anyone that messes around a mumsnetter!

Did he text you back Littlest?

Nope. I didn't expect him to either.

He probably had no idea what else to say. Gosh his childhood sweetheart is one 'lucky' ladyee. What a thoughtful soul she's caught.....

Has he come crawling back to you with his excuses, or is he down the penguin sanctuary still?

Mmm, I think he wanted someone to spend time with while new GF is out of the country too!

After 6 weeks of dating I'd never expect to just disappear with no explanation and would be annoyed if someone did the same to me.

Overall, he sounds rude, and you can do better OP!