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Relationships

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Original poster

What do you imagine your ex-boyfriend(s) are doing now?

70 replies

Ponymum · 29/08/2009 17:14

I had a moment of catharsis yesterday and it really helped me. I am with love-of-my-life DH, but I had a relationship years before I met him that really hurt me.

I hardly ever think about the ex, but yesterday for some reason I thought, I wonder what X is doing now? I had heard he got married some years ago, but nothing since. Well, the thought that came into my head straight away was: he has messed up his marriage too, they have split up after a series of horrible fights, and now he is a bitter part-time dad with anger issues.

Is it horrible of me to think this? The problem is, the more I imagine that scenario, the more I am convinced that it is quite likely to have happened. I have no contact with him and really don't want to know whether it's true. But it made me feel better just thinking, I made the right decision to split from him when I did.

Do others imagine similar outcomes for ex-boyfriends? Or is it just me?

OP posts:

RumourOfAHurricane · 29/08/2009 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BitOfFun · 29/08/2009 20:49

Oh come on Shiney- we need some salacious ex stories: if anyone's got them, it'd be you

RumourOfAHurricane · 29/08/2009 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

weegiemum · 29/08/2009 20:54

Never shagged my gay ex! I was a Good Christian Girl, and he was nervous (already gay I reckon!)

Come on shiney!! Salacious stories!

BitOfFun · 29/08/2009 21:00

BitOfFun · 29/08/2009 21:01

Oh, and don't mention Christians to Shiney...

Harimosmummy · 29/08/2009 21:04

I only have one Ex... He is now happily married with two kids.

We are friends on FB

We never stopped being friends, we just weren't right for each other.

He met the woman (now his wife) right for him and I met the man (now my husband) right for me.

I still have loads of love and respect for him, and wish him all the best in the world and would help in an instance if there is anything he ever needed.

but I don't (and never did) love him like I love DH.

TrillianAstra · 29/08/2009 21:06

One now looks like Sylar off Heroes (According to his Facebook profile).

As far as I know none have kids yet.

eandh · 29/08/2009 21:06

first proper byfriend (the one I first slept with) havent seen him in 10+ years hpwever see his sister now and again (she ignores me!) and saw his weirdo dad years ago when I was pg with dd1 and he came into the bank where I work to open an account (I was far to pg to move) he always creeped me out and still did then (apaprently asked lots of questions about me )

Another one is quite high up in police (and still see him around and he is still a smug bastard but divorced now) although he did comment on how pretty the dd's were

Another one is travelling around the world with his stunning girlfriend teaching diving and his parents ended up moving about 8 doors away frommy parents however lovely bloke and lovely family so really pleased for him

and loads of others but no desire to know whta they are up to

Original poster

Ponymum · 29/08/2009 21:12

In case you think I am vindictive I should add that I am not just being mean when I say that the imagined broken marriage outcome is quite likely. He had really serious self-hatred and anger issues to do with things his dad had done to him when he was young. When we split he promised to get counselling. When I heard he was engaged I called him for a drink and he told me he "never actually had the counselling as he was too scared. When I asked how that would affect his fiancee in the future he said he never talked about those things with her so it would never come up and therefore wouldn't affect their marriage".

I actually do feel sad when I think about it, but I know it's not my responsibility anymore. It would be nice to think he got the counselling and sorted things out, but I doubt that happened.

I hope I haven't brought the thread down with this sad tale - oh for a gay ex!!!

OP posts:

Purplepanettone · 29/08/2009 21:12

We all know what Shiney's ex will be doing - have a bathe and looking forward to a couple of sardines for supper.

Purplepanettone · 29/08/2009 21:13

ppppprobably, that is.

FourArms · 29/08/2009 21:16

I got together with DH when I was 17, so no other serious ex-boyfriends apart from one. I'm still in touch with him on FB! In fact, I've got most of my ex-boyfriends on FB, and of the last 3, 2 have turned out to be gay. Not really sure how to feel about that!

2rebecca · 29/08/2009 21:18

I don't, I have better things to think about.

BitOfFun · 29/08/2009 21:21

FourArms, take option 2)

BlueFlotsam · 29/08/2009 21:29

Well mine is a sad story.

I was forced to break up with him as my parents thought he wss not 'suitable'!!

When my mum died I suppose I felt that my promise was kind of fulfilled.. I felt released from it.

Although I thought I was happily married I still searched for him via Friends Reunited etc. I swear I thought/expected he would be a happily married man/grandfather. My intentions were not romantic I'm sure.

Unfortunately I discovered he had died in an accident at his place of work many years ago.

We had said we would be friends but we lost touch as I moved away. I dont think (but am not 100% sure) that I wanted anything more than to know he was fine but when I found out he had died I was absolutely floored.

Thing is, I used to have recurring dreams where I walked the streets of my home town looking for him. Once I knew he had died I never had those dreams again.

I still think he was/would have been/ my soulmate.

BitOfFun · 29/08/2009 21:30

EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 29/08/2009 21:32

god, mine works for unicef and runs marathons and generally maintains his aura of perfection. he was a sweetie.

steaknife · 29/08/2009 21:36

Just found out my college BF,a brief but intense fling, is getting married next week. Couldn't be happier for him.

monkeyfacegrace · 29/08/2009 21:43

My ExH is living in his parents converted garage, with an increasing expanding waistline from the take aways and smoking 20 a day. Mmmm attractive, cant believe I let that one go....

MarthaFarquhar · 29/08/2009 21:45

after seeing this thread, I had a quick google.

One of my exes is now a published zombie horror author . a review of the novel on the book jacket states, "rough, filthy, and completely brilliant". When we went out only 2 of those were true.

BitOfFun · 29/08/2009 21:46

hahahaha

wheniwishuponastar · 29/08/2009 21:58

wow some amazing stories on here. not sure mine will live up to it, but anyway

boy from school - now is a city trader living on a tropical island
boy from school - ran away to australia
- living on canvey island as a deputy head teacher
working as a neuroscientist in california
broke my heart - but got in touch with me on facebook recently and apologied (about 15 years after the event)
school hunk who everyone adored. now an alcoholic and agraphobic (sp?)
saw him recently playing the lead in rocky horror picture show
now has a doctorate and is writing a book for the publisher i work for
seems to be happily married
seems to be happily married with two kids, bored with his architect's job apparently (?!)
has two kids

that's all i can remember so far...!

Schrodinger · 29/08/2009 21:59

I know exactly what he's doing. I've been stalking him on FB.

beanybean · 29/08/2009 22:05

Schrodinger - I'm a FB stalker too! I have a morbid fascination with what he's doing and the fact that I know what he's up to but he doesn't know I know. We went out for a long time when I had just turned 18. I only found out after we split up he had cheated on me over and over when we were together (and not used condoms), plus had lied about how his mum had died and told me he had killed someone while on duty (in forces) - also a lie. He's back in the forces now and married. I feel sorry for her - as I expect he's doing the same to her.

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