Come and tell me about growing up with a younger brother, whether your experience or that of your dcs

[Pinkjenny]

I have deliberately not put this in AIBU, mainly because IABU, but I am pg with dc2, which we found out yesterday is a ds. I already have a dd, aged 2.3yo.

I am ashamed to admit that I am a bit disappointed that it is a boy. I am an only child, and would have loved a sister, and I really wanted dd to have a sister. I have this ridiculous ideal of her growing up with her sibling, playing together and sharing a childhood and still being close as adults, and I never imagined her doing all that with a brother. I would stress that my only child status alllows me this ignorance.

Dd was very insistent that she was getting a baby sister, and I feel in some way I have let her down, like I've bought the wrong Christmas present or something.

Does anyone have any experiences that might make me feel better about it? Or perhaps offer a slap in the chops and tell me to get a life?

I have a younger brother who I get on v well with . I also have an older dd and wanted a second girl for her. At scan, I was alos disappointed to be told I was having a boy as was my dd (who was 3 at time). I ahve to say now that I am so glad I have a son. I love having one and my dd loves her little brother and actually sais to me yesterday that she wouldn't want a sister now as it would mean she didn't have (brother's name). I feel exactly the same way and you will too. I was glad I found out at scan as I would have been disappointed at birth but as I knew I was delighted at borth and loved him immediately. I took at least 3 months to bond with my 1st born (dd).

Pinkjenny, congratulations on your little boy!

I have a younger brother, 3 year gap, just the two of us, brought up by a single mum.

Sure, we fought like cats and dogs sometimes.
I taught him to read, he taught me more about football than I ever cared to know.
We played silly fantasy games on the old Nintendo console together waaay to late at night when we should have been in bed.
He disapproved of my first boyfriend on principle.
He just left last week after visiting me and DP with his girlfriend for a week.

He's one of my best friends and I love him to bits.

Glad we helped

DH has three sisters and I wouldn't swap them for my brother in a fit. Brothers are best

What a lovely thread

Nothing to add, you know I'm in the same position PJ and had similar feelings. Maybe its being an only child thing ??!

Anyway, congrats again from me x

Tils - Isn't it wonderful? We're having little boys. It always reminds me of Sex and the City when Carrie says to Miranda, "You're growing a teeny tiny penis inside you!"

I grew up with my brother (have 2 younger half brothers as well), there is 3 yrs between us. We are really close, used to squabble a bit but always good mates.
Good thing with being a big sister is that you can beat up little bruv and when he gets big enough to beat you up, he isn't allowed "as he is a boy"

My brother is really protective of myself and my Mom, very sensitive and kind. He does leave the loo seat up though.

I was disappointed for a wee while when I had 2 boys as I liked the balance that growing up in a mixed sibling household brought. But that didn't last, I know how lucky I am.

at "He does leave the loo seat up though"

And now I have 2 boys who do the very same thing, have beaten it out of DH though, so 1 down

Congratulations, btw

Aww PJ. I saw the thread and knew you'd be the OP! Like I said to you yesterday, it's disappointment for what you aren't having and now's the time to get excited about what you are having and these stories will all help. I can tell you a little about my brother if you like?

He's been to hell and back. I think I've touched on that before but won't bring it up here. He's seen things that no husband and father should. All through it I've been so pleased that we're as close as we are. The Christmas after my SIL died he couldn't face celebrations so we ignored the holidays, he came to mine and sat on the sofa. We talked a bit. He cried a lot. I held his hand and he slept like a baby in a ball on the sofa. We've spent long hours on the phone into the early hours when he hasn't wanted to sleep, he has phoned me to tell me he saw a funny thing and thought of me, he buys me random things (a picture of a pig last week) because he thinks they'll make me smile.

We fought as children, doesn't everybody? He's reckless and impulsive and maudlin and politically challenged but he's the best sibling I could have asked for.

Tomorrow we're taking our children out for the day. I guarantee at some point he will put an arm around me while we watch them and comment that it reminds him of when we played together many years ago. And I'll quietly burst with pride.

Your dd is one lucky little girl if she loves her db as much as I love mine.

Aw Noteven, that made me cry.

Off to phone my brother

I have 3 brothers, two older and one younger. I am very, very close to all my brothers. My younger brother and I, being very close in age, have a teriffically strong bond. In fact he is one of the main reasons I wanted to have another child so my eldest would have a sibling. I couldn't imagine not wanting my daughter to have a sibling relationship.

As children we played together constantly. I would boss him around like my little minion! He adored me. He also drove me crackers, and I was terribly mean to him, but in a loving sisterly way....

I always looked out for him and wanted to look after him. I still do. He will always be 'my little bro'. But now he is a grown man and a foot taller than me, so he looks after me too.

Sometimes we squabble. Sometimes we fall out. Sometimes he annoys the crap out of me, and I know I irritate him endlessly, but in my little brother I have someone who will ALWAYS be on my side, and understand exactly where I'm coming from and why, no matter what. We have the shared experiences of growing up together with the same (mad) parents. We don't even have to finish sentences. I can read him like a book, and vice versa.

If something is wrong he can hear it in the first "hello" on the phone.

It's a bit like... I LOVE my husband. Totally, utterly. I love him. I like him. I adore him. I want to be with him always. BUT... the love I have for my husband is different to the completely overwhelming love I have for my children, which sort of trandscends a silly word like 'love' and is just what I am. The love I have for my brothers almost has more in comon with the love I have for my children. It is not reasoned or because we share an interest in geology or country and western music. It just IS. My love for my brothers makes up a part of the person I am, and nothing could ever make it stop.

Trees - you are wonderful, I believe my mum even called you "profound" yesterday.

Loving all the love on this thread and may even venture some ((hugs))

thatsnotmybelly at your post

Does your Mum drink PJ?

I do wish you'd learn to take a compliment.

Never. You've met me now too. Your opinion of me should slowly be changing until you realise the full truth. I'm dull. And waffly. Still, good at puzzles.

Can't put it any better than thatsnotmybelly has really.

I can understand your disappointment though because you had built a certain expectation up in your head.

I have a younger brother and sister and am close to both but probably have more in common with my brother re interests and personality. There's more of an age gap between me and my brother than my brother and sister and the 2 of them shared alot of friends when younger. I find it odd that some people would expect me to be closer to my sister than my brother just because we're the same sex. I probably had more in common with my dad than my mum though.

FGS, I am sobbing at this thread thinking about my lovely DB and my amazing DS! PJ, it's going to be wonderful.

Ahem, this is getting positively unmumsnetty.

I have an older brother and have always adored him. We are really close and always have been - despite him teasing me to death as a child. He always looked out for me when we went clubbing and was fantastic at giving boyfriend advise! I couldn't imagine my life without him.