DH and I have been married for 4 years. We have a 2 and a half year old DS and I am 21 weeks pregnant with our DD.
He has a good job, I am a SAHM, we have a nice house, 2 cars and 2 rabbits.
It's all perfect - except DH treats me like a glorified housekeeper come nanny.
We've joked for years about the fact that he never tells me about nights out etc to the point where his mates now text me to tell me about nights out I'm invited to cause they know he won't tell me. I've always put it down to him being forgetful.
But recently there have been 3 things that have really gotten to me...
The first was a the weekend before last when he went to Berlin for 4 days. The trip didn't bother me, he goes every year but this year I invited my Mum to stay with us while he was away cause I've had low blood pressure and felt I needed some help with DS as I've been getting really tired and headachey and dizzy. I've also got a low lying placenta and have been told to take things easy. DH did text but only in response to texts I sent him asking how he was doing. Luckily, I was busy with Mum and DH so I didn't have time to get upset. He said he was bringing presents home - and turned up with 2 glasses he'd got free with McDonalds meals!!
Then, last Friday was our 4th wedding anniversary. I'm fed up of being the one to organise anything romantic we do so I told him I was leaving it up to him this time. On the day, I e-mailed him at work to ask if I should cook as "there is no point me cooking this chicken if you're whisking me off for a romantic meal". He replied with "cook it" so I did. We had our meal then he gave me my present - a paperback of a book called "Devil Bones" (crime) with the 3 for 2 sticker still stuck to the front! Then his Mum turned up with flowers and a new vase - just in case all of my vases were already full - Ha!
We had a massive row that night and i told him how I felt. He started off not getting it and saying that it was only an anniversary and not a special day! but eventually he (tearfully) said he realised he'd been lazy and he really did love us. It wasn't about the presents but the total lack of thought or romance. He knows it's important to me.
Things have been a bit strained since. I've told him I would like to do something to make up for our anniversary and he said we would do that. I'm still quite raw though and will admit to putting up a bit of a brick wall. He's been very kissy and cuddly but as I'm not feeling the same.
Then this morning, one of his mates messaged me on Facebook to ask if DH and I were going to another friends anniversary party. DH hadn't even told me about it! I mailed him at work and he said he was going to go with his mate and wasn't bothered about taking DS. No mention of me at all. When I asked, he said didn't think I'd fancy a long car drive to see people I hardly know. I replied and said that I was an adult and could make those decisions myself if given the information! His mate is taking his son and said he was only doing so because it was a family party with lots of kids there - my DH is acting like he doesn't even have a family!
So I'm in tears again cause once again it feels like I'm only good for staying home and looking after his son while he lives his life like a single man. He may not be out every night but when he is home he does very little but make mess and play on his PC. He does play with his son but even that seems to be more and more begrudged.
He's a great father and provider and I love him very much and appreciate he works hard for long hours but I really feel like a glorified Au Pair. There's just no romance anymore. He doesn't even seem to want to kiss me unless he fancies sex!
So what do I do? Right now, I'm considering running off to my Mum's (a 3 hour drive away) just to shock him but that wouldn't help us talk and I'm guesing that's what we need. I'm just feeling so used and angry