would you be happy for your dh not to work in the following circumstances?

[hambler]

I will try to be brief.
I worked my butt off in my 20s and 30s and built a successful business that kind of runs itself now - I work 3 long days a week.Very stressful, but only 3 days. Now in late 40s
DH and I have been tog 15 y , 3 kids. I had made a lot of money when we met. He had debts which I paid off.

He has never had a decent job. Was a kind of default househusband when kids young. (ie my job paid all the bills - ha had no job)
He had part time job for 5 years, took voluntary redundancy
Great with kids, ok at house stuff. He watches a LOT of telly We rumble along fairly happily. Sometimes less so. Everything I earn goes in a joint account which he freely spends

I am pretty easy going, he is very uptight.

I recently went on one of those examine your life type weekends (not my thing but a friend of friend dropped out and i took her place). Now I feel a lightbulb has gone on in my head and I feel like a mug and a meal ticket.

For the first time I am really questioning the reationship based on the financial foundation. I realise ours is an exact transposition of many husband/ wife set ups and I would never question the typical SAHM mum's position.

But I am feeling taken for a ride
I have changed a couple of details to protect the innocent

HELP

For me it cuts both ways gender wise. I must admit thinking that once dcs reach school age then unless dcs have special needs SAH parent(usually mum) should try to work at least part time.

Because I feel it's a burden on breadwinner and roles get too polarised.

I know someone who works her butt off whilst her dh works in an industry where you get long dry spells and he won't do just anything to get money (which they really need). She's a bit martyred about it but I think he is taking the piss.

But then I'm a hard bitten old bag who has always worked,since dcs little, (exh and I both worked) and as single parent now will have to continue. It has given me an insight into how it feels to be sole breadwinner though and I would resent it if I had a partner who didn't help out financially if they could.

agree with Dittany's questions. But I would be wary of putting too much emphasis on how others perceive your DH's not working, particularly given that it will have been helpful having him SAH when kids were very younger.