married male friend

[solanum]

How can I develop my friendship without getting his wife worried?I am married too.I do not want to develop a friendship with his wife-I do not even know her-I like him as a friend, but how can I meet him without giving off the wrong signals andpushing him away?Before I was married I used to have male friends, butnowIfeel thatpeople assumeyou mustbe afteran affair if you try to see a member of the opposite sex who is married.

ohhh yes, skid

the object of this lady's "attentions" may not actually find them welcome

curiouser and curiouser !!

mrsb, I just wanted to say I always look out for your posts and you are quite fab

I don't mean I deliberately want to exclude the partner, I just find it so boring to have to only have "foursome" meetings, when you have not really got such a friendship, nor really should you have to force yourself to be on an equally friendly footing as the partner: I just think there is too much distrust going on and I am really shocked at the responses on here. Now I see that there are an awful lot of insecure women out there, who themselves seem not to understand that a male friend can be a good thing and that some women actually find it unnatural to only have females being allowed to asociate wit other females.This is not thwe Victorin era.
People seem to accept that men and women can work alongside each other- what is wrong with the social parallel to that?

Yep well I agree with you

So the question is: What prompted your OP? Do you have any reason to think that his wife is worried?

< jumps out of skin >

sola, there is nothing wrong with the scenario you give

what people were picking up on is your apparent plan to deliberately exclude his wife and, presumably, your husband

why ?

some friendships do develop along those lines, especially those forged through work, but I would be suspicious of your motives in the situation you describe

lol @ Anyfucker jumping

I know MP, it fair shook me up that surprise reappearance

Who said anything about foursome meetings?

I trust myself fine to be unaccompanied in male company, but I'm not interested in being targetted for friendship by someone who wants to get me alone.

It's so unsociable and a bit peculiar.

I used to mostly have male friends but as everyone's got older and got married it's become harder and harder. I assume their wives will think there's something going on between us so I don't bother. It's a shame really. I get on better with men than women, generally.

jaysus OP - I don't think anyone said that there was anything dodgy about men and women being friends or suchlike, it is the planning to exclude her from the offset that strikes a odd note, how do you know she will be boring? why do you even think she will be foisted on you? why has it occured to you?

the thing that sounds odd is not that you want not be friends or better friends with him, it is that you made it sound like you had another agenda when you set the whole post in the context of exclusing her without making her think there is something going n.

Perhaps it is just the way you err come across..

/checks for other mrsbs on thread
/sees none
/is chuffed

thank you AF

Sorry - not read the whole thread (too tired) but you need to turn this around... If a woman wanted to spend time with your dh but wanted to exclude you, I think you would be suspicious.

It isn't wrong to be friends with a married man - but you WANT to exclude the wife and, whether you like it or not, that will make her think that something is going on.

If it makes her unhappy then it is wrong.