why did i do this?

[Fio2]

get drunk, find my dads phone number and ring him, why why why

I'm so glad I don't get drunk...otherwise I might be guilty of doing a bit of that as well! What happened Fio? Hope you're ok!

Argghh - the evils of drink! Are you ok?

xxx

Because you're human?

what did he say?

I left a message sayting can you ring me back

my husband rang and said we really need to talk, we know you have sold the company for over 400k after giving fio 5k for her share in it. What has happened to fio's sisters share? and how on earth was it signed into your name? If you dont ring us back it will be in the hands of our solicitor

the phone has rang three times this morning with a witheld no.

what was i on???

also my mum has rang me in tears frightened he is going to go round her house god I am not responsible for my own actions

your well within your rights to ask honey...yes you were drunk, but it wasnt something irrelevent or nasty...he has probably been expecting it TBH!

Fio, you are responsible for your own actions, but you're not responsible for his! If your mum's frightened he's going to go round there, that's his fault not yours.

With any luck he will realised that going round there ranting and raving is going to reflect very badly on him in court.

Good for you - someone has to stand up to people like this. And you'll often find they cave in quicker than you think. They're so used to getting their own way by bullying that it really knocks them for six when someone stands up to them.

anorak is right - it could be a positive thing in the end. It's hardly an unreasonable thing to say to him in the circumstances even though he is evidently a madman.

could your mum come and stay with you?

I really hope you can get something sorted out and get this man out of your life, fio.

she works SP. She is coming down at the weekend. She said to me this morning, my life is a mess and you are so far away i felt awful for ringing him and making her feel like this.

Lou33 said to sit down and write him aletter as he needs to be aware of how we feel about this. I think it is a good idea actually as I dont think it is a good idea to talk to him on the phone as he doesnt talk at all. Thanks everyone for your comments. I cant believe I have made my already complicated life even more complicated. Do you think any men would adopt me as a grown up daughter?

he has sent me a letter

Louise (his slag) has played the messages that both you and your husband left on her answering machine, can you not ring her again.

My solicitors are xxxxx

Please do not refer to me as "dad" as your actions in the past have made it quite clear that I have ceased to be that for some considerable tim, and it is a position I will not be applying for in future..

I must say that after listening to your first message and being told that you had rang several times, i was about to call you because i thought you were in trouble and needed help - i should have trusted my first instinct. i genuinely feel sorry for the person you ahve become.

The actions that I have taken have been on the knowledge that in my eyes you are no longer my daughter. i willd efend my claim on these grounds

I stupidly rang him up crying, saying what are you trying to do to me i am so foolish

Message withdrawn

does he live with 'louise'? if so how is it 'her' answer machine

unless you have any legal grounds to get more money out of him, which if you signed your shares over for £5K I don't htink you will have despite the amount of money he has made then I'd just avoid him - he doesn't sound like he's worthy of any more of your time

(sorry don't know whole story - but wanted to lend my support some way)

Message withdrawn

its her house. She had an affair with a rich married man and got pregnant and he paid her off before he died

Thats really horrible . Poor you. Dont know the history to this, but what an awful thing for him to say to you.

Message withdrawn

i amn not even interested in his bloody money, i just wanted to shit him up. Seemed like a good idea at the time as I was drunk. Instead he has just turned me into a crying fucking mess

gosh fio, that's terribly brutal. you poor thing.

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're so upset. My Dad 'disowned' me too (although now he's doing the poor victim act), it is heartbreaking that someone who should love you unconditionally can be such a selfish sh*t. I just stay well away from mine, they're not worth the aggravation or the energy Fio.

How about writing him back along the lines of:

We apologise for attempting to contact the sperm donor through 'Louise' answering machine, I did not realise aforesaid 'sperm donor' was only a lodger in this house, but now that has been clarified it makes sense .

Thank you for the contact details of your solicitor, that will be very useful to us in the future.

Do not worry about any reference to your 'paternal status', you are in our view unworthy of the name 'father' and it is clear from your actions in the past that you have not wished to be a father for some considerable time.

You do not have the right nor the need to 'feel sorry for the person' I have become as I am a happy, settled and fulfilled woman with a loving, close family. It is a shame that the same cannot be said of you.

With regards to monies outstanding, you cannot dissolve our relationship unilaterally nor retrospectively but that is obviously a matter for the courts. It is unfortunate that this could not be settled without the need for legal bills but so be it.

Yours sincerely

Fio2

if you do decide to write to him, put 'without prejudice' at the top of the letter - that'll put the wind up him - it means you aren't prejudicing any legal case you may have by contacing him by letter

I started writing a letter that was quite heartfelt, i was crying when i wrote it. But my computer crashed before I saved it maybe that was a sign

I am still shaking and I feel so upset

so you just put 'without predjudice' in the corner

Fio, don't write to him. You're just giving him more opportunity to hurt you. And he'll do just that.

It's a big sorrow when a parent turns out to be such disappointment - we grow up virtually hero-worshipping our parents and blaming ourselves for our inability to please them.

But at the end of the day they are just ordinary people. It doesn't take any kind of life or parenting skill to father a baby so it stands to reason that someone will be the unlucky one who has a complete t*at for a father. You were randomly unlucky, don't search for ways to put it right, you can't.

Don't write to him, just sue him and get back what belongs to you.