why did i do this?

[Fio2]

get drunk, find my dads phone number and ring him, why why why

anorak am I realy that vile

not saying you made me out to be! I just meant he's an arse

apparentlky he has someone follow me on prvate investigation thing , I feel so sick

do i come across like that then? all i ever si is do good by people, i am very honst and genuine

I don't understand why you're saying this about yourself? Of course you're not vile or horrible, what made you say that?

its all this 'feel bad about the person you have become" al I ever do is try and look after my kids

anorak, sorry about the messages after your post they werent aimed at you i am just rambling

I didn't say I thought you felt bad about yourself. Just that the way he has carried on has hurt you and messed up your head in the past.

It's everybody's natural instinct to try and please their parents, and when the parents turn out to be unscrupulous and uncaring a battle rages inside their son or daughter. You want to please a parent but with this kind you never will because they are the one at fault. So it's enormously difficult and upsetting for you.

I had the same thing with my mother. I still feel I 'ought' to be a certain way even though she has been dead for 12 years nearly.

It's hard to untrain your emotions to be clinical about your own parent but when the person is like your dad you'll never win.

But in no way was I implying that I think you feel bad about yourself. Why should you. Rather, you feel bad about him. And quite naturally too.

I just don't want you to expose yourself to him again because I don't want him to have opportunities to stick the knife in any more.

Posts crossed. Ramble away. That's what we're here for.

no anorak, you really help me, because you help me see how he is. Like I see how your ex is with your daughters and I feel protacetive towards them do ykwim? except it still fucking hurts, i feel like why the hell should he still upset me and why should he dictate my life. i try to be thebest for my kids I can. i feel like I am 'hard' to people and I most probably come across like that but its becaus i cant tolerate shit anym,ore do ykwim? god I am going on

my husband says forget, i dont think i can, i feel like i want to teavh himlesson and what does that make me

and I am sorry for rambling

and i feel disappointed that i left myself wide open for this abuse off him, it is my own fault as I should have just left well alone

Fio this is what staggers me about this site. Something serious and dreadful that you are going through. Sounds totally awful but you are still trying to buck me up on another thread with a minor and quite frankly stupid concern.

You're amazing I think. Your 'dad' doesn't deserve you anyway.

I think you'd feel better if you taught him a lesson, ie by going to court. What does it make you? A non-dormat. There is nothing bad or evil about taking him to court. He has done something wicked to you and deserves it. The fact is, that by not doing anything about it you enable him to carry on doing these things. Take action and he will think twice next time. Besides which you will get back what belongs to you, and so you should.

If you go through with it it will be hard but it will make you feel vindicated and you will not allow anyone else to treat you like this in the future.

Fio, think you should get legal advice, what an awful thing to do to your daughter! Private Investigators following you???? Jeez!