Met someone new, does he sound ok to you?

[brazenhussy]

Ok, so I have joined an online dating site for the first time ever.

Emailed lots of men and some sounded nice enough, others ideal and some really weird; usual story I suppose.

The first guy to message me was 37, never married, no kids and said he loved my pic and told me a bit about himself. We had absolutely nothing in common and he was short (a complete deal breaker for me)and on paper sounded completely unsuitable but his email was interesting and funny.

We sent a single email each day just really saying 'how is your search going?' and exchanging funny stories about the people who had contacted us.

Two weeks ago we had a conversation over about 10 emails and I realised I really liked him

Since then we have been texting each other a couple of times during the day and MSNing at night til the early hours. He is so funny and interesting with impeccable manners and old fashioned values.

The thing that has struck me about him is that he won't allow the conversation to become flirty and quickly changes the subject if I do. This is so alien to me.

Anyway last night the conversation drifted to him telling me he had only ever had one sexual partner He said that he wouldn't have admitted that to anyone but felt that he could tell me anything. I asked him why that was and he said that growing up in the 80's with Aids and HIV had made him causious and then he had only had one long term relationship in his adult life.

I told him that it didn't matter to me but that I was a very sexual person and asked if he was too.He said that he hadn't really had the oppotunity to find out but that sex was a very long way down the line for us as he believes in waiting til the relationship is solid and 'going somewhere' before indulging.

Now this guy has his own house (bought as a shell and he has completely rebuilt it)a good job and many hobbies that he is passionate about.

He wants to get the train up to see me on Monday (that's another thing, he doesn't drive ) and is very excited at seeing my city and getting to know me better.

Does he sound ok to you?
Am I the odd one thinking that all men want sex whether in or out of a relationship?
Why has he only had sex with one person although has had a couple of other girlfriends?
Am I going to look like a right slapper if I flirt with him?

Help ladies

BH - text me. I want to know exactly when he is meeting you and then all about it after.

Well, maybe not all the details

Hi everyone,

Well had a really wonderful day with new man yesterday
We talked solidly for the whole day, lunched, strolled around the city and he is lovely.

I was a little unsure as to exactly how he felt about me because he was very shy and nervous but when I arrived home I found he had sent me the most amazing email saying that he found it difficult to talk about his feelings but I was everything he had hoped I would be and more.

I am so glad I met him and not dismissed him as I nearly did.

We have texted quite a bit today and the conversation has become a little flirty (he says he was just very out of practice!) so that has put my mind at rest.

Just wanted to share that with you all

Awwww

yay

so glad it all turned out well for you brazenhussy

Thank you so much everybody

Well I have always been crap at judging people and never seem to see things in people that are obvious to others. I make assumptions and am easily led.

BUT...
I am so glad I went with my gut instinct on this one - 3rd date planned for tomorrow and I permanently look like this

He is so lovely and sensitive and his reserved nature makes him soooo sexy!!

Good news is, he was genuinely just out of practise with dating; we shared an amazing tender snog last night and his texts are becoming more flirty that mine!!

Will still be gutted if he's got a small one but may have to make allowances

pmsl at 'small one'

awww, ive gone all gooey reading this. And i thought romance was dead.

Have you been to his place yet?

way hey foxy lady sounding good!
soo pleased to hear
keep us posted!

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy - no we had a meal and a walk along the seafront

I doubt I could trust myself

Just skimmed through this BH, but he sounds really lovely. How refreshing. I joined a dating agency about a year ago and was amazed how many genuine people there are out there. A year on I am married, although not to anyone I met on line. I married my next door neighbour!!!!

stripeytiger - what a waste of the joining fee when he was living next door all the time

It's lovely to hear some happy stories

Hello - Update

Well he spent the weekend at mine this weekend because Ex Hubby had the DC and we were both off on Monday.

I offered him my bed and said I would sleep in DD2's bed because I was happy for him to set the pace of the relationship.

He kept telling me how lucky he felt having met someone so understanding and loving and he told me a little more about his past relationship and the problems that had arisen around sex.

So...

On Saturday night we were kissing on the sofa and he just said he thought we would be more comfortable upstairs
I tried to be very laid back about it and asked him if he was sure (by this time I just wanted him naked and horizontal but played it cool )

and...

He's not gay!
He's not impotent
He's not got hang ups
nd he's got a very generous willy!!!!

So all in all he's just lovely

Flipping heck

Really pleased for you - he sounds wonderful.... although to be fair, all I can currently focus on is the fact that he has a very generous todger How fab.

Awww I've got a tear in my eye after all that (I mean a tear like a salty water droplet, not a rip). Congrats on finding someone so lovely. I hope you go from strength to strength.

Is he apprehensive about the DC at all or is he cool (thinking: previously childless, may be nervous)?

You know what everyone - if I was a man I would find all these posts quite offensive - all the emphasis on having a big willy, being "up for it", not giving a shit about what someone really wants, or who that person really is. Not really caring about where another person is coming from, or bothering to find out what they are really like. ie: they have a big willy - great.

Now transfer that to a bunch of men speaking (theoretically) - "yeah, she is great, she has huge tits and a tight ***, shame she is fat - such a deal breaker for me." ie (subtext) don't give a shit about who she is, her background, what she is really like, it's all about ME, ME, ME.

Sorry, but the "ladette" culture is so offensive. I'm glad I'm not a man, I think I would find it really hard to find a woman even remotely attractive. They are either control freaks or just SO judgemental

wildandfree - I guess you fall into the 'so judgmental' camp?

BH, glad it's all working out for you!!

Thank you

triggerhappybaby - he's not daunted by my kids at all. He says he knows he has a lot to learn and is happy to do his best. He says that he knew if he started a new relationship at his age, the chances are it would be someone with children.
I am the more cautios one. I only seperated from their dad 9 months ago and don't want to give them anything else to think about yet.

wildand free - a lot of what was said was said in jest, like on a girly night out. If you knew me and my history you would have a better idea as to where I was coming from. Obviously I 'give a shit about who he is, his background and what he is really like' otherwise we would never have got to this stage, he wouldn't have held my interest long enough for us to take our relationship further.
Incidentally I am sure a lot of men would be intimidated, insulted or offended by lots that is posted on here, just as many woman are. That's the point of the forum; to discuss