Do I have to put up with my DH looking at porn? Is this just normal?

[peggysuegotmarried]

Have just found that once again my DH has spent the evening (last night) looking at pornwhilst I was asleep. This happened previously and we had a big fight when I found out and he said it would never happen again. It has. AIBU to mind about this - is this something that most men do when they have some free time and think they won't get caught? Our sex life has been a bit crap recently post baby but even so....
Would like to hear what other people think and what they would do/have done about this....
Makes me feel very crap and unsexy as I already feel down about my post natal body

sayithowitis - exactly.

But sayithowitis, in order to "respect" her wishes, he's going to have to stop looking at porn. He doesn't want to, so instead he sneaks about in the small hours when the OP is asleep so as not to upset her. Would it be better if he did it in her company?

don't have time to get into the usual debate but want to put the other side to all this porn flag-waving. After that I'm off.

Peggysue

Lots and lots of men don't look at porn.
They don't look at porn because they believe it is - at the very least - objectifying both to the individual women filmed, and more broadly to women in general because of the attitudes which it disseminates.
They know that the 'tone' of porn is rarely neutral (ie people enjoying fucking each other) and in fact is becoming increasingly contemptuous of and violent towards women.
They know that many women in the porn industry are there under varying degrees of duress.
Since the ones who are there under duress do not wear a sign alerting users to that fact, these men would rather avoid it altogether than risk perpetuating abuse.

Despite this thread, many many women feel as you do. Others have fallen for the clever canard that being anti-porn is being anti-sex, but in fact they are two quite separate things. It is quite possible to be sexually at ease without wanting to support the porn industry, which is by no means the happy-whore, HIV-checked paradise that many would like you to believe.

It's a mistake to think that there is a connection with your sex life. It's not your fault, it's his choice. He's choosing to ignore your discomfort with it.

So no, you don't have to put up with it.