MIND: mental health of men in the recession

[EvenBetaDad]

I want to draw everyone's attention to the MIND (mental health charity) campaign this week on the deterioration in the mental health of men due to the recession.

The campaign is called 'Get it of Your Chest' and here is little bit of what they say on their website.

"Mind week is now in full swing, and we?ve just launched important new research into men and mental health. The findings paint a troubling picture:

37 per cent of men are feeling worried or low
men account for 75 per cent of suicides
only 23 per cent of men would see their GP if they felt low for over a fortnight
men were only half as likely to talk to friends about problems as women
31 per cent of men would feel embarrassed about seeking help for mental distress."

I was unsure whether to post this in Dadsnet or Mental Health section but I feel this is something that women need to be very vigilant for and there have been quite a few posts from women recently on MN talking about sudden depression in their DH/DP or him working very long hours and how it is affecting their relationship. I often feelng reading the posts that incredible stress at work and loss of perspective is at the heart of many of the problems.

I feel that women have a very important role to play here in identifyng the early warnng signs, stress, loss of perspective about work, irritability, inreasing levels of alcohol consumption. Getting DH/DP to realise what is happening and getting medical help is really crucial.

The story is being carried by main new channels today including the BBC and also of course the MIND website.

Men (and women of course) are under immense pressure in the workplace with firms displacing the financial pressure on to their workforce. I do not dismiss the mental health impact on women, however, men seem to be particulalrly badly affected and I suspect that is because they are still more often sole breadwinners and men feel they bear the burden of providing for their family the most keenly. Facing constant threats of redundancy or simply unbearable pressure to deliver impossible targets at work it is likely that many men are under great stress. Some will crack and slip into a depressive illness.

Men are also far less likely to talk about emotional issues and or seek medical help. Most just try and soldier on - trying to ignore the problem.

Although I have never suffered depression I have worked in the City and seen many friends relying on alcohol and other drugs to get through the day, suffered incredible levels of stress myself and worked ridiculous hours and lost all perspective at some point with work life balance going out of the window. It is an easy state for a man to slip into. Thankfully I realised what was happening and got out before it affected my mental health.

Anyway, I do encourage everyone to take a good look at their DH/DP and ask if he is showing any early signs of stress related illness or depression. He might not realise what is happening to him.

Thanks for that you make some good points there. My relationship is abusive and my P definetely kicks off more when he's under stress. Men can't really open up to their mates like women can,it's not the done thing really (in my experience anyway).

bump

And again

Ho hum. SO in addition to all the other ways in which women are supposed to service men, those of you in relationships are now to go 'there there dear, do you need to go to the doctors for some valium?' if Hubby starts bashing them for not having dinner ready, instaed of calling the police.
Stress is not a get-ouyt-of-jail-free card.

Good post Beta! This is a good point you've raised & will remind me to keep a "wifely eye" on DH and our friends etc.

Thanks Betadad

yet again we are on Depression alert (DH ahs had it seriosuly in the past, to attempted suicde level, still requires meds),this time as he has been amde redundant.

So all very real to uas I amafraid though looks good so far (but the form filling and reality will start to bit any mo I suspect, he's calling TC's ATM)

SGb mental illness does not equate a bashing

If it did hew would told to off fuck obviously

It doesn't though, not for us, and its pretty offensive to DH to equate the two

Solid, you're right it's no excuse for disrespect. Good men won't use their stress to bash their women. My P, however, is a twat.

what about womens mental health i the recession? why should men be singled out?

are they a superior being or something then?

Peachy - I agree.

Lets try and keep the issue of mental illness separate from the issue of spousal abuse.

They are not the same thing.

IloveTIFFANY - this is just a one week campaign by MIND that is focussing on men.

They are not saying men are special beings. I also said in my OP that "I do not dismiss the mental health impact on women, however, men seem to be particulalrly badly affected".

MIND do of course deal with women and mental health as well.

I was thinking about MN today when I saw a piece on the MIND report on this morning's news.

Several times recently I have gained the impression that men are not allowed to have emotional problems (or even emotions!)

I think your post makes it clear that depression can present differently in men - anger, irritability "sulkiness" - ways which can undoubtedly make family life very hard. My father has depression so I think I know what I'm talking about.

solidgold I don't think that OP was saying stress is a get-out-of-jail-card. And I don't think that caring about my partner is "servicing" him, any more than him caring about me is "servicing" me.

No I am not saying that anyone with mental health problems is likely to start assaulting his/her spouse. I am objecting to the tone of the OP which suggests that men's mental health is yet another of women's responsibilities. ('Your partner is stressed, because he's the breadwinner, stop asking him to put the bin out and give him a therapeutic blowjob').

Wow, solidgold, that's quite a stretch from what the OP said. Men's mental health isn't a responsibility of women. Looking out for each other is part of a relationship though, isn't it?

I'd say what the OP is saying is no different than someone taking a new father to one side and saying "Look, PND is a real risk for women after they've given birth. Do keep a close eye on your DP and if you think she's in trouble, try to gently encourage her to get some help." Or would you dismiss that, too?

If you want to make it out as men abdicating responsibilities then so be it, but I suspect your attitude here says a lot more about you than it does about either MIND's campaign or BetaDad's motives.

Snorbs - that is a good point about PND.

I cannot remember been given info any at all on it before DSs were born.

Yes, and the point about depression is that the person suffering can often not see it themselves, or be prepared to acknowledge it for what it is, even if they know something is wrong.

Snorbs: Well, why isn't the campaign along the lines of 'Men! DOn't be ashamed to seek help if you are feeling like shit. Here are the warning signs of mental health issues' etc rather than 'WOmen! Watch out for the man in your life because it's your duty to take care of him psychologically as well as domestically and sexually'.

Maybe because depression is something that is often first identified by those closest to the sufferer rather than the sufferer themselves.

As you seem to be having some difficulty understanding the motivation and reasons for this campaign, might I suggest you have a look at MIND's website and give your knee a bit of a rest from all this jerking? You might find the facts will temper your wild assumptions somewhat.

solidgold - not sure why you reacted to my OP this way. I agree with Snorbs.

Do you have a DH/DP? Would you not care about or want to help him if you thought he was becoming stressed, overworked and depressive? Would you not care about or want to help him if he was physically ill?

I did not mean to start an arguement - just thought it was a very useful week long campaign and posted a sort of 'thought for the day' in the difficult times we face. I felt it was relevant as I had seen a few threads on the issue recently by MN women about their DH/DP.

I have a male friend who is struggling with this issue. His DW may even be on MN and she did eventually spot the developing issue but far too late and is only now trying to persuade him to get help as he is using alcohol as a prop.

MIND might well do a campaign focussing on women or say single parents or children next week that will be just as relevant to MN.

EBD: I have in the past advised friends to seek help for what were clearly developing mental health issues. I have no problem with the idea of people looking out for each other. But have you ever seen a campaign targeted specifically at men telling them specifically to be aware of and take care of their partner's mental health like this? Men are not expeted to take responsibility for women's wellbeing in the way that women are expected to take responsibility for men's.

The MIND campaign is not telling women to look out for their man. However, I added that suggestion to my OP because I know men have less support and are less likely to seek help and I feel that a DW/DP is more likley to spot the signs and persuade and support a man in getting help than anyone else. Look at this quote from the MIND website:

"GP surgeries can sometimes feel as though they are geared towards women and there are many more groups dedicated to helping women through mental distress than there are for men."

I am not dminishing the impact of mental health issues on women. My own mother suffered from depression for many years.

Anyway - I hope my OP helps someone.

The MIND campaign is not telling women to look out for their man. However, I added that suggestion to my OP because I know men have less support and are less likely to seek help and I feel that a DW/DP is more likley to spot the signs and persuade and support a man in getting help than anyone else. Look at this quote from the MIND website:

"GP surgeries can sometimes feel as though they are geared towards women and there are many more groups dedicated to helping women through mental distress than there are for men."

I am not dminishing the impact of mental health issues on women. My own mother suffered from depression for many years.

Anyway - I hope my OP helps someone.

solidgold, again I suggest you actually read what MIND is saying.

MIND's campaign is two-fold: First they're raising awareness of the prevalence of male depression and the relative rarity of men seeking help for it. Part of this is to encourage men to talk about these kinds of problems.

Second, they're campaigning to encourage the Government to create a Men's Mental Health Strategy to help co-ordinate mental health services for issues that predominantly affect men, such as the shockingly high suicide rate amongst men in their late teens and early 20s.

(And, before your knee starts jerking again at the thought of something aimed at men and men alone, I'd better point out that there has been a Government-driven Women's Mental Health Strategy since 2004.)

MIND is not campaigning for women to take responsibility for male mental health, and this campaign most definitely is not targeted at women. Its primary target is men.

Again want to thank you for raising some good points.

snorbs made a very good point - "looking out for each other is part of a relationship isn't it?"

Yes it is..and anything that can raise awareness in mental health issues male or female is only a good thing.

Evenbetadad- raises the point that men are more likely to not ask for help and I agree.

If my DH is struggling he will try and pretend everything is ok, it is me that steps in and says actually no it is not...

And he now trusts me enough to say "ok lets sort it out"