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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What is wrong with MEN!!

44 replies

Janos · 01/05/2005 18:40

OK, not all men..before I get flamed. Just thought that was catchier.

I'm shocked and upset by so many of the stories on here. Men cheating on their wives, lying to them, stealing from them, physically abusing them, calling them vile names, walking out seemingly without any thought of responsibility for their children.

What the hell is wrong with them!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't quite know what the point of this thread is except to offer support.

OP posts:
sallystrawberry · 01/05/2005 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nikcola · 01/05/2005 18:43

they are selfish bastards and i balme there mothers too!!!!!!

Louise1980 · 01/05/2005 18:47

Well having only been cheated on once (that I know of) I dont no either. He got everything I could give but when I found out that was it. No second chances here!

I do not mean this to offend any1 but the women keep taking them back and giving more and more chances and I dont mean 2nd and 3rd, Im talking 7th n 8th! I have said this to my close friend who was giving her dp chance after chance.

Once they have done it and been taken back they think they will try again. Then it becomes a pattern.

I know this because I used to work for a serial cheater, I was expected to cover for him so I needed to info on b%&%rds like him. He actually sed "oh she will be p%ss*d off and I will sleep on the sofa for a while but she forgives me after a fortnight" The thing was she did!!!! Everytime!

Janos · 01/05/2005 18:47

I suppose we are just hearing about the 'bad' ones on here, but some of the stories have left me feeling quite despairing (sorry can't think of a better word atm), especially where children are involved.

OP posts:
tiptop · 01/05/2005 18:50

Can I say that my ds shows all the signs of being a loving, caring, faithful, loyal partner. He gives kisses and cuddles readily and says "I love you" when I say goodnight and is a gem. Oh, he's 11 years old, btw. Bad points...he loves football and various other sports. If he continues as he is, though, I think he'll be a great catch when he's older!

Whizzz · 01/05/2005 18:50

Here's 2 MAN classics from my DH (who I do love dearly but...)
Went out to a museum with DS today & he was sat on a seat with our coats & my handbag whilst I was playing with DS. He only got up & walked off leaving all our stuff unattended on the seats !
When we got home, DS managed to tip a dining chair backwards & fall off it, despite the fact that DH was sat right next to him but was so engrossed in his PC game that he didn't notice.
Just makes you go "AAARRRggghhhh - MEN!"

Donbean · 01/05/2005 18:53

What have clouds and men got in common?

Eventually they piss off and it becomes a nice day!

anniebear · 01/05/2005 21:48

I agree, but how many terible stories would you read about horrible women if there was a Fathers Net??!!

lavenderrr · 01/05/2005 21:49

why do you blame their mothers???????????????

anniebear · 01/05/2005 21:51

Presume their MIL are awful!!

heishardwork · 01/05/2005 21:53

i heard on a radio show the analogy of men and remote controls for the tv, even though they maybe watching something really rivetting (for them) they will still flic to see what else is on becuase they can and you never know whereas women would be happy to sit through ad breaks or a film without flicing
and in RL men are the same

not all thou must stand up for my dh

astonished · 01/05/2005 21:53

My Mil is awful and completely to blame!!

anniebear · 01/05/2005 21:54

Oh dear...I always flick when the ads are on!!!

lol

Kevlarhead · 01/05/2005 21:59

"I suppose we are just hearing about the 'bad' ones on here, but some of the stories have left me feeling quite despairing (sorry can't think of a better word atm), especially where children are involved."

Spot on. Some of the stuff I've read here made me want to track down the b*ards concerned and cripple them with a crowbar.

I try not to come in here, it's just bad for the blood pressure.

heishardwork · 01/05/2005 22:07

but anniebear
could you resist flicing?

Amberlilli · 01/05/2005 22:19

Yes I agree sometimes I read stories and just can't beleive what some women are prepared to put up with. Maybe it just seems clearer in black and white from an objective point of view.
Quite often I just think "there's no hope for this woman!" and retreat to another thread.

Incidentally my first husband cheated on me with another (younger) woman, I chucked him out, divorced him and now I've remarried.
I was also many years ago in a relationship with someone who hit me, just once, that was the end of him!!!

I appreciate that it is not always easy for women who are financially dependant on their dh/dp tp just leave, especially when children are involved.
But I really wouldn't have patience with someone who just kept forgiving and taking back some of the despicable characters we sometimes here about on here.

Janos · 02/05/2005 09:51

Some of these stories just break your heart. I know it's frustrating when you read them and think just get the B**tard out of your life FGS!!!!

But I know it's not always that simple when you are ground down by abuse.

OP posts:
Hermione1 · 02/05/2005 10:00

Its a design fault, i think, lol.

expatinscotland · 02/05/2005 10:25

'Blame their mothers'.

Hey, I thought adults were entirely responsible for how they behaved.

I'm w/Amberhill and Louise on this. I had parents who taught me that if I didn't respect myself, no one else was going to, either.

I've been broke, homeless, and alone after splitting up with men who cheated/lied/mistreated me, etc. But I always managed to get back on my feet b/c I knew I deserved better than some sad excuse for an adult with no self-control.

stitch · 02/05/2005 10:35

i think its true that we only hear about the bad ones on here.
my father used an analogy to help me cope better with my marriage. he said that its like the men and women are like two wheels of a bicycle. they both have different parts to play. but both are essential. just like yo cant have a bike with two front wheels, you cant have a marriage with bothpeople doing the same role. i think a lot of problems arise when women expect men to be women, and vice versa.
but i think some men are beyond hope anyways, as are some women...

snafu · 02/05/2005 10:36

I think 'blame their mothers' was a joke, wasn't it?

snafu · 02/05/2005 10:38

Ah but, stitch, both bike wheels need to be going in the same direction at the same time - and who's pedalling?

beansmum · 02/05/2005 10:49

and a unicycle works fine too!

motherofboys · 02/05/2005 10:51

As you can tell from my nickname I don't think I can endorse the "it is the mothers fault" idea
Men are simply from a different planet - and I agree the women who take back the real aliens ones are not helping us to evolve the species to a more perfect specification.
i am going now - that was all a bit to philosophical

Gobbledigook · 02/05/2005 10:55

It's certainly my MIL fault that dh is crap at cleaning and tidying because she mollied him and didn't expect him to lift a finger....don't worry, he's doing OK on his training now!

OTOH, my brothers, although not perfect, do at least know how to cook and load the washing machine and work an iron because they were taught and expected to do some of these things for themselves growing up.

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