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Relationships

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Fuck Buddys

86 replies

Claire2009 · 04/05/2009 22:31

Have you ever done 'fuck buddy' sex?

How was it? Do you regret it?

Just curious here!

OP posts:
Wizzska · 05/05/2009 11:54

Been there, done that - long ago though. We were flatmates and friends, it was great. Neither of us ended up falling in love with each other and no regrets. We are still in touch so there were no embarrassing after effects.

expatinscotland · 05/05/2009 11:57

I've had a few.

I made sure they were no one I'd ever want to do more than shag - one was a weirdo and one was super dumb - so that it could stay what it was: a sex-only relationship with the odd takeaway thrown in.

Supercherry · 05/05/2009 12:03

Nope, never had one. If a man wants to get into my padlock pants then we have to be in love first. I have never been used and I have never had a man not want to get serious with me.

Each to their own though, but if you have any reservations, don't do it!

Ewe · 05/05/2009 12:07

I've done it a few times and have loads of girlfriends who have done this and in my experience it always ends in tears or very occasionally has a happy ending.

I settled down and had a baby with mine but even that in itself has it's issues.

Approach with caution!

aiden · 05/05/2009 12:24

My friend and i used to have sex until he met his current girlfriend. We?ve been friends for over a decade so there was never any issue about us never speak other again.

I have been single since pregnant with dd (now 21 mnths), and the only thing I miss the most is sex. I would love to have another friend with benefit but don?t know any men I trust enough to get that involved with.

Pan · 05/05/2009 12:36

yep - done it once. Ended when 'feelings' emerged, which in theory is what we don't want - just lots of great, commitment-free sex with people we like, n'est-ce pas?
They end in frustration and tears, usually.

YanknCock · 05/05/2009 12:37

Have had a few over the years, and come to the conclusion that I am not very good at remaining unattached.

Sex, normally great. Don't regret it, but have learned enough about myself to know it's not something I can do.

Spent a whole summer having ridiculously great sex and being mates with a guy. We hung out a lot, went camping together, met some of each other's friends. . .but it had to stop when I wanted it to be more a 'relationship' than he did. FBs is what we'd agreed, so the sex part stopped. Years and years later, he was moaning to me (online) about his lack of love life and actually said 'why can't I find someone like you?'....and I said 'Um...you DID'. He was quite embarassed.

The last FB I had happened just as I decided to split up from my asexual husband. Technically still married, FB said he was too busy for anything serious but didn't mind being the 'bit on the side' while I figured out what the hell to do about the marriage. It was really just shagging for about a month, then he suggested we go away for a weekend (for some shagging out of the earshot of his flatmates). I figured out during the trip that not only did I really like the shagging, I actually liked spending time with him, found him quite funny and interesting.

I did NOT want to get into another situation like with the other guy. So, when we got back, I mustered up everything I had and made a little speech about how this had been really great, but I was getting too emotional about it to continue on a FB basis, and since I knew that's not what he wanted, I was going to stop it right now. I even told him about previous FB and how I was starting to figure out having a FB wasn't for me. And I walked out the door.

So....two years later, we're married and expecting a baby.

I guess the only advice I'd give is that you have to know yourself. If you aren't able to remain unattached, you have to be prepared to walk away. Sometimes he'll follow you, but more likely he won't.

ashamedone · 05/05/2009 14:36

Ive namechanged.
Ive had a FB for 14 years!!! We were both married when it started, we have both since got divorced and I re-married and he has a long term GF. We still see each other for sex every few months. Its such a stupid relationship. I wouldnt trust him for the world. i would never want to be with him on a permanent basis. I couldnt trust him and im sure he couldnt trust me.
We just always end up contacting one another and end up having sex. Wever never slept together when either of us has been single!! how strange is that? It seems we only want eachother when we are both in a relationship.
I am ashamed of all this and what I have done. But no-one has ever known about us and tthey never will.

Iklboo · 05/05/2009 14:39

Reader - I married mine
At the time we met DH was with someone else, I'd just come out of a really bad relationship so we were just friends.
About a year later he was dumped and wary and I was still 'fragile'. We got on well still as mates and gravitated to FBs - no strings, good clean fun.
Then we discovered we'd fallen in love (when I went away on holiday and realised I was missing the feck out of him, and him me).

Supercherry · 05/05/2009 15:17

Ashamedone, that's not a FB, that's an affair surely? Albeit a strange one. And of course you can't trust each other, neither of you are trustworthy.

atterual · 05/05/2009 16:19

Supercherry - re ashamedone. I was going to say that. It doesnt sound like a FB. more of a long term affair but on and off by the sounds of it.

maltesers · 05/05/2009 16:55

Yes, years ago cos my Ex partner was a man lacking greatly in sex drive... it used to drive me dotty. He was a nasty aggresssive man and treated me badly , so i had no regrets ..... sorry !

Hawkmoth · 05/05/2009 17:17

I had one. No feelings on either side, except we used to argue over politics and football. Worked well over a few months until it fizzled out.

Filled a hole, as it were.

Pan · 05/05/2009 17:26

We got a govt-sponsored email circular round at work the other day talking about swine flu and how important it is if you do come down with it, to have a good "Flu Friend"....only a wise and powerful colleague managed to pull my hands away from the keyboard before I could ask for, in the same vein, a govt. circular on getting a good "Fuck Buddy"....

missmiss · 05/05/2009 17:47

I had one when I was at university. We only slept together twice, so I'm not sure if it really counts, though. It was great - he was a friend of a friend; I'd known him for a year or so when he was with his ex-girlfriend, then we hooked up after he split up with her. We both have partners now but we see each other occasionally (he's my friend's housemate) and we get on fine: no awkwardness, just banter.

cheltenhamgal · 05/05/2009 20:18

i agree with some of the others, if a FB is what you need at present then go for it, but honesty is the key. and enjoy ! lifes too short

brazenhussy · 05/05/2009 20:22

I have two!
One I have been seeing for about a year and the other about 6 months
I don't want 'proper' relationship as newly divorced and loving my new life and these men suit me fine. They are both attentive and romantic, funny and considerate and the sex with the one I have been seeing longest is the best ever!
The best thing of all though is the fact that they go home to their wives afterwards therefore not encroaching on my precious spare time.
I know of a few women who couldn't cope with this sort of arrangement and emotions came into it and they got hurt.
You know yourself whether you could cope with being intimate with someone oneday and then perhaps not hearing from him for two weeks.
If you can cope with it and only see it for what it is I think it is an ideal situation.

poshwellies · 05/05/2009 21:26

This will kick off.

cheekysealion · 05/05/2009 21:31

how does a FB operate... do they just phone up to get together for sex?... would you hear from them inbetween time? or would that be to much like a relationship

brazenhussy · 05/05/2009 22:00

With one of mine we chat on MSN 3 or 4 nights a week and text daily but the with the other one we just contact each other when we want to meet up - sometimes it's fortnightly other times it can be a couple of months.

poshwellies · 05/05/2009 22:23

When the wife is busy eh?

ProstetnicVogonJeltz · 05/05/2009 22:25

yes. got pregnant and 14 years later have mortgage, dog, kids, wrinkles etc.

lockets · 06/05/2009 00:39

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Supercherry · 06/05/2009 07:43

Lockets I'm with you on that one- the thought of it makes me feel sick- it truly is the lowest of the low

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 06/05/2009 07:54

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