my dad has just sold his company for 0.4m

[Fio2]

& he gave me 5k two months ago for my half

Oh, fio...

I think if she didn't make a will then although she didn't want him to have her share he was legally entitled to half of it :

so your sister's share of your mother's half would have legally been divided between your mother and father again, even though she wanted you to have it and you were her "next of kin".

You could try pursuing a moral case but I don't think you'd get anywhere; however if he also took the share that should have reverted to your mother he is legally in the wrong. (Still with me?) And he was wrong to only pay you £5K but if you signed it away then you can't go back on it I don't think. (Unless you could prove he actually misled you about its value.)

You are not stupid at all, you are a kind and honest and loving person (just like your sister I imagine). You (or your mother) probably could get some of the money back but solicitors would cost a lot and do you want to bother and have to deal with him again?

I don't think you are stupid either. I jsut think that if you do not try to sort this out, or at least confront your Dad about it and tell him how yoeu feel, then you will continue to hold all the anger you feel over this inside and it will bug you for ever. Ranting on here can be cathartic, but it can only go so far to giving you closure (I hate that term )

Fio, sorry to hear all of this. Your friends have posted some lovely thoughts here. I understand you not wanting to pursue it and even focusing your energy on it. You have a right to be angry and hopefully you can get to the grieving stage and not make yourself sick over this. You are so very nice and you made me wet my chair about the gerbil stuff and the lunatic with the match. You have my good throughts and wishes in whatever you decide to do, please don't think your sister would be angry with you--your father is the one she would be angry with for sure.

I don't think you're stupid, Fio. I can see why you just wanted to get him off your back. He sounds like a nasty piece of work.

I do think you should see a lawyer though (although i won't think any less of you if you don't)

fio - you haven't been stupid. I don;t understand what this man has done nor how he'a managed to do it, but there are laws that govern what happens if you don;t leave a will and it certainly seems possible that he's done something dodgy. You should see a laywer, not for the money but to set a seal on things - to sort them out so that he knows he can't ride rough-shod over people like this, but, more importantly for your own self-esteem. do it girl.

well i have decided to see a solicitor to try to get some of my sisters stuff back and to get the deeds of her grave back. IT was my sisters wish that my mother be buried with her (sorry this is morbid) and now he is saying he wants to be buried with her Honestly she didnt want this. She would go mad. he thinks he some big flashy bloke and has paid to have this huge gravestone put on her grave with photos, poems, really expenisive and it made my Mum cry because she could only afford to give him 500 pound towards it and he just picked whatever he wanted The funeral we asked for the service not to be centered around her illness and he asked his girlfriends father to read the service (which we played our faces over and the other vicar had to do half) and all this bloke went on about was all the things my Father had done for her and about her illness. My sister would have been really cross His family were awful to me at the funeral and his sister (my dads) even crossed the road to avoid me the day after my sister died. She insulted me at the funeral, she even said I was fat! i had a 6 month old baby ffs and my sister had died at 21, i was hardly bothered whether I looked fat or not! Anyway this is irrelevent I am just ranting.

I just think my sister would want her to have some of her ;possessions' and she certainly would want us to have the deeds to her grave.

I just feel I have let her down so much. She used to say to me (these we her words!) "Dont let the bitches get their hands on this money, it is ours" well they have it now. My dad is apparently emigrating with his new family. I dont think there is any reason in me even talking to my dad, he manipulates me so much i would end up back where I started with him manipulating me again. He would love a relationship with me as long as it is on HIS terms and boy can he bully me. i have no idea why?? Prufock i know what you mean about 'closure' but I think i am going to have to find closure on my own, maybe eventually through counselling as I certainly wont find any in confronting him, ikwym though.

Sorry i have really rattled on. I am really grateful to everyone on here who has let me use them as a sounding board. it has really helped and your advice and kindness has helped as always thanks

Fio What a horrible man. It will be good to have him so far away, so you can forget him and concentrate on your lovely family.

Hugs xxx

Oh Fio, so sorry about all this.

I hope the meeting with the solicitor goes well.

Fio - I think just seeing a solicitor - even if nothing comes of it, is a big step as it is something that your father would not want you to do. So you are standing up to him, even if you can't do it to his face (which I completely understand).

Best of luck with the solicitor, Fio. I hope this awful man gets out of your life (and the country) very soon. xxx

Fio, I've only just seen this Don't know why I'm suprised he's done this from what you've said in the past about him though. I agree with what Prufock has said about seeing the solictor.