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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH drew on the wall. Do I ignore it or bite the bait?

62 replies

Higory · 19/04/2009 23:55

Me and DH had a bit of a heated discussion earlier (not a full blown argument, just a slightly raised voice disagreement). I have just been downstairs to see that he has drawn a hitler picture on the living room wall in marker pen. He's now in the shower. HIGHLY unusual for him, he's never done anything so stupid or childish before. Infact if he wasn't the only one in the house right now, I wouldn't believe he had done it.

I don't want to argue anymore tonight, I'm so shocked at what he's done but I'm thinking if I ignore it, he'll come to his senses by morning and try and remove it himself? or am I being naive?

OP posts:
AccioPinotGrigio · 20/04/2009 15:45

I'm sorry Higory but I laughed when I read this. Was he stoned?

LizzyIzzyLou · 20/04/2009 15:55

TWSP made me and

rookiemater · 20/04/2009 15:58

This has to be made up right ?

Ok if not you do have to discuss it with him. Clearly there is a bit of a hint in how he views you so an attempt to appear open and receptive might be in order, but on the other hand what sort of an idiot draws on his own walls ?

However what Lauriefairycake suggests sounds better.

Habbibu · 20/04/2009 16:00

That is very very very odd.

Ages ago, when dp (as he was then) came in v late, v drunk, woke me up and then stole all the duvet and snored really loudly all night, I wrote all his misdemeanours all over his body and face in lipstick - he was very, very drunk. It cheered me up and stopped me being cross, and it was very funny when he looked in the mirror.

But marker pen and hitler is a bit of a step further.

Blu · 20/04/2009 16:05

I would take it as a clue that he intended to decorate, and would enthusiastically be choosing wallpaper, paint colours...and planning a few nice days out in the sun so as not to be under his feet while he did it...

What's the update?

Have you started goosestepping yet?

DandyLioness · 20/04/2009 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MerlinsBeard · 20/04/2009 16:24

Is this thread real?

How old is he 8?

Buy some paint, (or wallpaper) and make him get rid

MuffinBaker · 20/04/2009 16:27

"It's very, very odd behaviour. Hence why I'm reluctant to bring it up with him."

He is your husband so talk to him about it.

beanieb · 20/04/2009 16:28

if it were me, if I were thinking rationally (Which you seemed to be when you posted) I would absolutely and completely ignore it. He will have been feeling like the biggest tit in the world and by ignoring it you are going to make him feel even more of a tit, specially if it stays on the wall for a long period of time.

Ignore ignore ignore.

I hope you did!

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/04/2009 16:41

Reminds me of when i was in the 5th year and I drew a 6 foot high willy on the doors to F Block. There was absolutely no reason why I did this, I just fancied a lark (and was very amused at my own daring). I was only 15 though, god knows what your husband was thinking. Was he pissed?

Original poster
Higory · 20/04/2009 17:24

Yes it is for real unfortunately. Thanks for all the responses.

I chose to ignore it. I went to bed shortly after I posted this thread and he came up not long afterwards. It was obvious he was waiting for me to say something but I just pretended I hadn't seen it.

Then this morning he was up bright and early, I went down to see him scrubbing the wall with soapy water. When that didn't work he went to shop and bought some emulsion to go over it. He now needs to re-paint the entire room

I simply said to him "oh ... have you got something on the wall?" and he just blanked me.

I'm quite impressed with myself actually, usually I would have hit the roof and kept on going after seeing that.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 20/04/2009 17:26

Now come on OP. Be honest! Have you been trying to exterminate races and invading countries in your spare time?

Original poster
Higory · 20/04/2009 17:29

Well, I invaded the garden last summer and tried to eliminate the ant population but apart from that, I can't recall any other Nazi'ish behaviour ...

OP posts:
notoverit · 20/04/2009 17:51

i cannot believe how many people said ignore it, and well done for ignoring it.

If it was me I would have ran into the bathroom while he was in the shower and started screaming at him and saying how crazy he was... all while acting crazy myself.

But yes you did the right thing. I would really want to question him about why he did it though, as it is crazy to draw on your own walls.

GrimbleTheResourceful · 20/04/2009 18:36

Not that crazy, really.

I'd like to imagine you might laugh about it together sometime in the near future Higory?

TheButterflyEffect · 20/04/2009 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HappyWoman · 20/04/2009 19:21

i think one day you will see the funny side too. I suspect he is still so cross with himself for doing it and having to re-paint it all.

My h once threw a saucepan at a wall and made a huge hole in it - it was in anger and it was not directed at me or anyone else. Just his way of venting - but he was really cross with himself for a long time. Now i guild him away from the cupboards if i see him getting cross and it sort of deflects the anger.

Maybe during the next heated debate you could either pass him the pen or as others have suggested don a hitler moustache.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 20/04/2009 19:26

You should have drawn a hitler tache on him whilst he was asleep.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 20/04/2009 19:27

OMG I'm so glad this wasn't my DH.

Not that I think he would draw on walls, and I know I would go down the ignore route, but I know I'd bring it up again when he was calm. As in "you were a complete tosser the other evening, weren't you". Far more effective than ranting when you're both cross.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 20/04/2009 19:27

Very funny that he has to repaint the whole room. he must be wondering why you haven't asked more about why he's doing that. Are you supposed to not notice he's painting the entire room?

nickschick · 20/04/2009 19:28

It is Hitlers birthday today.......

Habbibu · 20/04/2009 19:29

Or you could just write "Godwin's Law" on the bathroom mirror.

beanieb · 20/04/2009 19:31

could you use some mascara, or eye liner to draw a little hitler moustache on the bathroom mirror (if you have one) just at the right height so that when he looks in the mirror it's positioned perfectly on his top lip

beanieb · 20/04/2009 19:32

or just go for it and draw one on his face with a marker-pen

Original poster
Higory · 20/04/2009 20:57

Oh we probably will laugh about it in future. I have been slipping in the odd German word all day.

Like when the kids were getting their bath I said "Come on DS, Schnell! Schnell!"

DH just raised an eyebrow but has still not mentioned it. This is going to be fun for a while until he has the balls to bring it up lol

OP posts:
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