I took DH into A&E on Sunday afternoon with abdominal pain and he was diagnosed with appendicitis. They decided to remove his appendix that night. We have a 2 year old DS who was at the hospital with us and I rang MIL to see if she could come down and stay with DS that night so I could stay at the hospital with DH and be there when he came out of surgery.
It was all very last minute, of course, and the ILs live about two hours away but they've always said that if we ever needed them anytime just to ring. We've never asked for their help before but this was a difficult situation. I could tell MIL was reluctant and she asked me to ring her back in ten minutes so she could speak to FIL. I decided to ring a friend and see if she could help. It meant more work for me because I would need to take DS to her house (she has two small children of her own) and pick him up that night. The friend said absolutely, anything she could do, etc, etc. So I rang MIL and told her I had made other arrangements. I could tell she was relieved.
I'm 12 weeks pregnant. We lost two babies last year and I have an ultrasound in London on Wednesday. Of course, DH will still be in hospital and I'll have to go on my own now. I'm a bit nervous about it and asked MIL if she could perhaps come down on Wednesday and watch DS while I went to the appt or go to the appt with us. Again, reluctance. I dropped it and will go on my own with DS and just make the best of it.
MIL and FIL are not planning to visit DH in hospital, they haven't sent flowers or a card. They have rung the hospital a couple of times and left messages. MIL tried to talk me out of going to the hospital the night DH had his op. She said there was nothing I could really do. I thought that being there for my husband was doing quite a lot and I know he would do the same for me.
Is this normal behaviour?? I know an appendectomy isn't necessarily life threatening but their reaction seems very strange to me. I am American and I know there are cultural differences and I do come from a rather dramatic family that would be at the hospital in a heartbeat and would camp out all night if need be. My mother even talked about flying over to come to the ultrasound on Wed! I just don't know what to think. Quite put out with the ILs, especially after years of 'Anything we can do darling, just ask.'
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Relationships
In-laws - surely this is not normal
tex111 · 26/04/2005 13:20
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