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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do some women go aftewr men in relationships?

34 replies

fairyfly · 25/04/2005 10:23

I was in the toilet on friday night in a bar. The woman outside who is 15 years older than me was informing her friend she was going to try and lure my boyfriend back to her house that night.
My x partner had someone blatantly trying to get him, she did as it happens.

Does this happen a lot and what is it about these women. I obviously know it can be the mans fault too, i am not just blaming females. But my point is i dont find a man sexy if he is taken and trying to sleep with someone else.

It seems they like the competition and want to prove they can win a man over other women.

My nanna always told me it was the women you had to be careful of as men are simple creatures.

Any views?

OP posts:
compo · 25/04/2005 10:24

It's all jjst a game to some people I think. They like a challenge, evil wenches.

Hermione1 · 25/04/2005 10:25

OMG! What happened? I wouldn't lure someone if they were taken. that's swful.

munz · 25/04/2005 10:26

in our area the local girls have a points system for the squaddies, singles get next to none, married men get 5 ish then 2 extras for every child the man has, it's sad and pathetic if u ask me.

expatinscotland · 25/04/2005 10:27

IMO, anyone who does this is sad and desperate. As my nan alwasys said, 'Never run after a man or a bus. There'll be another in 5 minutes.'

snafu · 25/04/2005 10:28

pmsl expat. I think I must be standing at the wrong bus-stops.

iota · 25/04/2005 10:29

weird - I've always expected men to run after me

fairyfly · 25/04/2005 10:29

Nothing happened, she asked him back and he said no thanks, i love ff, i just thought she came across as a desperate cheap woman who was incredibly unhappy with her life. Embarassing really.

I just dont get it though, why some people think it is acceptabel behaviour. Surely we should look out for one another.

OP posts:
Hermione1 · 25/04/2005 10:30

I think some people are like that, they like the challenge. It's not nice for the GF/BF though.

TheVillageIdiot · 25/04/2005 10:32

It is like a sport to some women, it just means they are insecure and feel the need to prove they are 'better' than you. By knocking her back it will just shatter her confidence even more.

Next time step out of the toilet and say "If you like blood sports perhaps you could try fox hunting"

Stupid old bint. I agree with your nane btw

DillyDally · 25/04/2005 10:32

I am afraid there is no sisterhood anymore and women can be awful beatches to each other
Not sure why, life is not a competition against each other
She does sound cheap and she is probably regretting making a tit of herself
and boyf gets brownie points for behaving very well indeed

fairyfly · 25/04/2005 10:35

I'll try and shag her husband next week

OP posts:
Chandra · 25/04/2005 10:38

I don't know really, probably because in a way the fact that the man in question is already in a relationship means that he can get involved in one? It must be the challenge as well...

I noticed that DH was aproached more often by woman when we were obviously dating than when we were just going out with a bunch of friends (he had been even asked for his phone number in front of me ), and he quickly realised that that DS is better to attract chatty women than a dog.

handlemecarefully · 25/04/2005 10:50

Because they lack all morality?

Janos · 25/04/2005 12:38

A suggestion - desperation, immaturity, lack of self confidence, sadness. Speaking as someone who has been there.

Of course there's just plain nastiness too.

motherinferior · 25/04/2005 12:49

I agree with Janos. Sometimes you genuinely don't think you deserve a man who's geninuinely available - that all you're entitled to is other women's leftovers.

Not trying to justify, just explain.

Listmaker · 25/04/2005 13:04

Hi FF. I don't get it either - I would never do that.

I assume this means you and the bf made up - missed a few days so probably didn't see that bit! Is all rosey again?? Hope so!

fairyfly · 25/04/2005 13:12

Yeh we made up, i was being a hormonal boot, he also took me shopping, not that im shallow or anything

OP posts:
lou33 · 25/04/2005 13:54

maybe men and women who are in relationships seem confident, relaxed and happy in themselves, which makes them more appealing?

NomDePlume · 25/04/2005 13:55

I agree Lou.

Chandra · 25/04/2005 13:56

Thats a good point Lou

sobernow · 25/04/2005 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarsLady · 25/04/2005 13:58

I asked the girl who was trying to turn DH's head what she saw in him, she said that he was faithful, responsible, a family man with high morals and standing. To which I replied if he went off with you he would no longer be any of those things.

prettyfly1 · 25/04/2005 16:47

youre nanna is right on the whole - women like that are why all of my friends are men!!!!!!! How did you react - you must have wanted to kill her!!!!

fuzzywuzzy · 25/04/2005 16:51

pf1 but not all women are like that though, it is worth having female friends....

prettyfly1 · 25/04/2005 18:38

no i know - wasnt deadly serious about that - did get screwed badly by all female friends for a long time but have found as i get older and especially since i got pregnant i have looked for more female company!!!! I am just so shocked that someone would be that obvious and disprespectful - and i probably would have slapped her for it, whatever the reason for it was!!!!!!!!