When he says "I love you" does he mean it? after such short space of time?

[TheLindtBunny]

Been with current partner just over a month. Have known him in passing for a couple of years. He says he wanted to speak to me years ago but never had the confidence.

So in this past month we have seen each other a lot. We have been for a meal twice, cinema once, for a drink once, a walk along the river once, 2 full days out with the kids etc (the kids knew each other before) and he has cooked a meal once.

He has told me he loves me. He seems to mean it. But can he? or is it all lust?

I have had 2 past boyfriends who claimed to love me and I now know they probably didn't even know the meaning of the word so is it possible or should I take it as a throw-away comment?

Reading this thread gives me an overwhelmingly warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach...that usually means I am going to throw up. .

Seriously, I am pretty sure if you had a historical web cam operating, you would find him saying the same thing to other amories at about the same time in those relationships.
Tread carefully.

ta.

Do you think you love him? I'd say have fun and enjoy his company but pay more attention to how he behaves rather than what he says.

Hmm now.

IME, the ones that start declaring all the love and undying stuff early on, are the ones who turn into male bunny boilers somewhere along the line.

My first boyfriend age 15, 3 weeks in saying I love you, 6 months in is having jealous rages, tantrums, emotional blackmail...

Fast forward a few years, ex p says I love you within the first month, flowers, pressies, cards, chocs, I have been posting my experience of life with and leavign that one on a current emotional abuse thread

I think the ones that say I love you when they don't really know you, are more in love with the idea of love, than with you and your personality. THen later on when they get to know you, they notice flaws, which they then don't like because you are supposed to be perfect, and therein lies the start of put downs and slippery slope to emotional and possibly physical abuse.

Cynical and pessimistic? Moi?

DP I have stuck with cos it took him nearly a year to decide he loved me and even longer to tell me!

Hello Pan Remember the how-does-my-friend-look thread?! Can you have a quick gander at my profile pics now; she's got straight hair (and mine went black btw!) Ta muchly

Hectate - I am ed because you didn't just make one massive decision on speck there you made a whole lifetime's worth of them in almost no time at all. You blew me away with your story. It was like a whirlwind.

So sorry to hear you lost your business and the other awful things that happended to you and your family but with a sure footed decision making process that you and DH seem to have together that works that fast - well all I can say is you are obviously a formidable pairing and nothing will hold you back.

Good on you both!

We have a "what the hell, what's the worst that can happen" outlook. And things generally end up working out for the best in the end. (plus we always find something to laugh about in a situation, which gets you through anything!)

In fact, my sister once said that if we were both put into a barrel of shit, she'd come out with dysentery and I'd come out with prize winning roses!

Which made me feel sad, but also I pissed myself laughing cos she's got such a funny turn of phrase!

It's as much luck as anything (because there are no guarantees: someone could be lovely and trustworthy and fanciable and get hit by a bus): for most people there is a reasonably large pool of possible longterm partners and it generally depends which one is nearest and available when the urge to pairbond strikes. A lot of the time such things go wrong because, actually, pairbonding is not that big a priority for some people but it is peddled so ferociously to everyone as the right way to live that people get to a stage of thinking 'Got to do it sometime - oh well this person will do' and either they make a bad choice (person looks initially appealing but is a loon or an arsehole) or they find that it simply doesn't suit one or both of them to be in a couple-relationship anyway.

For every love at first sight relationship that turned into 40 years of happy marriage, there must be an equal amount of he/she turned out to be unsuitable further down the line. I don't believe all the divorces are down to people not being in love when they married.

Morning mustrun!

She does seem to have toned down the 1980's look that was a bit 'garish' on the make up front, and done the Bobbi Brown stuff? Was that in response to the know alls wise posters on the thread by chance? And...she does appear to be morphing into you!! Not a bad thing if true!

Also, is she any 'happier' more easier with herself than before at all. Reason I ask is I am putting together something for work around self-esteem ( where we get it from, how we keep it/lose it) and self-grooming is a factor.Not wishing to snoop, but wondering has someone making such a change in her appearance/style acheived satisfaction and feeling happier in herself, or was that not an issue?? ta in adv.

Ah, thanks Pan, you sweetie She straightened just for a night out, but I agree she looked stunning... very French art film... i'll never look that good, but am coming to terms with that, slowly.
There is no someone that she's doing it for,but, ... its a bit complex. If you want i will gladly tell you by email.. facts, and my laymans theories just dont want to post her personal business on here.