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Relationships

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Original poster

Would it be wrong to date when pregnant?

38 replies

Thisispants · 19/03/2009 16:25

I probably wouldn't in reality but I'm 2mths pregnant, newly single (literally yesterday) and was just idly wondering.

Thoughts please?

OP posts:

SheWillBeLoved · 19/03/2009 16:29

Not at all, as long as it wasn't hidden from the other person involved, and the both of you were prepared for the 'implications' of it possibly becoming more than casual dates.

Flossish · 19/03/2009 16:29

Oh I am sorry to hear you are on your own.

I think it would very much depend on your situation, the man who you might be dating and what your own personal opinion was.

Good luck with it all and I hope you meet someone wonderful if you wish to!

FigmentOfYourImagination · 19/03/2009 16:36

Is it not a bit early to be planning your next date if your relationship only just finished yesterday ?

No, imo it's not weird so long as you are clear with the person you are dating from the start that you are pregnant. Some men it will bother, others it will not.

If you are happy with with and your potential partner/s are happy with it then it is no ones business but your own. Of course assumin that if you do progress to a sexual relationship with any of these men that you are practising safe protected sex,but then that goes for anyone in a new or casual relationship, pregnant or not.

Original poster

Thisispants · 19/03/2009 16:43

Figment, I'm not planning my next date, really I'm not, just 'idly wondering' like I explained. We are talking dates, NOT sex.

OP posts:

electra · 19/03/2009 16:51

LOL - I asked this question a while back It's not wrong at all imo, but agree it's best to be open about it.

Original poster

Thisispants · 19/03/2009 17:36

So did you date when pregnant then Electra? Just curious. See I can't imagine telling someone I was pregnant if it was just a lighthearted date. I don't think that's deceitful if you make it clear it is just a date. Obviously if you realy liked them and wanted to see them again then you dhave to come out with it then.

OP posts:

Nabster · 19/03/2009 17:44

I am thinking men will quite like you being pregnant as they won't see the need for condoms for if and when you do decide to have sex. But maybe I am just cynical about men.

Original poster

Thisispants · 19/03/2009 18:02

I am cynical too Nabster Wouldn't be having sex with a man that wasn't the dad while pregnant anyway. Would feel wrong to me. Dating though?? Nothing serious. I can't see myself trusting another man to get serious for at least 2 yrs. I have been in shitty relationships since I was 17, with barely a break. I need time to myself. To know I can be happy without a man. However, just musing about possibility of dating- just for a bit of fun you know? I'm sure I never would in reality though.

OP posts:

neverknowinglyunderdressed · 19/03/2009 18:08

Also sorry to hear you are on your own. My friend was in the same position as you. She met someone, thru friends, could see it was a mutual thing. So she told him she was pg. He had no probs with it. They are now married, he has adopted first DC as his own and they have second Dc which is theirs. Seem v happy. So it could work out for you too!

sifuentes · 19/03/2009 18:17

You must watch the film Waitress if you haven't already. It is a very sweet film and as you will see contains many parallels to your life. Not the same, but she dates throughout her pregnancy.

You go girl. My DP says that he finds preg women very attractive

Nabster · 19/03/2009 18:22

I am relieved you weren't offended.

I would say about the baby on the second date if you felt you were going to see each other again.

The advantage of telling men beforehand is that if they don't want to know you haven't lost anything or met someone and then being hurt if you like them and they don't want to know. (too many know's there.)

BonsoirAnna · 19/03/2009 18:24

Thisispants - do you have a counsellor? You sound as if you need some support...

MamaG · 19/03/2009 18:25

(can I just remind you of hte need to still use condoms if you DO hae sex due to STIs? Not that you're planning to of course!)

Original poster

Thisispants · 19/03/2009 18:47

Neverknowinglyunderdressed- that's a nice, positive story to hear

Oooh Sifuentes- I have just arranged a regular thursday night film and takeaway night with my mum so that will be our first film. Thanks. Oh and my ex said the same about finding pregnant women attractive but during my first pregnancy he definitely went off sex and I heard him the other night (pre-break up) telling our DS, 13mths, that mummy was going to get fat. I only put 2 and a half stone on!

Bonsoiranna- I actually feel OK today- I've had a nice day. The sun helps too. The only thing is that I can't bring myself to tell anyone just yet. Not sure what I'm waiting for. I don't want to burden people with my problems. I'm embarassed that another relationship has failed.

OP posts:

Original poster

Thisispants · 19/03/2009 18:54

Oh and MamaG, in the really extremely unlikely event that I do decide to have sex I promise I will use a condom. Perish the thought.

OP posts:

moondog · 19/03/2009 18:55

Yes.
It is the most distasteful thing i can imagine.
Yuck.

Nabster · 19/03/2009 18:56

Why?

moondog · 19/03/2009 18:57

Just a visceral reaction.
Thought of busying oneself shagging other people while pg with another person's child makes me feel sick.

Nabster · 19/03/2009 18:59

She has already said she doesn't intend to have sex.

moondog · 19/03/2009 18:59

Right.
Grown (pregnant) women go out with men and don't think about sex.

QuintessentialShadow · 19/03/2009 19:06

Actively seeking dates when pregnant is one thing, something quite another to "accidentally fall in love" quite by chance.

I echo moondog, actually, which I dont think I have ever done before.....

Laugs · 19/03/2009 19:08

Thisispants, you say you want to know you can be happy without a man, but you're already considering dating when your relationship ended yesterday?

You CAN be happy without a man. You will be. You have a beautiful baby coming that will need all your care and attention for a while yet. Concentrate on that.

As you are pregnant you're probably awash with emotions and feeling slightly needy - not a good time to meet a man, even if you only intend it to be for fun.

The other things is, I can't imagine anything worse than going on a date sober. But maybe that's just me.

Original poster

Thisispants · 19/03/2009 19:09

Er yes Moondog, sex really is the last thing on my mind- I was thinking more along the lines of a bit of company, conversation, a bit of a giggle. They didn't used to call me Padlock Pants for nothing you know . I'm not kidding either.

But yes I do know what you mean about sex while pregnant with another man's child feeling wrong. I'm actually only talking about dating though. Grown pregnant ladies tend to have more on the brain than sex you know. Think you might be judging others by your own standards??

OP posts:

MissMoopy · 19/03/2009 19:09

Think moondog is being a bit of a prude!
Go out and enjoy yourself while you can, as soon enough you will be surrounded by nappys! I think as long as you are careful, and I don't just mean if you have sex. Good luck x

BlueCowWondersWhenItsChocTime · 19/03/2009 19:11

there's a Katie Fforde book about this....

good escapism for ThisisPant (or anyone else!)

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