Just wanted a rant really and don't know where else to do it as I'm stuck at work - just had a blazing row with my mother in my open plan office .
She is 78 and has been a widow for about 15 years - has no friends and relies on me and my brother for company. Brother doesn't get on with her and rarely visits, I pop over once or twice a week depending on what else is going on (I work 3 days a week and have twin 4 year old girls).
I haven't seen her for a week as my girls have had parties to go to on my days off, and I've wanted to spend time with DH at the weekend as a family rather than dashing off to visit mum - I have, however, rung her every day, she very rarely rings me. On the 'phone she has been very off and cold which is her usual way when I haven't been to see her. I rang her this morning and mentioned the fact that I could see a pattern - ie, I don't visit for a week, she gets all stroppy and cold and starts inventing places/people she has to see when I do suggest meeting up. She laughed and said it was all in my imagination, then went on to list a few of my faults, as she saw them, spending too much money, spoiling my girls, rushing around too much with friends ..... ending up with the fact that she feels I only visit occasionally "out of duty".
I forgot I was at work and screamed down the 'phone "Out of bloody duty .... that's why I got 3 buses and two trains with 2 bloody four year olds to come and see you the other week when my car had broken down". Hardly duty! She started to cry, said I had really upset her and put the phone down. Now I should just forget it, but she really gets to me, I'm peed off that at 37 my stroppy weird mother still makes me feel like that. I'm a mother myself so why does she still affect me like this.
If anyone is still awake thank you for reading this, very boring and very trivial I know in the great scheme of things but it's better off my chest.