Is he just after sex or am I being paranoid?

[BatmansWilly]

My online dating quest continues ...

So I've been talking to this bloke for just over a week and he was very keen to meet up straight away. I didn't have a problem with this as I can't be arsed faffing with endless emailing anyway.

Thing is, he started by saying "when should I pop around?" I responded by saying "I will meet you somewhere".

Then msn went all wierd and we got cut off.

Last night he came back on. I said "How are you?" and he said "I'm fine thanks, wish we could meet up though ... ?"

So I said "When are you free? we could meet up sometime this week if you want?"

He replied "Where do you live? I can pop around for a coffee" I said "I'd prefer to meet somewhere neutral actually".

He replied "yes lol, I could be a mad axe man I suppose".

So he told me he would be in the city centre tomorow. I suggested I meet him there. He then said he didn't know the city very well. So by this point I'm getting tired of it and just suggested a pub near where he will be. He agreed.

But then he said "if we click, we could maybe go back to yours for lunch or something lol x"

So what do you reckon? nutter or am I being paranoid?

He's also suggested that I take my kids down to where he lives sometime (lives on a farm apparantly) after only a week of chatting? He has shown me a picture of his daughter (or I suppose some little girl) holding a duck in the house so it kind of fits IYSWIM?

I'm just being extra careful.

If he is not mad, sex starved, or murderous then he is certainly a little single minded in his thinking. One would like to expect that any potential date has the empathetic ability to see things from the other's point of view. He is not seeing yours.

In simple terms this probably means, he might be alright but he isn't amazing. He will buy you tupperware foe your birthday after a couple of years together, and not see why you do not appreciate.

Also, if he is one of those horny little men who want a shag, then they are much more shaggable if they have the balls to admit this is the case.

Aaah a farmer then ....

says it all really....

Its Spring and the sap is rising

haha no he's not a farmer, the farm belongs to his family apparantly, he's just staying there since 'the breakup' but he reckons he also has a house in a neighbouring village to my town.

He's probably just a tight fisted git who doesn't want to pay Starbuck prices for coffee or lunch out.

I think you are being totally sensible in meeting him in a neutral spot.

Dont under any circumstances let him know where you live until you have seen him in person and decided if you like him or not.

Stick to your guns girl !

probably after sex, possibly just very tightfisted. the whole - not sorted out his house since "the breakup" sounds a bit offputting, like he's got a lot of baggage at the moment.

oh lordy you don't half pick em lol.
he's def up for a shag
so if you are happy with that then go along with it
if you would like more than don't bother unless you want to be the next hit n run victim

Alarm bells would be ringing for me I'm afraid. Too forward for my liking!

He sounds odd to me., I wouldn't be meeting him anywhere.

why back to yours and not back to his?!

or am I being a little paranoid?!!!

He's after a shag. Pure and simple. Shouldn't he be offering to take you out rather than just going round yours?

I mean, if you want a shag, great. But if you're after dating, this man ain't it.

Thats what I feared. Back to the drawing board for me.

Sorry. I feel horrible now. But I can remember the signs from my dating days

Mind you I shagged them all

haha I'm tempted, it's been a while and he is quite fit!

He's already asked twice, you've refused both times (and rightly so). This third strike means he's out...

Sounds a tight, lazy sod and just wants a shag, Even if you DO shag him, he will be the wham bam type. Avoid him, what a boring, lazy person. If you do meet, keep it neutral, and give it waaay more time before you actually show him where you LIVE..

I think your feelings about this are completely reasonable. It's probably the case that all men want to have sex with women they like - completely normal and doesn't mean hes using you.

However most men (even those who later turn out to be a holes), in the early stages of dating are desperate not to make a mistake. If they really like you, they will meet whatever conditions you stipulate, so if you have made it clear that you don't want to go to each others houses yet, he is treading on thin ice imo if he keeps suggesting it.

Well he's just sent me a stroppy message on msn saying he waited up all night for me to text him!?!

I did mention I'd text him my number but I forgot, seems a bit extreme to wait up all night in anticipation?!?

fruit loop. find someone else...

Run fast!!

He's got stroppy with you before you've even met? He's a moron! Definitely best avoided.

definitely agree with lowrib!

block his messages if you can do that. And be glad you never did tell him your address.

why the chuff did he 'wait up'? wouldn't the beep of the text arriving have woken him up anyway if it was so urgent he didn't want to miss it?! freak.

A friend (no really!) of mine did online dating and she hardly ever got treated to any meals.

I wondered if the blokes she met were terminally tight-fisted but then also wondered if they met so many women that they couldn't afford/were no longer prepared to take them all out for a meal.

Oh well I think he's definately upto something sinister. I'm chatting to him on msn now. He's trying to work ot my address by asking if I live near so and so or close to so and so ...

He asked if I wanted to meet him nearer to where I lived

And is now asking to me to take a drive to his house and he'll make me lunch.

It seems like he wants to get me on my own somewhere. Maybe I am paranoid but I don't think so this time!