aaargghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jampots]

I am in danger of throwing a saucepan of boiling water over my husband and have decided to come upstairs to cool off. He is bombarding me with such hurtful comments continually like "fat bloater, useful fucking lazy bitch, heifer, stupid fucking useless c*" etc etc.

I have posted about this before and I want no sympathy I just need to tell someone before I boil him alive!

We argue, and sometimes not nice things are said. But I don't think my DP (He's no angel) has ever sunk as low as this. I'd like to think I'd leave. Not what you want to hear, I know, but true. Poor you, what a complete pig.

No your children shouldn't hear this, it's awful. what is domestic violence? - psychological abuse is in there

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I know that you are all trying to see some good in him... but does it change anything even if he is lovely in other ways? A wife beater is still a wife beater even if he changes all the nappies and buys you roses every day, same goes for this abuse.

im going to email my friend who's a family lawyer (a real one) and ask what she thinks I'd be entitled to if I asked him to leave.

What you'd be entitled to is a happy life with your kids not having to put up with that shite!

well said!

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Jampots, it wouldn't matter if you were so large that you had to leave the house via the garage door! He has absolutly no bloody right to say things like that.

And you could bet your bottom dollar that if you were a perfect size 12 he'd find something else to be horrible about.

He is a rotten little bully. Vile, just plain vile.

And I wouldn't give a toss about why he does it. He is an adult and should damn well learn to control himself. What he is doing is damaging to you and your children.

I agree with hmb Jampots. I'm sorry, it must be awful.

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Jampots, OMG, how do you live with such a pig of a man. Sweetheart you really do deserve so much better and so do your children. Do you really want them to grow up thinking this is normal adult behaviour.

You sound so lovely when you are on here, it breaks my heart to think of what this louse is doing to you

Ahhh, thought you were just way too nice and over generous

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yes im around - just tidying my ds's bedroom.

thanks for everyone's support but really I only posted because I needed to vent somewhere - i seriously could see me throwing the water on him

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I still think you should have done.

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Jampots - psychological abuse is equally as bad as physical abuse. Don't put up with it - if not for your sake, for the children

Jampots I can't believe it. Please, please don't put up with it

Not very constructive I know but I'm upset for you.

Galaxy is right - what kind of message is he sending to the kids? Apart from his obvious lack of respect for you which is awful, you don't want your ds treating someone like that.

First of all many hugs....you need them.

Second.....please find the strength in some way to tell him to go, or to leave yourself. I have a friend who's husband is also like this, and she still wont get out. I understand from her that she just isn't ready emotionally or physically yet (and am praying that she will be soon). But the saddest thing is that her two eldest children both are now talking to her in the same way and seem (to me) to be allowed to get away with it. My heart breaks every time I hear it, yet I just have to content myself with supporting her untill she is ready.

Please please be ready yourself to do something.....altho the boiling water plan sounds quite just.......I would add other types of punishment in for good order tho.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sweetheart, this is an awful situation and for all sorts of reasons you shouldn't put up with this.

I realise that this isn't my buisness but I am very worried at one thing you said. You sai you felt like throwing the hot water over him. Now, for what it is worth I would have felt the same thing. I'm sure that everyone on MN would have felt the same. None of us could condemn you for that feeling.

But think what might happen if he provokes you in this awful way and you do snap. The courts could very well take his side (they shouldn't but they very well might) and then you could end up in prison and your children with him.

I'm honestly not saying this to hurt you or upest you in any way but can't you see how he is pushing you to the edge? An you wouldn't be the wonderful person that we know you are if you were not human, and human beings can crack.

Take the very greatest care of yourself and please think about this an do something about this awful situation.

That's a terrific post, hmb.
Just want to add my mcg of opinion to everyone else, jampots. His behavior is totally out of of order.