If you've been with dp/dh for a few years - are you still physically attaracted/having sex?

[powerpoints]

That's all i'm wondering really. Does the initial attraction last and how importnat do you think it is to feel some sexual desire for your other half?

Poor you powerpoints What is his explanation? It's totally unacceptable for an adult to leave poo marks in the bed. I'm not surprised you don't want to have sex - quite apart from the turn-off aspect, I think I'd be worried he was going to give me a UTI!

have to say the skid marks in the bed hasn't happend for a few years but still find pants like it from time to time. Didn't notice nat smells int he restaurant - we were outside. For me the worst bit is that he just put the shitty pants in the washing, god knows what they has been like by tht eime we'd got home. We were staying in avery hot place too and the apartment had no air conditioning so got very hot. It's true i do often imagine this situation. there are many other issues in our relationship too unfort. Really like and love him as a friend but the thought of doing any more than cuddling, is not good

Sorry Abetadad - i did warn you!!

Thx

This is like a car crash. I knew I shouldn't but I still had to look.

I think you've got to be straight with him, get over your embarressment and tell him you find it hard to think of him in a sexy way when you are faced with this 'situation'.

15 years. still at it whenver opportubity arises. ie not that often! kids are old enough to know we have a sex life...and have finely tuned antenna IYKWIM.

He might have piles you know. Very common after a bout of diarrhoea. He may wipe himself but if the piles 'pop out' then that'll be where the poo comes from.

You need to have a talk. Just say you've noticed it in his washing and are concerned. Say that if he carries on dirtying his pants, you may have to bring the subject matter up with other people (think of mutual friends) to find out if it's normal or not.

That should frighten him into cleaning more thoroughly!

Have mentioned it to him several times and now just throw away the offending undrwear - making me cringe again - urgghh

Powerpoint, agree you need to speak with him, bad personal hygiene is a major turn off. Does he realise that that is why you struggle to fancy him?

In answer to your question:
Been together 13 years, married for 6yrs, still fancy and love each other, have found that sex life has got better in last few years than it has ever been.

Been together 13 years
Frequency of sex varies greatly depending on stress/migraines etc

I think in your situation i would probably be quite put off too.

I have been wth my DH for 12 and a bit years..we got narried last year. Yes I still fancy him and we still have a great (and frequent) sex life

Powepoint - but what is hs explanation of all the other poo times? is he embarrassed?

why do YOU have to deal with the pants at all? Tell him to throw them away (and not in kitchen or bathroom bin) himself!!

yes he is a bit embarrassed when i mention it but i think it's the least of our problems really. Not sure i'd fancy him even if he was cleaner!He is a nice person and kind (most of the time) and sort of brotherly but i've never really enjoyed sex much with him, never really felt that comfortable and relaxed. Not like i have a a couple fo other relationships where sex was fab and felt very comfortable and desired too

can I ask why you chose to get with him...after the initial sex etc???

We've been together for over 7 years now. It was definitely a lust thing to start with, completely couldn't get enough of each other. Now it's much more variable.

We had a drought when dp was depressed and on meds though things have picked up from that and we are ttc. I still fancy him generally, look at him and think "Yes please" though he's gained quite a bit of weight lately but I find myself turned off at times by his behaviour, I think that he is frequently inconsiderate and that, more than anything puts the dampeners on things for me. What I would say though is that it's an interesting dynamic as the more that we have sex the less the little irritations bug me, the less sex they have the more annoyed I get.