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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Really stupid things you and your DP/DH have had massive rows about....

162 replies

PuppyMonkey · 06/03/2009 13:17

Me and DP had a corker last night - he thumped the wall and strode off to bed early in a huff. The works. Because...... wait for it.....

We were watching that Red Riding thing on TV and I was trying to explain the plot. And he wasn't understanding and I was getting very impatient telling him the same thing over and over. It got REALLY HEATED.

Honestly, I nearly felt like divorcing him except we've never actually got married.

We kissed and made up this morning though.

OP posts:
DrTrillianAstra · 07/03/2009 22:58
paolosgirl · 07/03/2009 23:01

DIY here too. Nearly 2 years I've had my conservatory, and because he wouldn't pay for someone to lay the floor it's still not finished.

A major one last week (nothing to do with my PMT, oh no) because he went to the supermarket with a list that I had carefully written out, ignored it, bought hardly any fruit but extra carrots and potatos which I didn't need, tins of beef ravioli (as 'emergencies - wtf, we never eat that stuff) and stuffed everything in the bags on top of loaves of bread which were then squashed. Half of the ingredients for the meals I was making were missing and the kids didn't have enough for their packed lunches. All he needed to do was follow the list - but he "ran out of time".

"I ran out of time" is a favourite expression of his. I'm having it engraved on his headstone.

DrTrillianAstra · 07/03/2009 23:05

Did he leave your carefully written-out list in the trolley for an MNer to find? Would it be identifiable as a list written for a possibly-not-entirely-competent-DH rather than a list written for yourself?

MeMySonAndI · 07/03/2009 23:05

My then soon to be H finished our relationship because... I disagreed on the directions to get to a museum.

no shouting, no violence, just a lot of sulking on his side for a couple of days and that was it.

Now I have taken the pink clouds away of my head, I'm happy to see that I have been spared a bad time. Life would have been misery with such a control insecure freak.

paolosgirl · 07/03/2009 23:09

It was even written out in aisle order! When I suggested to him that if he'd not bought the beef ravioli, carrots, potatos and other items which weren't on the list, and just concentrated on getting what was on the list, he wouldn't have "run out of time". That brought on a sulk, and then he did his usual "is your period due, because if it is I shan't waste my time arguing with you"

It was due actually, but I certainly wasn't admitting to it!

DrTrillianAstra · 07/03/2009 23:21

In aisle order? That is dedicated! He should be ashamed of himself for not managing to get everything on the list under those circumstances.

Exciting extras were always expected when my dad used to do the shopping, but carrots? Where's the fun in that?

BitOfFun · 07/03/2009 23:31

I only remember ever arguing about twice- very drunk, and about some ridiculous manifestation of who loved the other person more. Pointless, and meant that a shag was off the cards...

DrTrillianAstra · 07/03/2009 23:33

Not mssice, but sometimes I will complain to DP that we don't talk enough, jsut sit on computers.

Strangely it always seems to coincide with nights when MN is quiet...

dizzydixies · 07/03/2009 23:37

sellotape

we argued over sellotape as he wasn't helping me right when doing some Christmas wrapping

needless to say, I now wrap all on my own when he's on late shift

ChippingIn · 08/03/2009 01:00

PMSL - this is THE best thread I have read in ages, I really haven't laughted so much in a long time... so, either you guys are brilliant or I need to get out more... (please don't answer that one!! )

kickassangel · 08/03/2009 01:07

how to cut open a jacket potato

FleurDelacour · 08/03/2009 01:42

We argue about packing suitcases- DH thinks a shirt is folded properly if it just squished up. And he just put shoes in right next to clean clothes rather than in bags to protect the clothes from shoe polish and grime. After many arguments over the years I now pack the suitcases.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 08/03/2009 01:45

him putting dirty dishes on the part of the worktop where we prepare food/by the kettle, rather than over by the sink ready to be washed.

drives me INSANE. our kitchen is a shoebox as it is and there is only one small bit of worktop for each task. aargh!

Gmarksthespot · 08/03/2009 03:30

Making sandwiches.

dh makes each person's sandwich completely then starts on the next one. He can't butter all slices of bread then place ham and so on. it drives me insane. This is then followed by him leaving the lid off the butter, ham out and so on whilst he eats his sandwich.

he is coming back to it.

aargh

MadamDeathstare · 08/03/2009 03:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ABetaDad · 08/03/2009 08:28

paolosgirl - now this 'lists' thing has been a severe bone of contention in our house. I find it such a very controlling thing to do. My wife does it all the time and I am afraid to say it has resulted in some real blow ups.

Its not just shopping lists but lists of tasks she deems are mine. She especially does it when she is going out for the day - its like a set of instructions to keep me going while she can't be there in person. I feel I have to report back to her at the end of the day on my progress.

Does anyone else give lists to their DH/DP and does it cause arguements? Any blokes out there get from their DW/DP? I just want to check its not just me reacting weirdly to it.

bronze · 08/03/2009 08:32

I don't do lists for DH. I did try once but he complained a lot so I stopped. So now he does nothing useful and none of the things he promises he would do instead.

Othersideofthechannel · 08/03/2009 08:53

kickassangel, what are the different ways of cutting open a jacket potato?

I give DH lists, he prefers it this way. I would rather just tell him that I've stuck a load of washing on and he needs to deal with it when the machine stops but his mind is always on other things and we both know he'll forget.

But I see your point, it irritates me a little when he gives me a list of things to do when he's already asked me because I know I wasn't going to forget. But it's not a big issue, he's only treating me how he would wish to be treated.

paolosgirl · 08/03/2009 09:25

Yes, occasionally I leave DH a list - just a few wee things that I would like done (like my conservatory floor). 9 times out of 10 it doesn't get done, because, yes, that's right he "ran out of time". What that actually means is "I'm not doing it, because you've suggested it, and I'm not being told what to do" - he's becoming a stubborn git in his old age.

MuppetsMuggle · 08/03/2009 10:08

this mornings row was over the remote control - how he lost it - blaming me as usual, even tho the idiot threw it in the green bin along with the papers

DrTrillianAstra · 08/03/2009 10:40

A shopping list is an important list - unless you think you can remember 20 or 30 items if they are just told to you. (that's why people write shopping lists for themselves)

Lists of jobs to do: do you object to being given it in list form or would you object if you were just told 'I'd really appreciate it if you could do X, Y, and Z'?

ABetaDad · 08/03/2009 10:51

I do not mind being asked to do things. I do stuff without being asked

Its the fact that she secretly starts building 'the list' about 3 - 4 days before she goes out for the day that causes the arguement. Its the tension of the buildup and 'the meeting' we have just before she goes where I get my final instructions and then the debrief after she comes back.

If she just asked - I would do it.

paolosgirl · 08/03/2009 12:33

I bet you wouldn't - I bet there are plenty of things she's asked you to do and you've not done them, which is probably why she writes a list in the first place.

Whoops - am I being sexist there?

loupiots · 08/03/2009 13:18

We had a humdinger about the correct "phases of the moon". WTF?

Expiry dates and best before dates seem to have a direct line to the divorce courts in our house. I'm in the "it's fine to eat" camp and he's in the "throw it out the second past midnight" camp.

Towels on the floor (usually me ), not washing up properly (again, me). If it is so irritating - do it yourself, don't moan at me about it. Oh dear, I can feel my blood pressure rising.

ABetaDad · 08/03/2009 13:49

paolosgirl - maybe