I'd like some outside perspective (possibly IABU)

[ChugglyPig]

OK, brief background..

relatively new relationship (approx 4 mths) but looking fairly stable and possibly long term. All is going swimmingly except for 1 thing which could possibly be my problem

I don't trust people very well and a couple of times he hasn't been round when he said he would or not turned up til v late. and he never shows up less that 3 hours after he finishes work even though he shows up unwashed and looking 'straight from work'

Yesterday he said he was going to see someone, I'll call that person 'X'. 'X' happened to phone me later in the day and blatently didn't know anything about my boyfriends visit. Raised it with boyfriend and he said well he hadn't told 'X' yet which I thought was odd. It has since all blown up because he's hurt and offended I don't trust him.

I tried to explain I don't trust anybody very easily and it'll take time but I also think he was disproportionally angry/upset.

I think it's normal to be suspicious if someones plans seem to not be true but am fully aware it's not to imply you don't trust someone.

We've kind of agreed to 'forget it' but it's obvious that things aren't quite right between us.

Not sure how to fix it and feel like it was all my fault as everything was going really well.

Thoughts please.

I agree with solidgold (and I never thought id hear myself say that) Actions do speak much louder than words.

I do think it is a bit soon for him to have jumped to the "not making an effort stage" DH drives me mad because he is such a slob now 10+ years, kids & marriage down the line but at the 4 month stage would always have been clean, well dressed and smelling good. It may be he is just a slob some guys are....but is that something you can live with?

I do think the whole "hes not that into you" thing is quite enlightening - I know when I heard about the book origially I looked back on past relationships and it was like a light went on. All the times you make an excuse and find a logical reason for things...well men arent that complicated are they?

I used to think that the book 'He's just not that into you' was a disgusting piece of misogynist condescension (writing a whole book to state the bleeding obvious from the premise that women are too thick and desperate to understand it).
Till I spent some time on the relatinship threads here and saw what some women will put up with because they've been taught that they are nothing without a partner.

I dont think women are too stupid to see whats in front of them at all I just think sometimes you dont want to see so you find "reasons" why he does things instead of thinking "look he just cant be bothered and I want more than this, so lets move on" (I hasten to add thats not advice to the op)

I think a lot of women sell themselves short but people rarely post in relationships to say "Im so happy, its going so well hes lovely" etc you just dont need advice when things are going well do you.

no the planned time is 8(ish) he's never bang on time. he's not that sort of person but always calls on his way to ask if I need anything and tell me how long he's going to be

haven't resolved the 'X's house thing. text her the next day but she hasn't text me back. I haven't mentioned it to her at all for obvious reasons.

All I can say, Chuggly, is he must be a phenomenal shag for you to not have told him to go and get his baths elsewhere.