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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Poor Comic Book Store Guy

28 replies

StayOutOfTheLight · 26/02/2009 14:47

For those of you that are interested...

I didn't meet up with Comic Book Store Guy today, I just couldn't do it I feel a bit guilty though as he was really understanding (even though I only cancelled an hour before we were due to meet ). I couldn't bring myself to be straight with him so I just said I was ill.

He later text me to ask if there was anything I needed doing, any medicine I wanted him to get me from the shop etc ...

Bless him, he'll make a woman very happy one day I hope. He's too kind hearted for me

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 26/02/2009 14:52

lol
oh thats harsh only giving him an hour's notice!
what will you do now?
block him on msn/phone etc
or just ignore him and hope that he takes the hint?
i do think that you've done the right thing in not meeting him if you werent sure
i wouldnt have

BitOfFun · 26/02/2009 14:53

Awwww, no I feel sorry for him

You cant just block him...say an ex reared his ugly head and you are all confused or something?

wotulookinat · 26/02/2009 14:58

He sounds a bit stalkerish to me. I don't think he'll get the hint, so be blunt. Don't even try the 'I don't think we are right for each other' route because I bet he says 'but we haven't met yet so how do you know'. I've been there, trust me!
Just say you have met someone else or have got back with an ex. he'll probably call you a bitch and/or cry but then you can both move on.

StayOutOfTheLight · 26/02/2009 15:59

I'm not sure what to do now to be honest. He is a bit sickly and full on.

Like last night he asked me if I'd been to the theatre lately and said he was looking at what's on. I said "seen anything you fancy?" and he replied "besides you?" please!

And he's already trying to arrange summer day trips for our kids etc.

I think he's desperate (not for me, but for anyone)

OP posts:
wotulookinat · 26/02/2009 16:20

Steer clear.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 26/02/2009 16:39

stayoutofthelight
you told him you were poorly so hopefully unless hes thick will leave you alone
dont even answer 1 text if you want shot
and dont feel bad you havent met him so owe him nothing
and yes that arranging things for the kids 6 months ahead is well offputting
have you got a date fixed to meet the sexy
guy yet?

lilacclaire · 26/02/2009 18:35

Oh dear you need to be honest with him.
He sounds like a genuine guy who is taking you as a genuine person as well......

StayOutOfTheLight · 26/02/2009 18:40

ComicBookStoreGuy text me a minute ago to suggest he comes around to my house tomorow. He said he has a book on the galaxy for my son and he suggested I could make him a nice cup of tea. He said it in a jokingly way but to be honest, I think he's missing the whole "cosy wife" set up and he's doing anything to get that back, no matter who it's with.

Aseriouslyblondemoment, unfortunately not met up with Sexy yet. He suggested going for a coffee 'sometime' and stressed we could decide on a neutral place to meet up. This impressed me because all I've had so far from this site is people saying "well, tell me your address and I'll pick you up ... " yeah right!

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 26/02/2009 18:53

lol
have you replied?
Sexy sounds a better bet not just cos hes sexy lol
by saying 'sometime' hes indicating interest without being desp.or needy which is good
and yes have had the address thing tooindeed!

wotulookinat · 26/02/2009 18:55

oh god. Have you replied to comicbook guy?

PottyCock · 26/02/2009 18:57

is this the guy with the dragon posters or am i getting mixed up?

StayOutOfTheLight · 26/02/2009 19:51

Yes comicbookstoreguy is the one withe the dragon posters and the carnivorous plants

Shouldn't really take the piss as he does sound like a nice guy at heart. Just not for me!

Not replied to him yet, I'm going to try and put him off on msn tonight.

Last night he asked me if I liked car boot sales and markets. I took it as an opportinity to show how incompatible we are by saying "God no!! hate them!"" and he replied "there are some good ones, we should have a ride up to (says name of 'ace' market) one weekend ... with the kids... "

He was telling me all about his daughter yesterday and I was totally cringing when he started describing how he'd bought her pads and 'wipes' for when she starts her periods

He tried very hard, I'll give him that.

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 26/02/2009 19:53

OMG!
stay clear
end of.

wotulookinat · 26/02/2009 20:01

Yes, he has tried hard, and he's even tried to tell you (albeit in a strange way!) what a good dad he is. BUT - he has come on waaaaaaaaay too strong. Maybe you ought to tell him that? For the sake of any future relationship that he starts.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 26/02/2009 20:15

wotulookinat he would view that as contact tho and see it as a good sign

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 26/02/2009 21:04

It is only fair to tell him, politely, that you don't want any further contact from him. Saying that an ex has reappeared is not a bad idea - though there is the possibility I suppose of him seeing that you are still on the dating site and bleating.
Better just to say something like 'I've been thinking it over and I don't think we have enough in common, all the best, bye.' and not responding to any further texts or messages.

SoupDragon · 26/02/2009 21:06

FGS just tell him the truth.

wotulookinat · 28/02/2009 10:52

have you had contact with him?

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 28/02/2009 10:56

Poor bloke, imagine how you would feel in his position. I hope you ave been honest with him.

JJsandcat · 28/02/2009 13:44

Can understand what you mean. He's looking for the girlfriend experience. Never mind who with. Poor chap.

Don't forget, you don't date out of pity, you date to see who's right for you!

I'd be honest and say you don't feel ready for dating and it's just too much. Don't go on to say he's nice and all that or he'll think he still has a chance. Just say you need time to heal and get your head around your life and don't want a man there to mess up your focus.

Good luck with Sexy. I've never really been into pretty boys as I've always thought they have such massive egos but hey ho, maybe he'll turn out to be nice. Keep us posted.

StayOutOfTheLight · 28/02/2009 14:18

No Sexy isn't a pretty boy, I hate them too lol

Well I was chatting to comic book store guy on msn last night. I really wanted to give him a chance because he does sound 'nice' and genuine.

But unfortunately he blew it He just can't keep a conversation going unless its about one on his obsessions.

When it came to a bit of a standstill he said "is there anything you'd like to ask me or talk about?" so out of desperation I just said

"Ok, random question ... what would you do if you were in a bar and someone spilt your drink on purpose?" so he replied

"I'd tell him to grow up. I'm not into fighting but mark my words, I can defend myself if I need to". It's a good job this wasn't face to face because I would have pissed myself laughing if he'd said that to me in a real conversation!

Getting fed up, I said to him "ask me something, whatever you want to ask, first thing that comes into your head"

He asked a couple of 'are you romantic? do you like receiving gifts?" questions etc and then said "this is a bit cheeky but big knickers or small?"

I'm just going to block him now, no point in dragging it out further.

On the plus side, I have a 'date' with Sexy for next week. Not hugely excited because Sexy has morphed into "Anarchist" in the past couple of days but for some reason I'm still interested so I'm going to give it a go.

He's much more realistic about the whole thing. Says we're meeting as friends first and foremost and its not a huge deal. If something comes of it, great, if not, we have both gained a friend from it etc!

Better than Comic book store guy who is planning our bloody lives into pensionerhood with talk of buying caravans together etc!!

OP posts:
cheerfulvicky · 28/02/2009 15:06

Yes, poor comic book store guy. I always think you should tell it straight to these people to give them a chance to see where they went wrong, but I know I wouldn't have the guts if I was in your shoes And I'm not sure how receptive he'd be to that, some people don't want to know about their failings.

I'm liking the sound of Sexy/Anarchist. Nothing wrong with a good conspiracy theory! Actually in a low level way I agree with everything he mentions, does that make me a bit bonkers too?

StayOutOfTheLight · 28/02/2009 15:17

Cheefulvicky, so do I! I think that is what is keeping me interested. Like you, its a very low level feeling I have on these things and I never over think them like he obviously does but I do agree with him in principle...not about 911 though but with society etc, I think he has a point!

OP posts:
cheerfulvicky · 28/02/2009 17:08

Yeah, I'm the same. Maybe that makes us mainstream anarchists, dunno
I think of it in the same league as Christianity; I'm like the lots of Christians who believe quietly without shoving it down you throat. And then there are one or two who have to be all melodramatic and forceful about it, and let the side down...

SugarHoneyIcedTea · 28/02/2009 17:12

God he sounds like a nightmare. Too sickly sweet for my liking. Anarchist sounds like he could be interesting fun.