I must start by saying I love my dh, deeply. We have spent 7 years together building trust, intimacy, and a partnership that works.
However, we have hit a rocky patch lately. Normal, I am sure, but the thing is, I am suddenly aware, more than ever, that this is all because we are so fundamentally different (shocking, I know, but it has actually taken me this long to realise face this).
The big difference between us is: I like chaos, have bounds of energy and patience, and am not so fussed by a need for order/organisation.
He, on the other hand, prefers tidiness and a 'quiet life' (how I am beginning to dread this phrase), and has decreasing energy levels and motivation.
This causes endless frustration on my part, and anxiety on his. He told me the other day when we attempted to talk about it that he felt constantly on edge, waiting for me to have a go about something. And it is true, I freely admit, I am constantly nagging him.
An example: Ds1 (nearly 4yo) will hardly do anything with him. IMO, this is becaus he doesn't get much attention from DH when they are together (again, I am not having a go here, I think this is due to DH having less confidence with ds1 than ds2 from the start). So, before Xmas, I suggested they go to Soccatots together to spend some time together (DH v keen on football). After a few times of suggesting this, I showed him the website and we looked at the pics. he made some placatory noises and mumbled a bit, wasn't too interested, but said he'd give it a go in Jan. I wrote the phone number on our bulletin board... and there it has stayed. Mentioned it a few more times. Rang up to find out a bit more info. Passed info on to DH.... Finally rang woman, handed him the phone, and they went last weekend, both came home beaming, and they went back this weekend, so result. BUT. I know if I don't stop sorting these things, he won't ever do anything for himself (apart from houseowrk, which he helps out a lot with... because he likes a tidy, organised house -- he will even tidy toys WHILE THE KIDS ARE STILL PLAYING WITH THEM).
It is the same with his friends -- they ring to go out for a drink (we recently moved to a more remote area, so it is quite sweet that they are making the effor to stay in touch), he never rings back, but complains he has no social life.
OK, I will stop ranting and post now, but the idea is that I am going to try and have a chat with him again later (as tension levels are nearly unbearable), and I need some advice as to how to sort this all out without sounding like a harpy.
Any help very much appreciated.