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Original poster

Bi curious DP.

57 replies

notsobroadminded · 19/02/2009 20:32

This actually happened ages ago,weirdly about the time that there were loads of 'bum sex'for women threads about.(and the night I manage to pluck up the courage to raise this it's trolls a go go! please feel free to test my cred/ignore this )

In brief.Gulp.My DP has admitted bi curious ness.

We have always acknowledged that sexuality is fluid etc,and I can talk the talk being all understanding about it blah blah blah...

but he said that 'in other circumstances' he 'would probably experiment'.

I cant help it ,I feel sick...really sick

I wonder whether really he is gay and cannot pretend any longer and is adjusting gradually?

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 19/02/2009 21:02

OP, my brother is bi. He has never slept with another man though he has kissed a few.

He is married to a woman and has children. He would never cheat on her and is married, I'm sure, for the rest of forever.

There is a big difference between an idle curiosity/interest and a need to experiment.

I know you're reeling from this- I would have handled it badly were it my dh- but it doesn't mean that your dh will forever yearn/regret/dream/miss out.

My brother says it's the same as his career. He thinks he might liked to have been a chef, but he's not and it doesn't matter really. He is in love which is all he wants.

RiaParkinson · 19/02/2009 21:02

AF i think that is a wee bit hasty

homicidalmatriarch i agree

Original poster
notsobroadminded · 19/02/2009 21:03

Thanks for all your posts.Sorry if I am posting a bit randomly.

I think that I think he probably is gay based on lots of other things awell.Subtler things that I cannot quite put my finger on.

How for example do you think your partners perceive your lust? My DP insists that I lust after all sorts of things and flatly wont believe me when I tell him 'not really'

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 19/02/2009 21:04

maybe hasty, but my true opinion

not meaning to cause offence

Original poster
notsobroadminded · 19/02/2009 21:06

Overanalysing

Seriously though I can be prone to that.V. relieved to hear what you said about pausing

OP posts:
homicidalmatriach · 19/02/2009 21:07

Sort of sounds like you don't fancy him all that much or are not interested in the same things. If you are very much a vanilla mish-possish girl then you are not going to last with a banging off the walls with any man, woman or beast type.

KerryMumbles · 19/02/2009 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScorpiowithabigS · 19/02/2009 21:08

So you are not happy with him trying anything out then? Tell him that. He sounds like he knows its not an option, as he said in 'diff circumstances' - meaning he is happy with you - if you weren't in his life then he may try it. So different to wanting to try it now whilst with you iyswim.

Original poster
notsobroadminded · 19/02/2009 21:09

showofhands,that's interesting,thanks.

OP posts:
RiaParkinson · 19/02/2009 21:13

af so if a woman fancies a bit of dirty love what does that make her??

noddyholder · 19/02/2009 21:13

being gay is not all about sex so if he is then there will be other elements of the whole 'lifestyle' which he will want to experience,or maybe he just assumes that because he enjoyed the bum stuff he must have some latent homosexual tendencies.do you know which it is?

Original poster
notsobroadminded · 19/02/2009 21:16

AAH i cant keep up.

I fancy him,but I do not LUST after him.My overanalysing prob gets in the way too.

I do not want to go down the strap on route.

We have children.If he was gay I would have to seperate for both our sakes.

OP posts:
Original poster
notsobroadminded · 19/02/2009 21:17

not sure i get what you mean noddy?

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 19/02/2009 21:17

Unfortunately it's trolltastic here tonight too NotSoBroadMinded! Hope you can discuss it with him though- good luck.

BCNS · 19/02/2009 21:18

have you actually asked him.. ??

Original poster
notsobroadminded · 19/02/2009 21:22

No,I hav'nt asked him. I have been pathetic and accused him,like that would make him feel comfortable enough to confide in me?

No I am too scared to have the conversation.

OP posts:
ScorpiowithabigS · 19/02/2009 21:23

Don't be scared, just bring it up in a calm way.

noddyholder · 19/02/2009 21:24

Well being gay is also about having a same sex relationship in every sense not just the sex. Or maybe he thinks he must have gay tendencies because he enjoyed the bum sex so much when he could simply just want omore of that with you.You do sound like you have had your suspicions in the past what made you think this?

Original poster
notsobroadminded · 19/02/2009 21:34

The 'he is gay 'thing is def coming more from me than him.(He has not /would not call himself gay,nor even bi sexual)

Things that make me think he might not be straight.

He is a bit flirty with gay men eg a bit lewd,responsive,body language (ha ha ha this is all starting to look so straight forward now i am writing it down!)

he just seems more relaxed around gay men.He can be almost hostile in some social situations.

He thought the vibrator i chose once was a bit small,and not veiny/ throbby enough lol

OP posts:
Original poster
notsobroadminded · 19/02/2009 21:39

I dont want to get into mad cliches for fear of exposing myself,but he is a bit limp wristed.

This is not elaborate trolling

OP posts:
noddyholder · 19/02/2009 21:39

That does seem to indicate that he wants to try the whole scene

BCNS · 19/02/2009 21:39

was the vibe for you or him?

is he only flirty with gay men.. or just a general flirt?

AnyFucker · 19/02/2009 21:42

ria, I don't understand your question ????

I am getting a bit about this thread...

ScorpiowithabigS · 19/02/2009 21:43

limp wristed???

noddyholder · 19/02/2009 21:44

So he is limp wristed is more comfortable socially with gay men and has suggested if it wasn't for you he'd experiment?you need to talk imho

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