DP says he thinks I have put on too much weight and am not as attractive any more.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I am feeling very grim at the moment.

DP has been making comments about what I eat (say if I finish all my dinner etc) and saying 'greedy' and other helpful comments. Yesterday I asked him if he genuinely thinks I am fat or if he was just joking (oh lolol how funny). He says that I am more overweight than I was when we met and he doesn't find me as attractive as he used to.

As you can imagine I am completely deflated, i kind of knew he was thinking this but I am completely demoralised to disover he is this shallow. He could be 18 stone and covered in scales and I would still feel the same as i always have.

The silly thing is that I do not think I am fat. When he met me I was a size 8 (achieved from watching what I ate and a lot of exercise). yes, I have put on weight, I am now a size 10-12. Bearing in mind I am six foot I am not exactly obese.

Fair enough I have changed physically and exercise and fitness has taken a back seat, and perhaps I should remedy that, but I am pissed off with him and feel resentful. Don't really know what to say to him (other than loud swearing). Needless to say he is normally lovely and wonderfully supportive of me, and has always been confidence boosting, compliments etc. So is a bit shocking that he has said this, i don't know whether he is (a) a misogynist that should be ignored/told to eff off or (b) he has a point. Thoughts anyone??

not read it all. but i do know i'm 5ft10inch. and anything under a 14 and i look ill. my face looks gaunt and ribs and hips everywhere.

how the heck you can be considered overweight is a joke.

i think you should bugger off for sure.

and i dont know if it's been said already. but i think this man is bad for you.....and heading down an ugly road of control and abuse.

anyman who tells you what YOUR body should look like and wether or not your being greedy by eating your dinner is trying to be controlling in my book.

Couldn't you solve part of the problem by having a sexy new makeover? So much more fun than exercising...

Thanks again for all lovely replies. yes, DPs mum bollocked him, basically, and then bought DP's dad to the phone to have a word as well. Bless my in laws. Shame that a mdidle aged man needs to have his parents tell him off, but still, at least they were on my side

Ormirian - yes, i did love running, and I woulsd love to get back into it, however when i was running a lot before I was living in a small town in Devon, so used to run round the harbour, along cliff paths and on the beach. I now live in the middle of Gloucester so it's (a) not as pretty and (b) not as safe. I could shlepp in the car to the Cotswolds but that is not as easy to fit in the working day. Will have to think of something though as I would like to do it again.

Elmoandella - yes, i know ut comes across that he is a bully, however he is emphatically not like that usually, that is why I am so gutted. he is usually very complimentary, saying my eyes look pretty for example, and encouraging me to get dressed up and go out with my friends. Plus I know what to look out for - my rotten XP used to make horrible comments by stealth, never like me going out, snooped in my phone etc. Sod that for a game of soldiers, I am not putting up with that nonsense again. I will be telling DP this. Thank you for your concern, though