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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How long before you lived with your DP/DH ?

75 replies

fruitycake · 17/02/2009 16:16

I'm just wondering because I have been with my DP for almost 4 years now and it seems like one excuse after another when it comes to him moving in. It does get me down. So how was it for everyone else? Was anyone elses dp this scared of commitment?

OP posts:
fruitycake · 17/02/2009 16:38

He is younger than me, he was 19 when we met so can understand why he wouldn't want to move in immediately but he's 23 now and I think he still believes he's too young. He live's with his parents.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 17/02/2009 16:41

i agree with Nab

i wouldn't be hanging around much longer

MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 16:41

DP and I have been together 6 months and in the process of moving into our house.

NAB09 · 17/02/2009 16:44

You know what, fruity? It really doesn't matter how long others waited. If you are not happy, you are not happy.

I would have married my husband a lot sooner than it took him to propose but he had his reasons for why he waited. Never told me them until later though!

I also asked him the day we met if he wanted to get married and some point though not necessarily to me. My last BF really didn't want too and I wasn't wasting any more time with a commitment phobe.

fruitycake · 17/02/2009 16:45

I've always believed it's been me and that I've always dreamed of a whirlwind romance and that it doesn't always happen that way. He will be earning more in April so if he thinks of another excuse then that really will be the end.
I had to wait over 3 years for him to propose and I think I probably pushed him into that too as I wanted some kind of commitment from him.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfGhosts · 17/02/2009 16:46

What can I say, SoWhat, I'm a sucker for a really HUGE......

smile

2rebecca · 17/02/2009 17:16

I'm independant so wouldn't move in with someone unless I was marrying them, especially with current legislation that gives people who live together similar rights and obligations to married people. I think moving in with someone is as big a committment as getting married. After 4 years I think I would either have got married or broken up.

PeachyHasABrokenKeyboardSorry · 17/02/2009 17:20

4 weeks but we both needed somewhere to go- had split from fiance and he needed out from his parents

situations vary I think

trixiethepixie · 17/02/2009 17:25

About 9 months but I practically lived at his before I 'officially' moved in

CaptainKarvol · 17/02/2009 17:29

5 years. We had a long distance relationship for a long time, then lived in the same place in different flats before buying a house together. There was a time (when we lived in the same city but he still wasn't ready to commit to moving in) that I questioned the relationship. A lot came down to his opinion that sex before marriage is wrong. I blame the parents, you know... (PS now together for 15 years and married for 6 of them, very happily).

castille · 17/02/2009 17:36

2.5 years between our first date and our first flat

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine · 17/02/2009 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Pinkchampagne · 17/02/2009 17:43

Blimey, I am feeling a bit slow looking at these posts! I really don't feel a huge rush to live with DP though. We both have our own houses, are both going through divorces atm, and I have only been in my own place just under 2 years. Trying to justify myself here for being a slow mover!!

NAB09 · 17/02/2009 17:49

If you are happy, then leave it.

Don't have to justify anything to us!!

ChasingSquirrels · 17/02/2009 17:49

we were living together before we got together - we had known each other for a year and just started a house share with 3 others, got together and moved bedrooms a day later. got married after 7 years, split up 10 yrs after that. Ho hum.

PeppermintPatty · 17/02/2009 17:55

18 months

nuttygirl · 17/02/2009 17:57

13 months. Would have been longer but I was fed up of living in my student house.

MrsMattie · 17/02/2009 17:58

3 years

jeminthecity · 17/02/2009 17:59

14 years

jeminthecity · 17/02/2009 18:00

Sorry, moved in together within a few months. Been together ever since

sunandmoon · 17/02/2009 18:03

a week!

married after 5 years

still madly in love 13 years later

fruitycake · 17/02/2009 18:14

Where did you all meet these men? I really have been patient and abit of a mug to be honest. I think I need to sort my life out. Thank you for making me realise it.

OP posts:
lilacclaire · 17/02/2009 18:21

1 Year, would have been sooner if not for the boring practicalities

NAB09 · 17/02/2009 18:22

We met through a pen friend club.

Rindercella · 17/02/2009 18:26

Our first 'official' date was 10 years ago today We moved in together in Sept 2001, so that'd be about 18 months.