Anyones MIL go a bit strange since they married

[sleepyeyes]

DH mother is a retired woman who seems very proper and well mannered.
DH and I married a few months back and ever since then she has changed a little.

Today during our visit she shocked me a few times.

1. When she told me I wouldn't be a career woman and a mother, she just wouldn't allow it. WTF I will do as I please!

1. We were talking about my family being practicing catholics and the fact that I am not. She looked straight at FIL and said very loudly 'well of course not she was having sex before they got married.'

I was a bit and so was FIL. Neither my DH nor I have ever spoke about our sex life to her!

I know it must sound petty but we are moving next month to a house 3 door down from them I'm a bit worried what she might come out with next or what she will tell the neighbors.

DH has just told me that she and his ex-wife used to talk about there sex life together.

I wouldn't mind if she had always been like this but the change is bizarre.

Has anyone else MIL changed after they got married?

[lessonlearned]

ooooh gawd!!! It's all hands to the pump with the house then?
If it's going to be a joint venture (I expect it makes economic sense) then you need a word with DH and agree to decide boundaries with him before letting it all happen with MIL at the helm!!!
He is used to indulging his DPs and wont even notice your discomfort unless you spell it out. It's best to do it now before it spirals out of control. TBH I think she means well but might go over the top trying too hard.

[mamas12]

Just thought of a way out of moving in there. It has too many connections to his ex! What about it, sounds perfectly acceptable to me. Anyone else.

[barbiehouse]

she sounds a bit senile to me

[sleepyeyes]

I'm not to worried about the fact he lived there with his ex when we DIY the house it will look COMPLETELY different.

Well I have another idea maybe I need to help them find a new house! They wanted to move but with the downturn they are worried about loosing money as they want to down size and live on the savings.
Currently it might be cheaper to buy land and self build a kit house.
What can you get for about £150K in europe?

Maybe say we never ever want kids (dont think they will believe that but worth a try) so they have no reason to stay put?

[sleepyeyes]

LOL bariehouse she used to work in care homes.
I did wonder if the change in personality was her going senile but she is only in her 60's and DH claims she has always been like this and she is being her normal self.

The odd thing is DH isn't even her favorite son!

Lessons it is very much all hands on deck if it wasn't a terrace we would demolish it, save us all the trouble.

[mamas12]

Would she like to move into it? Is that why all the interest. If so she can take over doing it up and you won't be bothered with it then.

[Fleurlechaunte]

I don't want to scare you OP but your stories really reminded me of this book The Little House the scariest of all MIL stories .

[QwertyQueen]

oh dear - slippery slope!!
My advice would be to not "just accept" any of her outlandish behaviour in the interest of keeping the peace. I speak from experience here - it will get worse! Best put her in her place straight away - firmly but not nastily.

[lizziemun]

lose your door key, so you have to change the locks and don't give her a new key.

[BBW]

I also have a bizarre MIL. I think it comes from my DH being an only child.

She sounds very similar to yours!

I have found over the years the best way to deal with her is look at the funny side.

My friends and family all know horrendous she is, and I dine out on the stories about the next weird/rude/totally outragous behaviour she does. When she is in the middle of somehting totally OTT, I just have a wee laugh inside, thinking how good it will be to tell my friends, as this tops the last story!!.

The other technique I found to work is to call her bluff. If she makes a rude comment, I pretend I didn't hear her, and ask her again what she said. You might find that when she has to repeat herself, she's not too brave. If she is brave enought to repeat her rudeness, ask her what she means in a really sweet way. Then guffaw with laughter at her, by implying shes so ludicrous she must be taking the piss, and compliment her on how funny she is.

Also a bit of light at the end of the tunnel - don't underestimate the power shift once you have a baby!. She will want to be involved with the wee one - and you hold the power as to whether that happens or not. My MIL has been positivley civil for the past 6 months since my daughter was born, as she's too scared I'll reduce the time I have avaliable to take her to see her.

And - sorry another thing, make sure you try to breastfeed - it will really really annoy MIL, as you can scoop the baby back at any time, and slink off to 'feed' the baby in peace. Annoys MIL all the time - I love it !!!

[sleepyeyes]

OK DH and I have had a very long talk about this. We HAVE to move it would be so financially stupid not to.
DH is going to visit before we move and casual mention about being of different generations times have changed, respecting boundaries and that I'm a private person.
The next time she TELLS me how I will be raising our children or talking about sex it will stand up for myself and be clear it just isn't on for her to talk/treat me like this.

BBW the laugh inside method sounds like a good idea too if pulling her up doesn't work I will try it. Intend to breast feed lol I predict our future baby will be easily distracted and a very slow feeder and need to be feed away from everyone.

If she gets worse I will not hesitate to pull back and make it difficult for her to visit, I wont let someone be part of my life and make me miserable. Otherwise I will be starting AIBU threads every other week.

[minko]

You need to watch 'Everybody Loves Raymond', where the mother in law lives over the road. Very funny. Might help you see the funny side. You might need to...

[limp]

WHY DID I AGLOL I have seen everyone loves raymond.
BIL has semi-moved back in and is just like Robert. and FIL is similar to Frank.
Why didn't I ever make that connection before, don't know whether to laugh or cry!

I'm starting to add up all the dots and remembering a few other crazy things like a few months back when during a long car journey with DH and I she started to tell us about the night DH was conceived. And how pissed off the were with DH because he bought me an expensive engagement ring.
At the time I though well they were only looking out for DH after all we had only been together for 12 weeks but now I can see it as controlling, he didn't ask for there approval first.

WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS!

[sleepyeyes]

forgot I had name changed.