Ooooh God I've got a HUGE inappropriate crush!

[FourJays]

Down to bloody facebook obviously!
A boy (and he is a boy - 12 years!!!! younger than me) made friends with me on fb a few months ago. He works at pool where I swim. He was always sweet and friendly but I never paid much attention due to age gap.

He said he's liked me for 6 years and I must admit I'm totally flattered. I love dh but he isn't romantic at all. And then there's some-one sending me very romantic and sexy messages.

Well I obviously got totally drawn in.
DH found messages in the New Year and we had a rough few days.

It's all very silly but I'm totally obsessed now.
I KNOW it's just a fantasy thing and not a real relationship and I've never cheated on dh in 20 years but I just need to know how to get over this. I'm totally addicted to him now. HELP.

Down to bloody facebook obviously!
A boy (and he is a boy - 12 years!!!! younger than me) made friends with me on fb a few months ago. He works at pool where I swim. He was always sweet and friendly but I never paid much attention due to age gap.

He said he's liked me for 6 years and I must admit I'm totally flattered. I love dh but he isn't romantic at all. And then there's some-one sending me very romantic and sexy messages.

Well I obviously got totally drawn in.
DH found messages in the New Year and we had a rough few days.

It's all very silly but I'm totally obsessed now.
I KNOW it's just a fantasy thing and not a real relationship and I've never cheated on dh in 20 years but I just need to know how to get over this. I'm totally addicted to him now. HELP.

The only answer really I guess would be to remove him from your list of friends on facebook. It's really not worth jeopardising your marriage over.

Maybe also find a new pool - put some distance between you both.

Delete him from your fb friends. No good can come of it, you must know that. Are you otherise happy with DH?

Crikey, can never imagine a young man having a crush on me, I'd be sooo flattered though, so I do understand.
That said, you know you have to block him from Facebook and do as Zoec says, try and find a new pool, don't you?

Get rid of Facebook.

Swim somewhere else.

Don't jeopardise your marriage over a website and swimming habit.

Yes, generally happy.

He is not romantic and I thought I'd made my peace with having no romance in my life.
Also DH has had flings in the past so I don't know if it's an element of revenge on my part.

It might help to get some of the ol' romance going on with your husband, can you try scheduling some time together? Valentine day's coming up!

I do know what I have to do but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.

I did buy red undies to wear on Valentines Day!

Yay, go girl

Crumbs - sounds very exciting - offering my sympathy for your difficult situation!!
All the above advice here is absolutely right of course , and you will already know that you should delete him, but at the same time.....I wouldn't help but be extremely flattered and very tempted especially as your DH lacks in the romantic skills!!

I suppose I am just saying "I understand"

Take dh swimming!

DH does come with when we take the kids...... and glares at him over the counter.
Thanks for understanding everyone. I thought I was going to get fleeced for being a hussy.

How do I stop feeling so sad about it though

Aha!
But that's my real question. How to stop feeling like this.

The fantasy is always more attractive than real life, isn't it As you can see here, people can understand how you feel, and as you've posted here, you do want to get over it. That's the most important first step and you've done it!

Try keep yourself busy in other ways in the meantime, it will pass.

Thanks Katsing.

It all feels so childish at my age. I thought I'd left this kind of behaviour in school.

i think if your dh has found out about it, then its up to him to figure out why you are chatting to this bloke. he needs to see what you are missing n your life, and he needs to do something about it.
yes, you do need to stop interacting with this boy, but its unlikely to help if you just go cold turkey. think of it like an obsession over a particular food. just coz someone hides it away in a locked cupboard, doesnt mean you will stop wanting it.

Absolutely right stitch - on all accounts.

Fourjays - Not childish, flattery has a very powerful effect, especially if your DH is less than attentive.
I hope you can work things out, you sound lovely.

Bless you.
You'll have me crying if you're nice to me.

We sorted it out.

No not really.
I mean he does make an effort just not romantically.

For instance, the day after he found out about messaging he sorted me out a pension. Which I suppose is PRACTICAL romantic, if you look really hard - he expects to be with me when we are old. Which is nice I guess.