My dd is getting one of those horrible big earrings that look like sink plungers - help

[tearinghairout]

She is 15.3. She is going out with a nice lad, quiet & well-mannered but he has a bit of a rebellious streak, and he has one of those black earrings about the size of a penny, & the hole in his ear is that big, so I'm told. Then DS told me that DD is getting one too. I didn't believe it because she loves fashion, loves Audrey Hepburn, is small & dainty, but obviously has listened to the bf. Anyway, I asked her, & she tried to hide her earrings, & said she was going up one size in one ear at the moment, & how if she took it out it would go back to a normal sized hole, but she's going to keep it & maybe make it a bit bigger.

This has come as a big shock to me. I told her it looks OK on boys but not girls, it'd look awful with nice clothes etc. & now she's not talking to me.

Am I over-reacting? Has anyone got any advice?

BitofFun, she won't care. She has turned overnight into a teenager, totally self-centred, even missing the school bus is not her fault because she spent half an hour on her make-up, no, it was because her brother failed to make the bus driver wait for her!
My mum used to tell me how disappointed with me she was, but it just used to annoy me.

We did have a convo a few years back about how if the dch got through their exams & didn't get tattoos/pregnant/do drugs then they would get a car (a MN suggestion, someone had done this successfully) BUT I didn't think of unsuitable (to me) piercings.

Anyway, duty calls, I'll be back later. I want to thank those of you who have got these monstrosities for making me think about them in a new light, that they are maybe not the end of the world. Not the first time Mumsnet has given me another point of view.

I know it's not quite the same degree of horror or as obvious, but my mum wouldn't let me get my belly button pierced, and I did it anyway, in secret. I can still remember my BF and I giggling on the train on the way home and staring at our new piercings. My mum did see it, eventually, and went mad. Unfortunately, it went septic and I am left with a scar.

Some lessons you just have to learn yourself. Although clearly when and if this is my dd I will be wailing on the floor, BitofFun's mum style.

tearinghairout on a practical level it is well worth making sure that she is well educated about caring for a piercing that is being stretched. might be worth finding a reputable piercing place to see if someone can talk her through everything. good hygiene is important! they might also be able to get her thinking about whether she really wants to do this now - IME good, reputable tattoo artists and piercers are keen for people to think carefully before committing to anything, especially young people.

it's also worth bearing in mind that it's illegal to pierce someone under the age of 16 - no reputable place will do it so be careful that she knows this. IF she is set on doing this, she might as well do it right.

um not illegal to get ears pierced under 16, stretching is just putting a fractionally larger earring into an existing hole.

Wouldn't it take ages and ages to get your ear streatched to a size that would be noticable? I mean you have to gradually increase the size of the hole, it's not like they do it with a hole punch.

She may well change her mind before it gets really huge.

If not, well I understand what you mean but it is her ear...

Yes, sorry, that was more just general information in case the OP's daughter starts talking about getting more done.

Although I now see that I haven't worded it very clearly!

Wouldn't personally choose flesh tunnels but I don't have a problem with them.

Having said that though, you might want to tell your DD about the friend of mine who went to 44mm for 8 years and ended up in a vicious circle, having to find nearly a grand 5 years ago - so possibly more expensive now - to have reconstructive surgery on them because it was the only way he could get off benefits and get a job

According to this is takes two weeks to go up each size.

Up a whole size every single two weeks is pushing it though! And would still take about 6 months to go right to the top which is an awful long time when you're that age...

My friend had peircings all over him and huge flash tubes, we were on a train once and he decided to take it out to see what his ear looked like and it looked gross and it flipping stank! All the sweat building up around the metal and skin really wasn't plesent, i was sitting the otherside of the carriage and i could smell it, then he took his 12 other piercings out and made us all boak will the smell.

Eurggh, blokes not fussed about cleaning them properly, obviously. Come to think of it, I don't hink DD is... what should you use? When she had her ears pierced we bought special stuff from Claire's but I can't be arsed to go all the way into town just for that. Would TCP do?

AFAIK she's not planning on going up much further - I don't think she'll go up to 'huge' (fingers crossed)

Hedgewitch, thanks. No doubt sane advice. But I still don't want her to have it

plain old salt water will do the trick

If she wants to go into fashion, is it worth pointing out that with a piercing like that, she may not get very far? I can't imagine that they are the sort of piercings that get taken seriously/admired in the fashion world (except dodgy shops round Carnaby Street and Soho) and, given that fashion is so much about the image presented, it might really hinder her chances!

hasnt held gok wan back much in the fashion world

i think most of you are thinking of a hole big enough to fit a tin of beans thru
theres a lot real of pretty jewellery for small flesh tunnels

Show her this. I am sure there will be a nice one out there especially about the type of earrings you are talking about. Hopefully with losts of gory photos.

www.beyondjane.com/Beauty/Skin/How-to-Treat-Stretched-Earring-Holes.189457

my son had both ears done, he took them out a while ago and they are both back to normal, in fact i think that they have almost closed up totally. he doesn't wear anything in either ear.
i'm not telling you not to worry but i found that the less i reacted, the shorter the latest fad went on.

Yeah, I wasn't really thinking about Gok, more about high end/serious fashion. Guess it depends what kind of fashion she wants to work in.

Ask her to try the fake ones, & failing that, I really wouldn't fuss too much over a smallish tunnel.

It should close up fairly well if she gets tired of it - & is sufficiently mainstream now that it is most unlikely to stop her getting jobs!

There was a brief fad for them where I teach amongst the boys. Now they're all wearing pink gloves instead...

I did ask the tunnelled-eared one in my tutor group today - he took his out a few months ago because he decided it was naff - it now looks like a slightly 'pulled' ordinary piercing.

my body is a total mess from things i did when i was a silly cool 16 year old. now im a mum of two saving for laser treatment and looking at a huge medical bill if i am to correct what i did to myself. i dont know what to suggest. maybe show her this thread. what would she think of a tattooed/pierced/scarred mum? thats what her children will have

I've got stretched earlobes, I had them done 12 years ago, and went to a professional body piercer, he stretched them from a standard 0.6mm piercing to a 7mm hole with a tapered rod. It really bloody hurt!

I wore flesh tunnel earrings in them until about 7 or 8 years ago when I got bored of them. Although they've shrunk a little they're still quite big, I honestly wish I'd never had them done.

Show your daughter my post, maybe she'll see sense and stop stretching her ears.

I can't wear little studs any more, as they just fall straight through.

Also they really smell! You know that weird cheesy smell you get from time to time from normal earings? Well multiply that smell by 100! I shower every morning, wash my hair and scrub my ears but by the end of the day they smell awful, it actually makes me quite paranoid that other people can smell it!

I'd love to have my lovely neat little earlobes back!

lol, just passing thru, and found this post.