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Original poster

Is there anyone you miss but for whatever reason don't have contact with them or can't?

27 replies

eNABlemetobebetter · 30/01/2009 18:12

I really miss 2 of my school friends and can't find any details for them. I also miss someone I used to be close too but it isn't good to be in touch with them. I miss having a mum but letting her into my life would end in tears so I can't.

I just don't feel that one should have to miss anyone but life isn't black and white is it?

OP posts:
sweetcat · 30/01/2009 18:21

What a spooky post I was hoovering earlier, and was thinking about my best friend from school, as you do!

We lost touch 23 yrs ago and I wouldn't know where to start searching but sometimes I do miss her. I's natural really I suppose. A bit sad though, and TBh, we would probably end up having nothing in common if we met up now so maybe it's best we don't?

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 30/01/2009 18:23

Is it me??

OP posts:
HolyGuacamole · 30/01/2009 18:26

Interesting post.

I think that because you choose not to have someone in your life for your own good, does not mean that any feelings you had for them should just disappear.

People and circumstances can both change so never say never. However, I also believe that you have to protect yourself by kicking hurtful people from your life, whether that is taking a distance or actually disowning them. For me it is a matter or weighing up the advantages and disadvantages or whether the friendship or relationship is equal. There are people I miss having in my life (mostly family) but I know for a fact that I am far better off without them.

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 30/01/2009 18:27

What about if you want someone in your life and they can't be?

OP posts:
sweetcat · 30/01/2009 18:27

Could be! Be great if it was. If you lived with me and my parents so you could do your A levels while your parents moved to Livingston, then IT'S YOU!!!!!

HolyGuacamole · 30/01/2009 18:28

Well, in that case it is something you just have to accept, if it was meant to be, then it would be. Thems the breaks.

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 30/01/2009 18:32

sweetcat, not me.

HG- I have changed my mind. I no longer want this person in my life as have just had a conversation with them and now I am in a bad mood.

result I think.

OP posts:
HolyGuacamole · 30/01/2009 18:33

Are you nab3children?

sweetcat · 30/01/2009 18:36

Oh well, it would have been spooky if it were you.

And if that person has put you ina bad mood with a conversation then they are not worth the heartache. Sorry....

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 30/01/2009 18:38

No need to be sorry.

I knew this would happen but I am too soft and spoke to them.

All okay.

OP posts:
sweetcat · 30/01/2009 18:42

You sound like me, I am too soft too. On the whole though there's nothing wrong with that! Chin up...

mumof2teenboys · 31/01/2009 12:09

Theres someone i miss horribly, he is an ex, but the lines got a bit blurry a couple of years ago. My (now) oh won't let me have anything to do with him, which i understand and respect. BUT we were friends for 15+ years before anything happened. I miss his friendship more than i miss him as an ex iyswim. My fault for blurring the lines i suppose

themildmanneredjanitor · 31/01/2009 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 16:08

I can relate to that mum2teenboys. It is sad when friendship is lost when that was what you had first.

I feel so low today and worry the feelings won't go.

OP posts:
IdrisTheDragon · 31/01/2009 16:11

There's someone I miss and debate with myself whether to contact them or not. Probably better not to, but I am still wistful.

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 16:12

Who is it?

What do you think you would gain from contacting them?

OP posts:
IdrisTheDragon · 31/01/2009 17:14

Don't think I'd gain anything from contacting them other than a frisson of excitement. We were friends, took things a bit far, stopped and I wouldn't want anything to happen, but do miss his friendship. Haven't been in touch with him for about 10 months and haven't seen him for nearly 2 years but do think about it sometimes.

ChasingSquirrels · 31/01/2009 17:17

I miss my ex, I do have contact with him - because of the children, but it is just handing them over.
I miss our friendship and the loss of all that shared history.

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 17:19

I miss a friendship I had with my ex and I think having recently had him come back in my life and then go again, it just makes me feel so and depairing of ever being happy.

OP posts:
CaptainKarvol · 31/01/2009 17:21

I miss two school friends, and two good friends from the city I used to live in, and one friend from antenatal classes who moved back to her home country. Moving about the country is crap in so many ways, and I am just rubbish at staying in touch - phone phobic and clumsy in print. It's all my fault, but I still miss them a lot.

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 17:24

Why not just send a card. Say you miss them and think about them often but are rubbish at writing. If I got a card like that it would make my day.

OP posts:
CaptainKarvol · 31/01/2009 19:33

that's a nice idea NAB. You wouldn't think I was a bit of a psycho then? I'm thinking of a thread the other day when someone was ranting about being invited to an old friends' wedding, and how wierd it was (I did that to my friends for my wedding 5 years ago...)

I'm sorry you feel so low, BTW. I posted and ran, then thought that this kind of old-school-friend relationship wasn't really what was on your mind, I've seen a lot of your posts on here but never known what to say. I hope things get easier for you soon.

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 19:41

I recently sent cards to two school friends I would love to get in touch with. I had an email back to say I had the wrong KM and the other hasn't replied so am a bit disappointed.

5 years ago a different friend found me on FR and I was thrilled to bits. Still friends now and I want to move near her.

Last week I found another old friend on face book and she has been a great support to me and it has been lovely catching up.

Thanks for your kind words, CK. Am in a bit of a mess atm. (Again )

OP posts:
Monty100 · 31/01/2009 21:00

Hello eNAB.

My eyes are filling up reading your posts on this thread. I've read your posts on other threads too and I'm sorry you're still feeling like this. I really feel for you.

Best wishes. and an un-mumsnet hug. x

cheapskatemum · 31/01/2009 21:02

Was having a conversation with DS3 about just such a person earlier today. DS was talking about going into car design (he's busy trying to decide which GCSE options to do) & this old friend designed the Austin Maestro's bumper!