What sort of game is this he is playing now?

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

Dh is leaving, hopefully. His suitcase is packed and in the living room. I had better not get used to having the children around because he has a plan

BUT now he is in the yard cleaning it!!!! wtf does he think is going to happen? Does he think I am going to turn round and say "Oh you have cleaned the yard you can stay. You have ruined the last four and half years of my life, but I'll forgive since you have cleaned the yard"

?

hmm - I'm afraid I dont know shesells, its strange behaviour but maybe it is his last ditch attempt at being allowed to stay?

Why had you better not get used to having the children around.

What's the plan

i've no idea what you are/have been going through but i hope it gets sorted and life gets better.
move the suitcase into the yard, done

let him clean it and then hand him his case before he steps back inside

he's cleaning it to give himself time to desperately work out his cunning 'plan'

pillock

Yes, move the suitcase into the yard and lock the door.

Did he say that to you about getting used to not having the children about? If so, what exactly does he have in mind?, has he said?.

Sounds like his 'plan' is a bit crap. He doesn't sound like he has a plan. His plan is to what? Daft idiot. Let him clean the yard. Can he wipe down the toilet seats and do some dusting too while he's at it?

If you have children, sit with them in a room, and wait til he has gone. Then when he has gone change the locks as he is threatening you with...child abduction? Reporting you for being an unfit mother? He has packed a suitcase but is doing a bit of yard-cleaning? Who's the mad one then?

Yes he did say that to me. Well he actually said that I am crap mother and shouldn't get used to being able to neglect the children because he is going to sort it out.

No he hasn't told me his master plan yet. But it probably involves telling my mum of me. He has been doing that a lot lately.

I am the bedroom with dd2 who is only 18 months so doesn't really know what is going on. dd1 is out.

What a horrible thing for him to say to the mother of his children

Is he still cleaning the yard?

I don't know he might have gone. I will go and check.

He frequently says things like that to me. Which is why I have asked him to move out.

Sounds like he is playing for time. Your mum should be on your side. That is emotional blackmail on his part involving your mum.

god does your mother listen to him?

She is on my side. She occassionally humours him if she can be bothered and then rings me and we laugh about him.

She is my mum and my bestfriend and DH knows this so I don't know what he thinks he will acheive calling her. He has rang her twice already today to tell her i got drunk last night and forgot to lock the door and to tell her that I am being rude and sarcastic with him

Gosh SheSells, that sounds so childish of him.

Good riddance then imo.

If he starts painting the front door as well I guess you need to watch he isn't trying to put the house on the market.

Good that your mum takes no notice of him, what on earth does he think he will achieve by telling tales to your mum about you.

You are well rid of him, no one needs that sort of verbal abuse especially not from the person who is supposed to love you.

I hope you are your DC are okay.

He has gone but his suitcase is still here

I am going to phone him to ask what is going on.

I suspect that he doesn't want to leave and he is waiting for you, expecting you to ask him to stay. I think he is playing a game and doesn't think you are actually serious about it.

He is at his mums and will talk to me when he gets back! I don't want to bloody well talk to him I want him to get out of my house.

I presume he has told his mum about me this time as she was ranting and shouting in the background, couldn't hear what she was saying though.

SheSells - how about you just put his suitcase outside the front door, lock it and leave your key in so he cannot get back inside?

It would get nicked and it has his meds in so I can't do that.

You have every right not to talk to him if you don't want to. When he comes back just open the door, hand him his case and tell him he has nothing to say that you want to hear. Then lock the door and breathe a huge sigh of relief!

Just a thought but, could you put his case in a taxi and send it to his mums?

Hey TimeForMe - that is a good idea about the case and taxi.

Yes it a good idea but his mum only lives up the road so I don't think a taxi would come.

DD2 is napping and I can't leave her to take it to him so I will just have to wait untill he comes back.

Nothing he can say will chnage my mind about him leaving. I am fed up of life being one long argument.

How about you tie some rope, washing line or something around the handle of the suitcase, put the other end through the letterbox and ties it to a door handle so it can't be nicked from the doorstep and release it when he turns up, that way you can avoid letting him in
But I bet a taxi would come if you explained you have a case that needs taking just a few doors up but is too heavy for you to carry,they will still be getting a fare.

I can understand how you feel, I wouldn't want to get involved in any arguments/discussions either. He wouldn't be getting a foot in my door!