Please join me in Congratulations/Commiserations - Its Over.

[MadameOvary]

DP has finally ended things after having "feelings" for another woman. We didnt live together because I wasn't sure that he could be the equal supportive partner I needed. He never stopped badgering me about it and I never stopped saying no. So he decided first that we should be "just friends" which was bearable, as to be honest I always took everything he said at face value and hoped we could one day reach a workable arrangement. But now he has confessed he has feelings for someone else.

I am on the breakup rollercoaster, elated one minute, miserable the next. Elated because now he will (eventually) be making some other woman miserable with his contrary, childish, manipulative and often destructive behaviour, and miserable that I have been an utter mug.

I got pg with DD because I wanted a child with him, not because I wanted a child at any cost. So its slightly when he says "You wanted a baby - I gave you one"

My beautiful baby is the only reason I dont regret being with him, that is the way I feel now.
To give some idea of the kind of thing he was capable of, this was the thread I posted around the time DD was born.

I just need some kind words right now. I am devastated.

You sound like you are doing absolutely the right thing- it how disappointing for you! You have had the patience of a saint, truly, and it seems like you could be much happier in another relationship. Sorry to post and run- at work, will be back in a while- but us kirk st girls gotta stick together!

Poor you, but it does sound like it's for the best, although that can't make it any easier.
Hope that you're OK.

I'm so sorry. You must be feeling all over the place at the moment - give yourself plenty of time and don't expect to feel "normal" any time soon. It sounds like you're well rid, and that knowledge will make it easier in time.

BoF -
Good thing is, I dont want another relationship, just want to give my whole heart to DD.

Lizzylou - it is for the best. We weren't happy, although happiness is certainly possible for me now, I'm not sure about him. I still have tender feelings for him, and told him that if there was a chance that this other woman could make him happy he should go for it.
One of the many issues in our relationship was that he is 12 years older than me so didnt feel he could "wait around" for me to live with him.

Your DD is very lucky, you sound like a lovely Mom

Thank you LL!
Hassled - I never wanted to be in the position to be well rid of the man I chose to have a child with. But its true, I am.

was that you ! congratulations! hope you find yourself a wonderful partner

Yes Lulumama, that was me. Thanks for all your support. That was really the beginning of the end I think.

lots of love to you

MO, so glad you have made this decision - congratulations on finding the strength to do it. for you that you needed to, however.

The elation and relief will continue to grow over the weeks and months to come, the sadness etc will fade as you discover how much easier your life is when you are not worrying about this man's effect on your life.

Stay strong!

oh goodness i remember that thread.

Just read the other thread, I think that congratulations are in order rather than commiserations. Well done for making the decision and good luck for your future.

scorpio - now you know why i haven't been on the April thread much.
ThumbBurns - Thank you. I know every day I am going to feel just that little bit brighter, and that helps.

MO - we are all there for you, you know Look after yourself, and E

I cannot believe that thread was you. I think Congrats too.

MmeLindt - sad isnt it? Unfortunately he made the decision, but I know I have dodged a bullet.
Sometimes the unhealthy relationships are the worst to get over, but I will.

scorpio - could you say something on the thread, maybe link it to here? Would that be ok?

yes - link this thread to april for you?

Have done, and come and see us. Just look after yourself - you will be on that rollercoaster for a while.

I have been single parent with a small baby before, too.

Thank you scorpio - that made me cry! (but in a good way) I wish all you Mnetters were here to help me tidy away his things - mostly done now, thankfully.

I am sitting here trying to think how to translate a German phrase. I hope this makes sense.

"Rather a horrible end than horror without end"

I just had a peek at your profile and I have to say that your DD is absolutely gorgeous

I have the same Tesco bag, sadly it only holds my knitting and not such a beautiful little girl.

MmeLindt that's great. I have a German friend - what is it in the original - she doesnt know yet so I will share it with her and we can smile.

Your dd is gorgeous. I also like you charm necklaces too! Good luck with your life. x

Right, got rid of customers and read the thread [bad worker emoticon]- blimey! Definitely congratulations are in order...I second the feeling that it will actually be a huge relief not to have to cope with his childish selfishness - he sounds like a serious piece of hard work!! I know your priority right now is you dd, and rightly so, but at least you have got some space now to focus on your own happiness. It will mean that you won't be too exhausted by someone else's childish mindgames to spot a good thing when it comes along- as it surely will! Good luck and all the best- I'll look out for your posts

sta - thank you, I think so obviously
BoF - I dont think I'll know what to do with all the extra headspace and energy, DD and I will have so much fun with it

MO - sorry that you are so sad but do have to agree that I think this is for the best. I am sure in time you will see that this was the right thing to do for you and your DD (who is GORGEOUS btw).