me and dh have fallen out - help!

[chocolatefudgebrownie]

My dh and I had a bit of a falling out last night. I couldn't get out of him what I had said. He said that I should know what I said that had upset him. I honestly do not know, and listed a few things, but he said 'no' to every one I said.

He wouldn't speak to me this morning. Then when I went in the bathroom, he left for work without saying goodbye and kissing me or the dc's. Which has never happened before

I sent a text after he left to ask what is wrong and I haven't got a reply. Obviously, I am really worried at what I have done. If he won't tell me, I don't know how to solve it. Tis all a mess

< appauds bubblagirl >

How is King Sulk of the Unexplained Crossness this evening?

This thread's title is wrong - you haven't fallen out, he's being a tit.

Be all cheerful with him tonight and DO NOT ask him what you did etc.
When he gets cross at you being cheerful, just tell him that you thought all was ok as he hadnt said anything. If theres a problem can he talk about it like an adult with you?

Let us know how you get on tonight!

Chocolatefudge - is he talking yet?

Evening all! I asked him if he saw my text and he said yes. He said he left without kissing us because he was late . How long does a quick kiss take!

He is not engaging in any communication with me really, all he said this evening when home was "hi" and no kiss!

I don't want to show I'm upset. How do I handle this?

Thanks 2pt4 that's helpful.

Just tell him outright that you're not a mind reader and that he is now being childish and that if he wants an apology he can talk to you about the issue now or not at all.

Say that unless he discusses it with you now you will not engage with his silly behaviour anymore.

Don't play into his hands. Be extra nice.. 'what do you fancy doing tonight DH? shall we watch a film and snuggle up on the sofa?' etc

If he is still brewing up some kind of grudge he'll explode with frustration at you not playing into his hands and will spill the beans at some point!
If he doesnt then he'll just end up looking daft and he wont want that as he's obviously trying to pin his bad mood on you.
Keep cheerfl and dont let him!

A couple of friends husbands have given them the same treatment because they hadn't had sex for a few days? Give him a blowie and bet he's yer best friend again! Did wonders for my mates even though it was the last thing they felt like doing!!

..... how many people on here would do that? (give sulking twat a bj when you dont want to to put him in a good mood). hell would freeze over before i did that.

Giving a petulant spolied brat a blow job???

So i fecking would!!

More fool your mates.

Nerack09 I offered him that last night there is just no pleasing some dh 's it would seem

I read that mars and Venus book once, that men go into a 'cave' to solve their issues and need silence. I think my dh is like this. I'm sure he'll come around.

I shall enjoy mn in the meantime

x-posts controlfreaky

cfb, you offered him a BJ last night and he declined?????

childish twat

please don't subjugate yourself any more

if I offered my DH a blwjob, he would forgive me even if I'd "accidentally" thrown his golfclubs in the dustbin !!

"cave" is right, he's a fucking neanderthal

Ditto Anyfucker. My DH would forgive me anything for a BJ.

He sounds like a wanker tbh

I'd be offering him bugger all else.

however, I would not dream of offering one just to get in his good books either

unless it was in a jokey way, certainy not in these circs

I would consider keeping BJ's strictly off the menu for the foreseeable future !

There would be no menu whatsoever if DH did that to me i'm afraid!!! No BJ's No sex No nothing.

How very immature

You might as well lie down and write welcome on your arse. Sorry but do you have a spine? You got lots of good advice on how to deal with a passive aggressive man (apart from the blow job advice) and you are still falling over yourself to please and placate him. Pleas stop unless you want your whole life to end up one big ego massage for your dh.

He still won't talk this morning. I asked if he was coming out tonight and he said no. We had arranged a 'date night' last week. I asked 'why' and he said that 'he felt ill' an excuse

Anyway I have 'grown a spine!' and told him he is being childish. I said if he wants an adult relationship, he needs to speak to me and sort it out. For now, we are at stalemate and will stay that way, until he shows signs of growing out of this sulky bratishness!

Tough love for my toddler dh, all the way from now on! I think he must be picking up tips from 3 year old ds, who is master of sulkiness, wonder where he gets it from

CFB - feel for you, seems men like giving the silent treatment, it must make them feel superior. Giving a BJ is crap, why should you get down on your hands and knees (literally).
You've told him now so say no more to him and see how long he sulks for!

He sounds very childish.

However - one thing you said worried me. He told your DS that he was flying back to the Middle East. Is he from the Middle East? Have you any cause to think he is maybe constructing a scenario where you are fighting or not getting on and he would take your children? Sorry to be alarmist but that worried me a little.

Following on from Buda, get your children's passports out of the house, give them to a friend/family to keep safe.

Could you try a slightly different tack?

Rather than asking him what's wrong, or telling him he's being childish, could you take a non-emotionally weighted line, and say "I realise there is something bothering you, but truly I have no idea what it really is. When you feel ready to tell me, I am completely willing to listen - just let me know. Until then, you know, I can't know what's wrong, and I can't help."

Then you have detached yourself both from being controlled by him and from being responsible for him.

My hubby also does the silent treatment. I can take it for a few hours and hen our conversations go like this,

I now say to him
"what's wrong"
He says " Nothing"
I say "well, i won't ask you again, grow up and get over it"

End of!!

He has finally grown up and decided to talk about it over a meal out tonight. Took his time though, 2 days and counting so far! Let's hope he is as good as word.

Buda - I don't think he would take the children to the Middle east. (I would kill him!) He is from a family who hold high moral values and I don't think they would allow him to do this. I know they say 'never say never', but I don't think he has it in him. Just being a bit childish at the mo!