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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

what a total mess

39 replies

what2donow · 14/01/2009 18:43

I know I am going to get 100% flamed for this. I also accept that is probably something I deserve, but here goes anyway:

Last year, a few months after splitting with my exP, I met someone. I wasn't looking, he was a friend of a friend. He was funny, clever, charming, and married with DCs a similar age to mine. I never expected anything to happen, because he was married. At the end of the evening, by which time I was rather drunk (he was driving so sober) I kissed him. He kissed me back, we snogged, that was that.

I thought of it as a drunken mistake, but when we met again a few months later he told me he'd thought about me all the time since the previous night. And so started our affair.

After that, we would speak & text each other every day. It wasnt just a physical attraction by any means, although that was very strong, it was everything else as well. We both said we had never felt as we did about each other about anyone else before, if that makes sense. We said we were the loves of each other lives, and used to talk about being pensioners going for walks by the sea together etc. Sad I know.

My ex (who is not and never has been a nice man, but thats one for another thread) then by various means gets hold of their phone nos & starts phoning them - to him along the lines of stay away from my woman & my dcs you c*t and to his wife - your prick of a DH is fcking the woman I love, keep him away from her & my DCs. And so on.

Around this point, his wife phones me again, & leaves a voicemail asking to confirm whether her DH is telling the truth in saying he hadnt seen me since she last called me (She'd phoned me once before & I'd lied & said I was just a friend via work to which she told me he knew he wasnt allowed female friends, and she had told him he wasnt to speak to me again & she expected me not to contact him....) or my Ex was. I don't phone her back. Reason is that I couldnt face lying to her. But equally I didnt want to tell her the truth.

I expected to hear from him when the dust settled, as had previously been the case, but I didnt. Then I found out he was in major trouble at work & on verge of being sacked as a result of something involving my Ex - this is about 3rd/4th hand so know none of the details. I text him to apologise for my ex's behaviour, but havent had a reply or anything. This was several weeks ago.

General opinion among my friends seems to be I should just write it off, and move on (how I loathe that phrase) but I don't feel I can just forget that easily about someone I felt so strongly about & that I should try and contact him, even if it produces the worst imagineable result (ie that he wants nothing to do with me)?

I havent really allowed myself to think that might be the outcome, but if it is, how then do I get over it?

OP posts:
prettyfly1 · 14/01/2009 18:52

ok so let me get this straight without being harsh. You had an affair. Your ex dropped you in it and as a consequence this man may loose everything, including his job. Dont you think your influence on one another lives has done enough damage. Leave him to it and get out. I dont condone what your ex did but your the one having an affair so seriously - just let it go. Now before anyone else is forced to suffer.

NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 18:54

Can I just say that prettyfly1 talks sense.

I know how it hurts though.

VeronicaMars · 14/01/2009 18:54

Are you asking if you should contact him or not? Then no you shouldn't.
He has obviously made a decision not to contact you and even though it's your worst imaginable result, I'm sure it's a lot worse for his wife.
Sorry if that sounds harsh but your ex is obviously causing a lot of trouble for them and he has decided it's not worth it.

prettyfly1 · 14/01/2009 18:56

thanks nab.

NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 18:57

You are welcome pf1.

Littlefish · 14/01/2009 18:58

Sorry, but I am going to be harsh. He has obviously made a decision to stay away from you and break contact.

Please respect his decision and his marriage.

Attempting to get involved with him again my jeopardise not only his marriage (again), relationship with his children and also his job and income.

kormachameleon · 14/01/2009 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

what2donow · 14/01/2009 19:18

Thanks for your replies. You have all said much what I thought you would.

For me, I just want to know - from him - if its all over. Even if it was a one line text. At least then I would know that's what he wants, or at least what he's decided to do.

Absent that, and knowing how unhappy he was at home, and how happy he was with me (not just my biased opinion, told this by his mates too) I dont want to him to think that my feelings have changed if all he needs is more time, to sort things out at work, home etc. He has low self esteem & always thought I was too good for him & wouldn't wait for him (not true on either count)

What I would want him to know if I did contact him was that my feelings hadn't changed but if his have, then ok, tell me & I won't ever bother him again. But I can understand the reasons why I shouldn't contact him.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 14/01/2009 19:25

All his mates knew about your affair?

He is in danger of losing his livelyhood?

His dc's are unbearably hurt?

His wife is devastated at his infidelity?

That poor woman, stay the hell away before you both damage his family's lives any further.

AbricotsSecs · 14/01/2009 19:25

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Message withdrawn

Cosette · 14/01/2009 19:28

Sorry, but I think his silence does tell you that it's all over. If he wanted to speak to you he would have found a way. He hasn't and therefore has made a decision to make it work with his wife and children, and you need to respect that.

He was unhappy because his marriage was having problems, and by being with you he was escaping them and therefore happier. Now he is refocusing on his marriage, he will become happier again as they resolve their problems. If you love him, then don't make it harder for him by contacting him.

what2donow · 14/01/2009 19:30

I guess I can't make this or myself sound any worse than I already have - yes his friends all knew, as it was via them we met in the first place.

Some of his work colleagues also knew, as I had met them as well & was meant to be going to their Xmas do.

OP posts:
dhreadmythread · 14/01/2009 19:37

If you want to know how is wife is feeling maybe you could read one of the many threads on here at the moment about their husbands being 'deeply attracted'or having 'an emotional connection'to another woman.

BennyAndJoon · 14/01/2009 19:37

Sorry but am at this.

If he was that unhappy he should have had the decency to let go of one relationship before grasping the next

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 14/01/2009 19:41

sometimes people need to read between the lines. He silence speaks volumes.

busybeingmum · 14/01/2009 20:24

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbricotsSecs · 14/01/2009 20:40

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what2donow · 14/01/2009 20:42

BBM, I'm sorry for what you went through, and pleased you have managed to resolve matters between you and your DH.

I honestly would not have - and would never - behaved like your Dhs OW. Despite what people may think of me for what I've posted, I'm far from a heartless bitch. I haven't had the happiest life by any means, and have previously dealt with the deaths of the 3 people I loved more than anything who said they would never leave me. He told me that as well and now if I dont contact him, or vice versa, I suppose I have to come to terms with that loss too.

OP posts:
AbricotsSecs · 14/01/2009 20:47

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Lilyloo · 14/01/2009 20:50

'a total mess'that you should walk away from.

If he wants to contact you he will the fact he hasn't suggests it's over.

Please spare his wife and dc the hurt you are going to cause if you pursue this.

busybeingmum · 14/01/2009 20:51

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Message withdrawn

prettyfly1 · 14/01/2009 20:54

I am sorry for your previous losses but something you need to understand is that he was never yours to loose. He made commitments and a life not just too his wife but also to his children and to his colleagues. If you dont "Lose" him, they do. Do you want innocent children to go through that. I have said it before and i will say it again - people do meet other people before marriages end and it can work but you have to remember you cannot build happiness off the back of anothers misery. Let it go and move on before you hate yourself totally.

what2donow · 14/01/2009 20:56

I know he had made promises to her, but I also know they had spoken about separation over the last few years, well before I was ever involved.

As to counselling, it's not my thing, to be honest before all this I had just expected (other than with my DCs who are wonderful) not to have a very happy life, and certainly not to ever meet anyone I loved as I did him.

OP posts:
prettyfly1 · 14/01/2009 21:00

and lo and behold - what do you have - an unhappy life. Of course you can have happiness - you are coming across as having some serious entitlement issues (as in you arent entitled to anything) and some work on your confidence and feelings about yourself would do you the world of good. If they were going to seperate they would have and jsut so you know almost every man on the planet having an affair says something to that effect. She is calling you no end to find out if he is being unfaithful continuously - does that sound like the behaviour of a woman distanced from her partner to you???

what2donow · 14/01/2009 21:00

BBM - I didnt take it as an attack at all, honestly

OP posts:
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