I know I am going to get 100% flamed for this. I also accept that is probably something I deserve, but here goes anyway:
Last year, a few months after splitting with my exP, I met someone. I wasn't looking, he was a friend of a friend. He was funny, clever, charming, and married with DCs a similar age to mine. I never expected anything to happen, because he was married. At the end of the evening, by which time I was rather drunk (he was driving so sober) I kissed him. He kissed me back, we snogged, that was that.
I thought of it as a drunken mistake, but when we met again a few months later he told me he'd thought about me all the time since the previous night. And so started our affair.
After that, we would speak & text each other every day. It wasnt just a physical attraction by any means, although that was very strong, it was everything else as well. We both said we had never felt as we did about each other about anyone else before, if that makes sense. We said we were the loves of each other lives, and used to talk about being pensioners going for walks by the sea together etc. Sad I know.
My ex (who is not and never has been a nice man, but thats one for another thread) then by various means gets hold of their phone nos & starts phoning them - to him along the lines of stay away from my woman & my dcs you c*t and to his wife - your prick of a DH is fcking the woman I love, keep him away from her & my DCs. And so on.
Around this point, his wife phones me again, & leaves a voicemail asking to confirm whether her DH is telling the truth in saying he hadnt seen me since she last called me (She'd phoned me once before & I'd lied & said I was just a friend via work to which she told me he knew he wasnt allowed female friends, and she had told him he wasnt to speak to me again & she expected me not to contact him....) or my Ex was. I don't phone her back. Reason is that I couldnt face lying to her. But equally I didnt want to tell her the truth.
I expected to hear from him when the dust settled, as had previously been the case, but I didnt. Then I found out he was in major trouble at work & on verge of being sacked as a result of something involving my Ex - this is about 3rd/4th hand so know none of the details. I text him to apologise for my ex's behaviour, but havent had a reply or anything. This was several weeks ago.
General opinion among my friends seems to be I should just write it off, and move on (how I loathe that phrase) but I don't feel I can just forget that easily about someone I felt so strongly about & that I should try and contact him, even if it produces the worst imagineable result (ie that he wants nothing to do with me)?
I havent really allowed myself to think that might be the outcome, but if it is, how then do I get over it?