Back in summer 2007 I found a sent text on his phone 'that sounds nice see you soon beautifull' sent to someone called Lee I asked him about it he said it was a mistake just a girl who lived near where he worked and had been texted but NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. Ok we tried to get over it but had a nagging feeling i wasnt being told the full truth. A mutual friend told me that this girl had in fact given him a blow job in his car. He swore it didnt finish as he was so racked with guilt. He went away for 4 days and we decided to get over it and try to move on. Several great months followed. Feb this year..im pregnant with dc3 he says its ok we are happy and he loves me there is no choice. He stops sleeping with me in May this year tells me its because of work and stress(his business is struggling) I believe him. I check his phone-nothing. He plays a certain sport which means his out the house for hours at a time. October things are getting worse still no sex, ask him over and over if there is anyone else, if his had a one night stand and got some horrible std my god even if he was gay!(in a jokey way!) November our baby is born. Two weeks paternity leave are made hell for me. He goes to 'work' I cant get hold of him, he dont answer his phone, his work colleagues havent seen him he goes out every afternoon of paternity leave refuses to take eldest dc and comes back late at night. Im going mad crying shouting at him why is he doing this to me. He always sweet talked me round to his just busy etc etc. He has always liked a drink but the drinking increased to everyday and i would beg him to go a day without and he just couldnt do it. Xmas eve after 6weeks of him disappearing I asked him some more what was going on. He said he didnt know what he wanted anymore was questioning if we was right for each other. I didnt scream or shout but sat down with him and said he had to do what he thought was best no point staying for the kids if he isnt happy etc etc. We agree to make an effort over xmas. By boxing day he was so down in the dumps and had his head in his hands every 2 minutes and wasnt getting anywhere with his thinking. 30/12 big row, he calls me unstable and a freak and how can things every work with me the way I am. I ask him to go, he leaves. Phone call from a mutual friend-he had been seeing someone else. A 18yr old girl who works behind the bar at his sports club and its been going on since MAY!! I confront him he doesnt deny it. Since then its all got so complicated he is still not living at the marital home I am with the kids. He told me he told her he loves her, she may be pregnant, found out he has ANOTHER MOBILE PHONE!!He cant believe he has hurt her he knows he has hurt me but cant believe he has hurt her. He is still lying to me about stuff I know to be true he hasnt got rid of the other phone and is probally still talking to the girl. He is sorry but not exactly knocking my door down sorry. He only slept with ehr once. He been taking her to uni and so many people know about it I feel like the last to know. Her sister even phoned someone and told them the girl has met his parents He says he dont know what he wants and he doesnt know if she is pregnant. Shit hit the fan yesterday as I sent her very religious parents a letter telling them that she been sleeping with a married man. This girl knows me so she knew he was married with kids and a pregnant wife. He dont want me to contact him and most importnat thing 'is the kids' he wasnt thinking of them before was he!He reckons he needs counselling but as yet not done anything about it. I havent screamed or shouted at him and he finds that 'weird' he said im evil for sending the letter. He comes round to see the kids and suddenly starts doing housework and the babys bottles things he never done before. I feel like he playing me off against her. He came to see the kids sunday and even done his hair before he left although he swore he wasnt seeing her-like his word means anything. Ive asked him to be 100% honest but the lies still keep coming. It now all my fault apparently our marriage has been struggling for the past 4yrs, he keeps coming up with random times that I had the ump over something stupid. He has had a lot of freedom from me I think, more so then a lot of men but apparently even that is not good enough. I dont understand any of it and when I ask any questions about his relationship with the girl he says its irrelevant as the problems were already there. When I ask if he wants the relationship to coninue he just says 'how can it' not that he dont want it to. We will never get over this, but I just thought id share the story and see what replies I get!