How do all you SAHMs make yourselves interesting and sexy for DH?

[lostinmotherhood]

Age old question and an age old problem I suspect but I am struggling ALOT with my self esteem at the moment.

I have a 10 week old and a 2 yr old I have at least 2 stone to lose.

I have joined a gym and weight watchers but I am terrified that DH will no longer find me attractive - what with no make up / constant conversations about potty training etc / and my stretchmarks and flabby skin.

DH has said recently that he is finding life mundane and I quite agree with him -we don't go out as much as we used to we just can't and I am very scared that one day he will take off with a sexier more interesting version of me.

He works with some very attractive ladies + I feel like a frump.

You go girl but remember its not all one sided he needs to make the effort too.....

Write: hello sexy/beautiful/handsome/honeybunny/... fancy cuddling up with me tonight?

Or I'd love you to caress my boobs (male phantasy going into overdrive there).

Well, I'm sure whatever you write he will be pleased. Men are quite simple really

just say what you feel and he will be positively shocked believe me!

DH and I email each other throughout the day, often just with mundane tittle tattle (what's for tea/how work is going/how the boys were this morning) but sometimes we get romantic/sexy (more "Love you" than "Give it to me big boy" I have to say!)
Just say what you feel and what you know will work!
Good for you, have a lovely night

I have one of those irritating DHs who finds me more attractive in jeans and one of his old work shirts with no make up on and messy hair!

Mind you I do have the same worries - especially after we went to a wedding and I asked who one girl was and he said he doesn't know - she sits on the beautiful young women desk - he was rubbing his shins as the lead balloon sunk out of sight!

Maybe take some time for yourself - lock the bathroom door, make sure you have shaved your legs - slap on a bit of mascara and under eye bag cover up stuff and a squirt of perfume and you are halfway there.

And you really shouldn't worry - DH says he finds the wobbly bits as sexy as the firm bits that were there before - think he read that he should say - they are the mark of your love for me by giving me children - but it makes me grin.

And make a pass at him - the fact that you find yourself sexy and have enough confidence to do this will be sexy to him.

But hey your youngest is so young you need to be tested for madness for even thinking about anyone else - when DS was that small all I could do was moan about my boobs hurting and stuff as much food down my face as possible - the calories for breastfeeding don;t you know!

Once, I packed DD off to my sister's (only the second time we'd been away from her alnight) without telling DH. I then left a nice bottle of red wine and two wine glasses by the front door and had a soak in the bath. DH was pleasantly suprised .

It wasn't a particularly passionate evening, but it was great to reconnect and chat and have a lie-in together the next day.

DH said it made him feel special that I'd gone to the trouble of organising it.

just texted him - he is on the train

he he this is fun !!!!

Tell him you have been reading a thread on Mumsnet on how to give a good blow job.

I can assure you he will find that very interesting indeed.

My DH no longer objects to me looking at t'internet after I revealed that sexy tips were forthcoming.

Another one that works well for me is to text Dh when he is watching telly and I am already in bed and tell him a sh*g is urgently needed, never heard him lock up so quickly.

or sometimes I text him (when I am out) to make sure he is in bed with ermm you know what

in bed with what esmeralda ?????

you know a raging hard one so I can hop on when I come home

oo-er missis !!!

I have wrinkly old saggy skin and stretchmarks all over my tummy and am four stone heavier than when we met. I have developed rosacea and exhaustion and have three children - 5, 3 and 10 months. I want to get my act together too - am also considering weight watchers and a committed load of exercise. And I know what he means about mundane - I remember the scene in The Bridges of Madison county when Meryl Streep talks about her marriage becoming a 'life of details'. But I have decided not to wait for my DH to look elsewhere - he is an honest man though with a strong sense of family and duty so not actually worried. But I want to feel good and have fun. Anyway - we had two children before we were married and my figure and energy had vanished. I went to the gym - only lost a stone but toned up quite a bit and felt depressed looking at sexy thongs and saucy underwear on line. Then DH took me to see Cabaret on stage for my birthday and I realised that retro is the way to go with lingerie. Silky French knickers, camisoles etc - all make you feel like wandering around the bedroom (if I ignore the washing draped everywhere) like a 30's film star - no need to expose much to feel curvy and sexy. I discovered a new confidence which made a real difference to the whole thing. We often have nights where we eat at the table with candles and a bottle of cava listening to a new CD - no telly. Haven't been out for ages - all our parents are dead and although can sometimes get babysitters not often. Get happy and remind him you and still there - I'm sure he knows that but getting your swing back fir yourself and watching the reaction is a great boost. Hey fellas - we can have babies, get curvy and still have a twinkle in our eyes - oh yes.

Good luck sweetheart - and so know how you feel and it can get better sooner than you might think.

10 weeks is still early for you to feel

Hmm - typing gone down the drain though.

LOL at idea of time/money of going out to get eyebrows threaded, let alone bother colouring my grey bits. DH is lucky if I roll into bed without my specs and don't rub my hard feet on his tootsies. That said, he must like the "natural" look as I was never particularly well-groomed before children and would make Gok Wan & his ilk faint with horror.

Fortunately, I think I have married a good bloke, who loves his family and appreciates the fact that I put so much effort into them. That said, perhaps I should remove the salad from my teeth before snogging...

Hope you have a lovely evening with your DH. I am sure he would be very touched, and a tad flattered, to read your OP.

LOL at idea of time/money of going out to get eyebrows threaded, let alone bother colouring my grey bits. DH is lucky if I roll into bed without my specs and don't rub my hard feet on his tootsies. That said, he must like the "natural" look as I was never particularly well-groomed before children and would make Gok Wan & his ilk faint with horror.

Fortunately, I think I have married a good bloke, who loves his family and appreciates the fact that I put so much effort into them. That said, perhaps I should remove the salad from my teeth before snogging...

Hope you have a lovely evening with your DH. I am sure he would be very touched, and a tad flattered, to read your OP.

thanks everyone

your honest descriptions of your own bodies have made me feel normal - perhaps i should stop comparing myself to friends who are still to have their family and who can still fit into size 10/12 jeans

woken up with butterflies in my tummy today - he still loves me !!!!!