I know I don't deserve any support but for the sake of my husband and kids please can i have some help?

[NAB3lovelychildren]

So, I think ex really does mean it is over as he deletes email. I feel but also a tad relieved and really feel it will be fine with DH. DH forgives me.

He then emails me later and asks me to go on msn. We chat on there last night and then a couple of texts this morning before msn again. Pretty much straight away he says this is the last time we will have contact and refuses to phone me. Later we talk on the phone. (I honestly thought it was just as friends)

We both absolutely know we can't be together and it has to be no contact at all.

I have told DH it is finished.

I can't help thinking after all these years, what if I never get over him, what if I never stop wishing we could be together?

I have agreed no more emails/texts and have a friend who I can text instead.

Nab, keep posting here if it stops you texting/msn/emailing him. You can and will get through this remember.

Have thought a lot about him today. What is on my mind is it is our God daughters birthday soon and I now know they haven't moved so could send a card. I haven't for many years as I thought they had moved when they didn't reply to my last letter but I know why that is now. I want to tell her father what pain he has caused but I am not a vindictive person and even if it made me feel better for a short time, it would upset him and not achieve anything.

What is the goddaughter connection? Are you godmother to them or they to your children?

Me and ex are Godparents to their daughter.

I wrote to them as I often did and happened to ask about him. I got a letter back saying they had seen him with his wife and twin daughters at the place we used to work. I wrote back and said to pass on my best wishes. I never heard from them again so assumed they had moved.

Now I know that he wasn't married and am guessing the reason they didn't write back was because they had lied to me and also refused to give my ex my details when he asked for them. I am particulary hurt by them saying he had twin girls as they knew I always thought me and ex would have had them together. He wasn't married then or had children.

If I did say anything at all I wouldn't say anything mean about what they did.

I simply can't believe that! They lied to you in such a way? If it were me, I would not be god mother any more- they don't know the meaning of morality or Christian behaviour- how on earth have you managed to stay silent?

I only found out before Xmas that he wasn't married with twins when he told me what family he did have and hadn't married until one year before me. My ex told me they were trying to protect me and what was he meant to do when he couldn't get my details off anyone else? They lied to me as they knew I was still thinking about him and obviously thought he would hurt me. Not their call and it is bloody hard to take that we both wanted to be together and someone else stopped it and have actually casued other people pain now. All these years I thought he was married and I got on with my life as I figured he hadn't loved me as much as I had thought or I had loved him

I am so bloody with them.