Did post on my original thread half an hour ago but am feeling awful so please respond.
Can't work out how to add a link to my original thread, so just copied and pasted the most relevant bit.
Ok so I am back
Just talked to my husband about our relationship etc.
Am I going mad or is this slightly insane? Since my husband is saying how terrible our marriage is, how he doesn't feel he can work on it, we are such different people, does he think we will be together if we didn't have kids etc, I told to him think about the repercussions of his actions - i.e me finding a new man, our DD getting a new stepdad. He told me to stop guilt tripping him and making everything so black and white.
I told him that I'm not - he's the one that's wanting to separate, not me. I'm not denying there's things we could have worked on, but I think marriage is about commitment and making it work and sorting out issues.
His response is that he doesn't want to work at something where ten years down the line he realises he is just as unhappy. I told him it doesn't need to be like that.
I'm confused as to where he is coming from re a separation. Does he mean separating with a view to sorting out problems and potentially making things work, or is he talking about permanent separation. His repsonse is that he doesn't think at the moment we can make anything work so he wants to separate (no commital there then).
He doesn't like it if I say that it's his choice to leave, not mine. He says "oh so it's all my fault then". If I say it is his choice to choose whether to stay and sort it out, counselling, working on it or to leave and face whatever the future may be, he doesn't like it because he says I am making it so black and white and trying to guilt trip him???? How can I be guilt tripping him by spelling out the obvious?
He's made me feel really confused and keeps telling me I am guilt tripping him. But I keep saying the guilt is his because it's his choice to walk away - we all have to make choices in life and deal with it.
I told him to grow up and face his responsibilities.
I am rapidly getting peed off by this childish viewpoint of his.He seems to think that I'm making things so easy and that I'll be happy as long as I've got my little family and "he can stuff his problems" (his words)?????
Am I going insane or is he being slightly unreasonable, I mean if you choose not to work at something and walk away, you can't tell your wife you are guilt tripping them?
Sorry I am just so tired of this bull.
goodness, thinking about it. because i have called him selfish, immature, unkind and words to the like before and I'm now being accused of guilt tripping am I a toxic person????
Also, I can get a little bit needy because he's made me feel unloved???